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Battle Bipolar Disorder,anxiety,almost blind in 1eye,fybromyalgia,sciatic neuropathy,eragant fiance'
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Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 5
Posted 2/6/2006 5:46 PM (GMT -7)
I have been battling Bipolar II disorder for 11 years now, I have had many ups and downs, the past 3 yrs my health has botten work, diagnoised with fybromyalgia, sciatic neuropathy, and the past 3 mths I have developed arthritis in my left eye.
I had been stable on my meds for my Bipolar Disorder but the put me on prdnisone to try and get my eye to heal up, needless to say the prednisone did not interact with my other meds at all.
After going at it with my fiances 12 yrs old and her beating the crap out of my I was took in to custody and put in the hospital.
I had gotten to the point where my fiance's daughter made me feel like I didn't even need to be around any more.
I was being cussed at and I can really handle the cussing but not when GD is used.
I get out of the hospital and my fiance' starts asking questions, I told him I wasn't ready to say what all happened.
Then Thursday of last week I told him. He told me I hadn't been the same for a long time. My biological mother had moved in and I had custody of my nephew for 2 1/2 years.
I went from weighing 99lbs to 185 lbs. and my fiance says I haven't been the same for almost 4 years now, He has told me he loves me no matter what and then I asked him you stated you love me no matter what but then you turn around and tell me after I get out of the hospital that I needed more help wanted to hire a babysitter for me. I was blown away, I said to him why have you lied to me then for 4 yrs. Tellin g me you loved me for who I am and didn't matter what my weight was. And understood the Bipolar Disorder. I stated why have you lied to me all these years. He said my size didn't matter but then comes out of his mouth why can't you weigh 99-120 lbs again. You need help, And he procedes to tell me this order things go in his life. 1st his kids, 2nd his job, 3rd me. I was lost.
I have put 7yrs of my life trying to make a relationship with him and now I feel so insecure, so many things racing in my mind. Wondering what do I do next. I have contemplated about
leaving and see if he could afford to keep his house.
I took over payments 6 yrs ago, he was almost near a forclosure. I wonder if I had lost my mind, I am angry, confused, lost, heartbroken, and feel worthless. I am trying to play his little game and act like everything is ok, until I can figure out what I need to do or want to do. I love him dearly we have been together since the day we met. I know I have been rambling I am just lost. I am
open for any advice, comments, anything at this point.
Post Edited By Moderator (Ellie 1) : 2/6/2006 9:14:49 PM (GMT-7)
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Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
Posted 2/6/2006 9:23 PM (GMT -7)
It's always difficult with blended families, Puma Turtle. I'm so sorry this is causing you such heartache. It sounds as though you are feeling very depressed about
your weight gain as well.
You may want to inform your fiance that many of the drugs used to treat bipolar cause weight gain. This is a very common issue. And while not impossible, still quite difficult to resolve.
Since your hospital stay have they changed your meds? Sometimes that can be unsettling. I would suggest a call to your pdoc to let him know how bad you're feeling. It's difficult enough to deal with this disorder but to do it in a situation where you are feeling unsupported is miserable. Your meds may need adjusting or your doctor may suggest counseling to deal with the home situation.
You'll be in my prayers
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
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