I have suffered from depression sence I was a teenager but it always comes in phases. When I am feeling well I always have it in the back of my mind that the ball is about too drop because about every 6 months I relapse back into a state of depression after being ok for a time. It's been July sence I have had any depression symptoms but when they come they are like life ending, don't even want to wake up in the morning, crippling. I think I may also be having some manic episodes but I am not exactly sure what makes you "manic". I have herd very extreme cases like people seeing houlisinations. I was wondering if there is a degree of "manic" like mild, moderate, and severe or if it is always a few same symptoms. I have had depression and I know there is a pattern similar to bi-polar. I havn't gone to a doctor simply because I diagnosed and treated my self with research and St. Johns Wart which works well for me. I occasionally have, what I never knew were mild panic attacks, when remembering stressful times or situations. And there are some other things I am concerned with that have been with me my whole life and I never knew could be "manic" behaviors. Once I got out of a relationship and I made a whole scheme to pick up and move to a diffrent state and just got on a greyhound thinking my life would suddenly be wonderful exc.. and of course things didnt work out that way. Sence I was a child I have checked the closet of any room I enter in to make sure there is no in miding inside exc. Does this sound manic. And if so how to I make these behaviors stop. I have always lived with them, knowing in the back of my mind that they wern't normal things to do, but always just thought I had an overactive imagination.