I hope you are feeling better soon. As Ellie has very wisely said, please talk to your doctor. You have a right to be alive. Please dont feel as if you dont. I have Bipolar type 2 myself and the depressive episodes are a reallly . I can only speak from my own experience off the one time I decided to take myself off meds because I felt they were making the depression worse. Whaoh nellie! Never again. Here I was thinking they weren't doing much if anything, but when they wore off and the withdrawals hit, it threw me into probably the worst depressive episode I've had in years. I was down for a month, didn't want to know anyone or anything and basically went into hibernation.
Please if you are getting thoughts of not wanting to be here anymore, call you ER and go in. I had to do this and as frightening as it was it helped a great deal. Do you have family, freinds ect that can support you as well? please keep in contact and let us know how you are coping
(((((((( HUUUGGGZZZ ))))))))
"Bipolar Rule Numero Uno: When its good its very very good but when its bad its HORRID"