Ashley, After all that you have been through I think it is wonderful that you have been able to find someone that you love so much and that loves you back that way that you need and deserve to be loved. Trust me that is very rare and if you have that dont second analyze it just be grateful for it. I grew up in a situation much like yours, physically and sexually abused by my stepfather for years. I have dealt with low self esteem for a long time. I was always asking myself "why would they want to be my friend or he want to go out with me" or thinking I'm too fat when I weigh 110 pounds and starving myself. I always thought I was not good enough or didn't deserve to have anyones love and attention because I was taught that. With a lot of years of therapy and antidepressants and my own education in the psychiatric field working with people, girls just like me I realized I did matter and deserved a whole lot more than I was giving myself credit for. As long as I kept up that mentality my stepfather who I had not seen since I was 11 yrs old still controlled my life and emotions. I couldnt and wouldn't let him have that much power over me anymore, wither he knew it or not, I did. You are a beautiful person and have the chance to start a whole new life. It is whatever you want to make it. You have the loving support of a wonderful husband. It sounds like he believes in you and what you can do, now you just have too.
I dont have Borderline Personality Disorder but I have this website that you can look at and determine if it sounds familiar to you. BPD and Bipolar are vastly different illnesses. BPD is a much more volatile illness and people with this have extreme problems keeping relationships. If you really feel that you have this talk to your doctor and see what he says....Take care
Cats are like potato chips ~ you can't have just one