So, I have not had a manic episode in about 3 years. Which is really good because I can live a normal life. However, sometimes I wonder if even normal emotions really do seem normal. I guess I do try to be careful with my stress levels because poorly managed stress can flare up symptoms.
Yesterday, I had a really bad day. I was at college for about 5 hours working on a project that I still had not finished. Then as I was leaving I went to see my professor to get the results of my tests. I had gotten an A on another test in the same program, so I was expecting a good grade on this one too. I found out that I had gotten what normally would have been a C, but it is technically failing in this program. I was not prepared to hear that I failed an exam.
In the teachers office I handled it alright. I merly said that I should have been better prepared, and that I would study more for the next exam. However, when I talked to a friend in the hallway I started crying. I wondered if I was having some sort of breakdown, and if it was normal. Then another friend who had also failed the exam came out, and she was crying too. She had cried in the professors office because she was so upset about failing. Somehow seeing someone else have a similar reaction reaffirmed that what I was going through was normal. It seems strange that I am so careful about my emotions. I feel like I have to watch out because I don't want any emotions to get out of hand.