I am 24 and have been married for a year and a half to a man that is ten years older. I have always known that there is something wrong with him, but I have been attributing it to his alcoholism. I recently spoke to his father regarding are failing marriage and asking for advice as to what I should do. He then proceeded to tell me for the first time that my husbands mother has manic depression and his father is concerned that is what is going on with my husband. He has the mood swings, withdrawl from family and friends, alcoholism, serious anger issues, over confidence to the point of arrogance, refusal to go to the doctor, extreme jealousy, he eats only sporadically, he lies, makes excuses to get out of social situations, has irrational and irresponsible behavior (Like getting a DUI not dealing with it and then driving without a drivers license for ten years, while driving my car and others while lying about having a license), he ignores all responsibility for the negative things that have happened to him and blames everyone else. He is in complete denial about his problems and blames me for everything. He is unwilling to go to therapy or go to a doctor to get checked out. Our relationship has been rocky at best since the beginning, and I am at the point where I don't think I can take it any longer. He is emotionally abusive towards me and his anger is starting to get more physical. With the alcoholism he loses control.
My problem comes with how to deal with the revelation that my husband may be acting this way because of a medical condition. His father wants to plan an intervention to force him to recognize that he can't continue and needs help and medication. I want to be supportive of him, but after everything he has put me through I am not sure how much more I can take. I am more than willing to be there for him to help him through this, but I don't know if I can do this as his wife. We don't have any kids, thankfully, but it was always are plan, and I don't want kids with him knowing that they could inherit his disease. This sounds selfish to me, but I can't keep giving without getting anything in return. I used to be a super happy and smily person, but dealing with him daily has brought me down emotionally and he is starting to break me. Even though I have a good job and am working towards my Master's degree, he constantly tells me I am stupid and immature because I am younger than him. I couldn't possibly have any advice for him because I haven't experienced life enough to tell him how he is doing it wrong. I don't know how to reach him. I am concerned that an intervention will push him further away from me and his family. I have been scared to leave him in fear of what he would do to himself or me. Does anyone have any advice as to how my family and I should approach him regarding treatment. Does intervention work with manic depression? I want to help him but I just don't know how when he is in denial.