please help/mania

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mogli
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Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 4/18/2006 6:44 PM (GMT -7)   
 
guys, i am on the verge of tears (and i'm at work)...just to remind you all, i was dx with bp about 2 months ago, so still trying to get the meds straight
 
now on
effexor 150mg
lamictal 75mg
lorazepam 1mg (as needed for panic attacks)
 
alright, i'm so upset right now, here's why.  i am exhausted.  i mean absolutely completely exhausted.  every part of my body right now is aching.  i am on the verge of crying and never stopping.  my panic/anxiety is THROUGH the roof and i feel that i am on the verge of a major breakdown.  but i cannot stress enough the exhaustion i am feeling.  my mind and my body.  i feel like i've never been this exhausted in my life.
 
i have bpII w/rapid cycling (hypomania/depression) and for the last several days, i've been hypomanic...my mind racing, which has caused multiple severe panic attacks each and every day, actually i cannot breathe almost constantly all day.  my muscles are beyond tense, (i can't afford a massage) and my insomnia has robbed me of rest at night.  i do have a TON on my mind, so that just adds fuel to the fire.  there are only 1 or 2 things that i can think of that would help me relax and get some rest and those things arent' possible.
 
how on earth do any of you RELAX or CALM DOWN during these times of hmania?  i just needed to hear some ideas, desperately. 

sad thanks in advance, hugs and support all around

mogs


Ashley C
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 95
   Posted 4/19/2006 2:44 AM (GMT -7)   
I wish you luck! I know how you feel, and I have been very tense like that during mania...but I am mainly uncontrolably hyper. To tell you the truth, nothing really helps me when I am manic. It normally takes its toll and goes away in a few hours or later in the day. The best advice I can give is try to hang in there and talk to your doc. If you have been feeling really bad, then you may need to have your meds adjusted! I wish you luck and I hope you begin to feel better, hopefully your doc can help!

mogli
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Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 4/19/2006 4:48 PM (GMT -7)   
please help me guys, i'm desperate for some feedback on this...are there any ways to cope through this hmania....i need some advice on how to calm down.....please, i feel like i'm going a thousand miles a minute and i'm exhausted....
thanks ashleyC, so much for your reply, i'm sure it will pass eventually but i honestly can't go on like this
 
mogs
 

mommasox
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 4/19/2006 4:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Ok mogs...I know exactly where you have been as I am sure many of us have, I know that usually you have to wait for these episodes to pass but one thing that helps me calm down to at least feel a slight grip on reality is .....
if you can find a quiet place go there and either sit or lie down ( if possible) and just start to take deep breaths....in through your nose and out your mouth...and start concentrating on just those breaths...slow and steady....start to realize what your body is feeling during the breath...the way your lungs move.....just easy in and out....in and out.....nothing else matters but the air your breathing and how your breathing it....just do this until you feel some calmness and just try to stay slow, steady and calm.
I hope it works!
 
~TRish

SMSIRL
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Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 1061
   Posted 4/19/2006 4:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Wherever you are resting make sure there are no TV etc. Stimulus like this feeds the mania, beter as mommasox says find a still place. Try keep your bedroom for sleep and not for studying, reading etc.

mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 4/20/2006 8:10 AM (GMT -7)   
thanks guys so much for your help.  i really appreciate it.  this hypomania is killing me.  i'm exhausted...it's just the having to go to work with this all and try to manage eveyrthing else, it's so hard, i know all of you understand, thank God for that because no one else does.
 
things just never seem to be normal or calm.  i am desperate for calmness.  since i was diagnosed  2 months ago, it's been trying (to say the least) to get my meds under control and i know i have a long way to go.  the whole goal is to try to get "stable" and i'm honestly just not up for this battle anymore.  i'm not.  i'm not up to trying all these meds, trying to get the right one, the right dose.  i'm not up for these ups and downs anymore.  i can't handle this anymore.  i can't.
 
it feels so hopeless.  this whole week it's been such a........................for lack of a better word, MESS.  i feel like i've been depressed and Hmanic all at the same time.  i guess that's the rapid cycling, right?
 
anyway, i'm trying to rest and slow down.  i agree with all of your advice.  i just need to take care of myself, and surround myself with peace and quiet.  the breathing is something i'm definitely going to do, thanks trish.
 
thanks to all of you,
hugs and support all around, always.
 
mogs sad

mommasox
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 4/20/2006 9:31 AM (GMT -7)   
anytime mogs....hope we helped...hang in there...if you ever need anything just post or my email is under my profile.
Take care!!!
 
~trish smurf

hammilton
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 152
   Posted 4/20/2006 12:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Exhaustion isn't normal during any sort of mania.  Neither are tears and stressful feelings (definitely not the way you describe them).  You sound like you're in a mixed episode.  I'd call a doc ASAP.
 
Hammilton

mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 4/20/2006 1:26 PM (GMT -7)   
hammilton
i have talked to my doc a few different times re my hmania and how it makes me sick, exhausted and emotional...not during my times of hmania, but when i come "down" from it...i get upset, and exhausted from being hypomanic...i'm sure a lot of bp patients feel tired from hmania...
i've expressed this to my doctor and he has been able to empathize with me and verify my symptoms
hope all is okay with you

