Post Edited (Twiggy2) : 4/20/2006 11:49:10 AM (GMT-6)
Hi there. I've put these things into practice lot's and sometimes it just doesn't matter, I blow. That's the worst part of this disorder.....letting it affect my parenting and therefore my children. I was in really bad shape a little while ago (mixed state) and was so worried for my kids especially cause March break was coming. I posted on here and got tons of support. One thing I find that helps is when I blow my top and start yelling once I cool off I apologize to my kids. Mine are only 5 and 7. They appreciate my apologies and it lets them know I'm not perfect. I've also tried to be open with them and explain that something is wrong with mommy and I'm trying to get help so when I scream like that maybe they could cool it with their fighting because mommy is having one of her bad days. So far it hasn't completely worked but it's let them know that it isn't their fault I have outbursts.
I just started lamotrigine (lamictal). I'm only on 25 mg a day so far but I go up later this week. I think it has already made a bit of a difference and I'm praying it's not just a placebo effect (felt similiar on buspar but it quit after a few weeks). I just got diagnosed last month although I've had this since I was 14 but it has really changed and escalated in the past few years. I don't get normal mania but feel like I'm going out of my mind with agitation, irritation, anxiety, etc. I finally wrote a letter to my dr. outlining how I feel and my past history plus my family history. She figured it out and sent me to pdoc. It sounds weird but I was soooo happy to be diagnosed because I finally know there is a reason the way I am and I'm not just a bad person sometimes, and also that I am getting proper meds (I've tried SSRI's and the results weren't good). So, I wish you luck. Try not to be too hard on yourself. Take care.