New to board...Need relationship suggestions

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lil_leah
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 2/20/2006 1:26 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi all....My name is Leah (31) and I am currently living with my boyfriend (32) who was dx while living with his wife about 2 years ago. He had a really bad time with self medicating with drugs and alcohol. This was the demise of his marriage. 6 months later we met and were pretty much unseperable (sp?). In the last year and a half we have gone through ALOT. We live together with my son (5), while his son (6) is back with his wife (not divorced yet!!!!!) He is coming out of a slump, as the holidays can bring anyone down, more so to those with BP. His doc has recently Rx abilify. It is bringing him back up, but my fear is that he will throw him into mania. His confidence is over the top at times and im afriad with his boredom in our realtionship, he will stray. He has taken to talking to his receptionist and I have huge problem with him "escaping" with her.
 
I know this is extremely vague and skipping alot. Basically I want to hear what its like to be in a relationship with a BP person or being the one Rx. 
 
I have read lots of posts and Im grateful for everyone sharing their experiences.  I can relate at times to being on both sides of the coin. I have not been Rx, but wonder if I myself dont have swings more than the average person but less than I have heard. I am also good for denial, so who knows?!?
 
Just today I foud a family counselor and hope to mend and strenghthen our relationship as well as give him a safe place to confide and vent. (as opposed to the receptionist ) I hope that it helps.
 
Thank you for listeing to me ~ Leah

Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 2/20/2006 3:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello Leah, and welcome to the group!
I think family counseling is an absolutely wonderful idea. Its good to see you aren't sitting back watching the world crumble around you but forging ahead and working to take care of the problem. Often those dx with BP don't even see the problem.
I'm also on abilify. In the beginning I thought it was pushing me WAYYY too far up the spectrum, but it seems to be evening out now. If he is new to the drug there may be an adjustment period.
It sounds like you've had it pretty rough this last year. I hope seeing the counselor helps to mend your family.

Again Welcome and God Bless
Ellie
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
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lil_leah
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 2/20/2006 4:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for your warm welcome. You have no idea how much I needed it...ok, maybe you do! It is very reassuring to know that he may go a little too high to even out eventually. Everything I am reading sounds like this may be a good one for him. I am so happy to know he wont be so down. Now if I can just get the trust thing back...sigh

~Leah

Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 2/20/2006 7:20 PM (GMT -7)   
Yep, thats the hard part. Bp's in a manic stage can do some wild impulsive things. I'm guilty of much the same. Granted mine didn't include relationship issues, but I get wild with money. Just spend it till its gone. Left myself in quite a mess on more than one occasion.
Good luck to you hon.
Ellie
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
Unknown
 
 

Rico6792
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 2/23/2006 9:56 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Lil_leah,

I'm a newbie as well.

Your boyfriend is a very lucky man to have you in his life. My girlfriend couldn't deal with it and she is gone. I don't blame her, she had to deal with some crazy things when the Welbutrin screwed me all up. I often wonder if I should seek out and date only people with BP? Good luck and god bless!

lil_leah
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 2/23/2006 3:29 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you Rico,

I am trying very hard to find the patience at this time. I wonder if you would help me with how your relationship transpired. Did it start of whirlwind like and the excitement die? HAHA (thats my world now.) What crazy things happened?

SeaHTuon
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 2/23/2006 4:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Hello,

My name is Susan. My husband is BiPolar and doing really well at the moment. Although it's no where near perfect, it's the best it has ever been. Oddly enough my husband started to show signs of bipolar shortly after I moved in with him. Over the years, life has been rough. I wasn't until we got married last year that things really truely started to improve. I have noticed he and I are far more connected and commited to this relationship that I ever thought possible. It also helped that I covered him under my insurance and he has now moved to a new doctor and things are going wonderfully and he trusts his doctor greatly.

Feel free to pm or question me at any time :)

Also We together have started to read, "Loving someone with Bi-polar" It is actually a very interesting book. Although over the years I have learned so much already about the illness that much I already know, it puts some of the smaller pieces into place.

Susan.

Rico6792
New Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 2/23/2006 4:41 PM (GMT -7)   
Lil_leah,

Well, I will certainly try. Right to the point - she didn't have time to deal with my needs. When I needed to talk about something, it had to be right then or I made a mountain out of a mole hill. She didn't appreciate that, however, it wasn't the only reason. Please remember that I am very recently diagnosed and I have all sorts of negative thoughts in my brain. I was confused, scared, angry, depressed, anxious, paranoid etc..... The need to "talk" was overwhelming because I felt I had no one to listen and was applying all that pressure on her. This is the "I am useless; worthless; pity me; nobody friggin cares" part. So, naturally (OR NOT), I was extremely agitated that she wasn't there to lend an ear at a moments notice. That puts the other person in a difficult situation and I understand why she made the decision she made. Some of the other things that happened, shall I say, I'm not proud of and can't bring myself to share with the entire forum. On a different note, changed meds today, am taking 15MG of Zyprexa and 100 MG of Lamictal. I'll let you know how that helps with my moods after 4-6 weeks and as long as I don't get a severe rash (potential side effect from Lamictal). Let me know if this helpful. If not, I can be quiet too---:)

Susan,

Your husband is a lucky man as well.

Rico
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