Welcome to healingwell calliope.
I can relate to much of your post. I am also currently unmedicated. Not particularly happy about it at this point since I'm having some problems.
What meds were you on? I was on Abilify a few months ago and lost a truckload of weight. Killed my appetite completely. Since I've been off I've dealt with some major upheavals in my life and am at the heaviest I've been since high school.
I was a very heavy teen. I'm 5'3" and nearly made it to 200 in my mid teens. I too developed an eating disorder in my mid twenties (isn't that kinda late for that) and restricted myself to 50 (yep 50) calories a day on most days, for nearly a month and almost did permanent damage. Even after that I would have days I didn't eat at all or very little. I got down to 103 but maintained 110-115 for most of my life.
Now I've apparently got that whole eating disorder thing conquered, I'm at 140 and very depressed about it.
I doubt very much its the lack of meds that have caused your weight gain, well I suppose indirectly, I would assume it to be depression. You will probably begin to lose once you seek treatment again. Hopefully that works for me as well.
I was never a purger, (I HATE to vomit, almost a phobia) but I nearly starved myself to death over the course of a year. Ended up with ulcers, reduced heart rate, hemmoroids you name it. Messed up my body badly. Still the only way I can diet is to cut myself to one small meal a day. I'm sure I should be in some kind of therapy for that as well. Not a particularly healthy to lose weight.
I'm a stress eater so I've done alot of that lately. Holidays are stressful for most of us and the feasting sure doesn't help either. Thank heavens the holidays are over and we can get back to normal again. That may help as well.
I would try to get back into treatment quickly, I'm sure the weight issue will resolve itself once the depression begins to abate.
Good luck and God Bless
Post Edited (Ellie 1) : 12/28/2005 10:12:35 AM (GMT-7)