I didn't take my lithium last night and this morning I was verging on hypomanic. It didn't last long, but everything had that glow on it for a bit. work did that in.
Towards the end of work my pdocs nurse called and talked to me about an email I sent to the therapist who in-taked me. I didn't want this doc to know about my history of substance abuse but she told him. It was right that she did it, but I wish she wouldn't have. Now I have to spend more money on an assessment.
I think I mentioned this earlier, but the doc talked about putting me on something like Adderall or Ritalin to keep me awake and help me concentrate. I didn't like that at first, not because of my history, but because of my upbringing; My mom always talked down about these meds. Not that she didn't think they had their place, but it definitely wasn't in me, or most of the kids that had them.
Well, now I have to go in for an AODA assessment and later take some tests (what sort of tests do they do besides UAs?) In the meantime though, I'm getting put on Concerta. That confuses me. It's gonna be almost two months before I see the AODA guy, and they're putting me on long acting ritalin? I thought they'd put me on a non-stimulant ADD med like Strattera. That keeps you awake during the day, right? I don't know much about it besides its a SNRI. Oh well, I never abused medications like this and have no intent to. I took something like it once to help me study. Never sat so still in my life. If I didn't know that it was, I would never have guessed it was a drug of abuse.
Unfortunately my doctor is in a town 30 minutes or so away, and my schedule is so complicated so I have to wait for it to get mailed to the pharmacy. Though if it got in the mail today, it could mebbe be there tommorow.
I had talking to new people about my drug abuse. Its so degrading. I know I messed up before, thats why I don't do that stuff anymore. But its hard to get out of my present because they always want to bring it up. I know its relevant, and I've been honest, but making me pay another 75 dollars for this crap is even more annoying.
I don't know why this is titled happy days. I'm in a good mood doing some writing, gotta get some poetry for a class. I'm happy that he's gonna try me on concerta, but i wish there was a generic version. I gotta stay awake at school. I fell asleep twice at work today :( good thing nobody caught me. Concerta ought to help me pay attention and take notes. I'm a little afraid of the dose though. They're starting me at 15 or something, then putting it up to 36 (32?). That seems like an aweful lot, but I don't know anything about this med.
Sorry this is so rambly. I feel a pretty sick from quitting methadone (for legitimate pain.. always gotta clarify). But i'm not having any problems doing it. 3 days without a dose and no real sickness, and despite my fears, I'm having no cravings! That was my real fear.
Anyway, I hope you're all having stable days.