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Jade11
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 105
   Posted 2/9/2006 3:25 PM (GMT -7)   
I recently have felt like telling two of my friends that I have bipolar disorder.  I have only known them since September but we are already very close.  I don't know if it really is a good idea though.  I am afriad that they might think of me differently if I tell them.
 
The doctor and some family members are the only ones I talk to about my illness.  It would be nice to have some other support and friends to talk to about it.  Bipolar disoder is a huge part of my life.  Most of the time I think it is something that should be kept hidden.
 
 I just wonder if I should wait to tell them until we have known each other longer.  Also, every friend that I told about my disorder, is basically no longer a friend anymore.  It might not necessarily be because I told them I have bipolar disorder.  Although I can't help but wonder that was a factor in the friendship ending.  So, lately I have been extremely cautious about who I tell that I have bipolar disorder.  Part of me is saying to continue to be cautious, but another part of me wants to tell my friends.  Maybe friendship should just be reserved for having fun, and not for telling personal things.

Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 2/9/2006 4:23 PM (GMT -7)   
I too am extremely careful who I confide in concerning my disorder. Many people carry misconceptions of MI. We live in a world that is intolerant of imperfections, especially the ones it concieves as weakness of a lack of self disipline because it can't be proven with a blood test or x-ray. People tend to shy away from what they don't understand. I've even kept my diagnosis from most of my family.
Who you trust is a very personal decision. It's a risk, but if the support and understanding are there, it might be one worth taking.
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
Unknown
 
 

Rico6792
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 2/21/2006 3:33 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Jade,

The day I was officially diagnosed, I called all of my family members. That would be 3 brothers and 3 sisters and my Mom. Unfortunately, not one of them has called me to ask how I was doing - pretty sad dealing with this solo. My goal is to educate them, share books with them etc....otherwise they will never get a clear understanding of the disorder. I have told three friends whom I have known for a minimum of 5 years and have asked for confidentiality. In other words, I trust them. As far as the career goes, I don't plan on telling them due to fear of ruining my professional career. Bi-polar is still a scary word with much stigma attached to it.

One thing I keep telling myself is that it's not my fault and it is treatable. Hopefully, this helps.

Rico

Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 2/21/2006 4:00 PM (GMT -7)   
It is treatable, in much the same way that you would treat a diabetic with insulin. We can live normal lives if we take good care of ourselves. I myself, haven't been very good at thaat up to now but thats quickly changing.
I'm glad you have people lyou can trust. Hopefully your fmaily comes around soon.
Ellie
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
Unknown
 
 

els
Veteran Member


Date Joined Oct 2005
Total Posts : 4031
   Posted 2/22/2006 9:10 AM (GMT -7)   
Rico,  I understand what you mean with your family.  My boyfriend has bipolar and his brother and sister totally shut him out of everything because of his illness.  His mother preaches to them not to treat him any different be she herself treats him like a child.  He allows it because he likes the attention from her (he is the middle child) and always felt a little left out when he was growing up.  The only one who doesn't treat him any different is his father who ignores him just as much as he always did.  People are weird when it come to any kind of mental illness.

~elisha
 


Boomer1
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 2/22/2006 12:52 PM (GMT -7)   
 JADE11
 From my experience being a recovering drug addict, with bouts of clean time in the past ---
I cannot recall one person who turned on me because I fell into the world of prescription drugs...
this includes potential boyfriend's or friends in general. This surprised me, even with friends/boyfriends in the past that I am currently in contact with over the net. Everyone is
understanding and encouraging. I am stabilizing on meds for bi polar and ADD. The ADD part
was easier to accept for me, I did not want to accept that I had ALL these things wrong even
though they all coincide and have direct links to one another. But like someone said --- I think
it was Ellie, that a diabetic must take his insulin or else... modern day does not have the stigmas
of mental illness as in my aunt's younger days -- as she is a carbon copy of me in the brain.
Do not be scared to share, if people could accept me -- especially the addict and NOT judge,
I am confident that if your friends are the real deal, they will support you even more!!
 
Best Wishes....
Boomer1 AKA Lori

Jade11
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 105
   Posted 2/23/2006 9:51 AM (GMT -7)   
 
I am still considering telling my friends.  One friend I basically tell her everything, but I still have not told her about the bipolar.  It seems weird because other people can talk about other really personal things.  Other woman talk about how things like they got pregnant at a young age, or did drugs/alcohol, or were in bad relationships etc.  These were things that happened, that they could control.  I had no control over having bipolar disorder yet I can't talk about it. 
 
I geuss I am all too aware of the stigma's and what other people say.  I may be afraid that they will treat me different if they knew.  I know that my own Mother treats me completely different than her other kids because I have bipolar.  She does not mean to, but she does it all the same.  I have only known my friends for about 7 months, so I might wait a little bit longer to say anything.  I can say that it feels like I have known them much longer.  From their personalities I really don't think they would be judgemental.  I geuss I will see if the time feels right to say anything.
 
 
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