tired and lonely,
I think the word "attention" has several meanings that we don't apply. Even medical doctors in emergency rooms don't understand how that word should be used. i.e. She overdosed because she wanted attention. OK, Yes, You're right, I want attention. When the military officer walks in the room, everyone stands to attention. Why? Because he deserves attention. Is he showing off? playing games? no, he deserves it and that's what he gets. You are saying, I believe I am worth listening to, I hurt, I don't know how to tell anyone. When I hurt myself, I don't necessarily want to die, but, if I had, that sure would have definitely gotten their attention. No. You are not a 4 yr old constantly interrupting your mother or jumping on the sofa so everyone will look at you. You don't want people to look at you and shrug you off as an attention seeker, you want help and support. And right now, that is the only way you know how to yell for it.
Sure, once we have calmed down, we can go in for therapy and learn all the lingo: "dissociative", "borderline", "depersonalization", "coping skills", "contract for safety". Sure, we can learn all the catchy phrases, and we'll be able to talk to the pdoc like an old pro. But for now, you work with what you have. And unfortunately, the English language doesn't have a better phrase than the old worn out, "they're just doing it for attention".
Sorry I rambled. It's just that one time, I was so upset when I came to in the ER from a failed sui*&de attempt, because I overheard the doctor say to just ignore me because I didn't take a lethal dose of the drugs, so I was just doing it for attention. I just laid there and cried. No one understood, not even a doctor, how much I hurt. And that hurt even worse.
Do what you have to do until you get the help and support you need. Please, without hurting yourself or others. Take care, sorry I rambled. -denise
American by birth, Northerner by the grace of God.
The South didn't lose, they gave up ...
Get over it, the South ain't gonna rise again.
Proud to be a West Virginia Yankee.