MrsMacD
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 117
   Posted 4/21/2006 6:16 AM (GMT -7)   
I don't usually come to this site, but something said "check it out". I am curious, did this hmania start before you started meds or after. The reason I ask is that perhaps it could be a reaction to the meds you are taking or the combination. I do not have BP. I have fibro and one time the doc gave me an antidepressive as part of treatment. Well, it was great for the first couple of weeks then I went "crazy". I was crying all the time and literally became someone else. I even went as far as becoming EXTREMELY suicidal. This type of behavior has never been me ever under any stressful situation ever. I attributed it all to that med and immediately went back to the doc to get off of it. I had results right away. All that craziness left me. That's why I am thinking it quite possibly could be the meds you are on right now. Not that you may have to increase, but may be some sort of bad reaction to them. I say as an objective view reading what you have explained is happening inside you. I hope you get better really soon. Best wishes!!!
Susan
 


mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 4/21/2006 9:41 AM (GMT -7)   

thanks so much for your kind reply susan.  my hmanic/rapid cycling started before the meds, has been going on for a couple years.  but i totally understand what happnd to you.  6 years ago when i was first dx with clinical deprssn i was put on paxil and it made me feel on the edge of suicide and a lot of medication can make you feel edgy and emotional.  so it's my conclusion that this med combination is just not working for me at all and me and my doc are going to have to make some more adjustments, unfortunately.

i hope all goes well with you, again thanks for your well wishes, it means a lot.


hammilton
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 152
   Posted 4/23/2006 1:54 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm just a little confused. Feeling exhausted *after* hypomania is normal, as is alternating to a depression. If what you described as being a post-hypomania "crash" that'd be completely normal, but you had asked how to calm down during hypomania (to paraphrase), which confused (and continues to confuse) me.

So, you were saying that that was how you felt post hypomania and wanted to know what to do during the hypomania so that you wouldn't crash so hard? Best thing I could suggest in that case would be to work on some centering activities. But if you're cycling, your meds probably aren't working. If I understand correctly, you seem to be describing a post-mania depression, an extremely common occurence. I don't think that the hypomania is causing symptoms any more than my last depression caused me to build up energy and become mania. I've come down from psychoticly high manias and not "crashed" until weeks later. Its tempting to look at depression following hypo/mania in the same sense that we view stimulant abusers crashing (or even those who aren't using them recreationally, as I'm unfortunately learning). Hypomania doesn't deplete the brain of neurotransmitters the way the stimulant use does, and as such doesn't neccessitate a crash like stimulant cessation does. If you're sleeping well and other factors controlled for, it sounds like a mild depression. This is all assuming I'm understanding you correctly.

If, however, thats how you're feeling during a hypomania, well that doesn't make any sense. Those are simply not symptoms of hypomania, and directly contradict the DSM. Probably could meet the diagnostic criteria for a mixed episode, though.

Hammilton

ForTheWorst
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 4/24/2006 7:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Mogs,

Just a suggestion to go along with mommasox's & SMSIRL's suggestions, you might want to check out your local library and borrow some relaxation cd's/dvd's/vhs' to help guide your mind while trying to calm down. I like to listen to nature cd's specifically water sounds. I borrowed a great cd from the library called "Waterscapes" it was so peaceful to listen to and really helped me to relax. I use to have trouble sleeping as well so I borrowed a dvd called "Guided Relaxation for Sleep" and it was awesome. I watched it sometimes just to relax! You could also borrow dvd's on yoga, the stretches might help with your body aches and the meditation aspects of yoga will help you to relax. When I was having panic attacks massage's really helped me but at the time I had benefits that covered it so now I just do stretches which really helps losen tense muscles - not as good as a massage but you'll be suprised how much it helps. Also my heating pad has become my best friend! Hope you get some R&R soon and in the mean time just remember to breath!!!

Emily a.k.a OhSoSad

mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 4/25/2006 9:59 AM (GMT -7)   
Emily
I cannot thank you enough for your reply.  It was extremely comforting to read.  I am so exhausted. 
I am definitely having the hardest time relaxing.  After reading your reply, I decided I am going to put everything into doing all of the things that you suggested.  I have relaxing CDs, I may buy some more, and I have an excellent Stress Management book with stretching exercises in it.  I am going to commit to stretching, listening to the relaxing music AND to start breathing throughout my day as much as I can.  I DO know how to do deep breathing, and it's time I start doing it as much as I can.
I don't know if anyone esle feels this way, but during these hmanic episodes or mixed states, I almost would give anything to be depressed.  That's how awful I feel during these mild highs.  I have had the worst depressive episodes, and I know how terrible they are and can be, but to be "lower" than I am now would be a relief.  It's funny I thought I was supposed to feel the other way around.
But I don't.  I HATE hmania/mixed states.  I'm not sleeping, I feel like I'm going a million miles a minute and I can't stand it.
Anyway, thanks again Emily.
 
Much love and support.

ForTheWorst
Regular Member


Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 4/25/2006 12:43 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi Mogs,

I'm glad my post brought you some comfort! :-) Just hang in there and remember that your hmania will pass and in the mean time try to focus as much as you can on getting some rest when you have the time, I know your busy!  You made me laugh when you said you thought it was supposed to be the other way around regarding highs and lows and what most would prefer. I've had this conversation before with others and they said they prefered the highs as well which I didn't understand but I don't have a preference I hate either!  I just want to feel like myself and be stable.  I feel completely out of my mind in either state and can't stand it!  I've actually only had one episode in which I was in a mixed state and it was extremely painful.  I'm terrified of relasping, I never want to experience feeling that way again! sad I will keep you in my prayers and pray that your treatment stabilizes you soon.  I believe I read earlier that you were diagnosed recently and I know it can take some time to find the right medication for you so hang in there and try to be patient.  I've been on 8 different medications since I was hospitalized (not all at the same time but at one time I was on 5) and now I am only on 2 med's - Wellbutrin 200 mg & Topamax 100mg.  I recently weaned myself off of the sleep aid I was taking Imovane but ocassionally I will take 1/2 a pill if I'm having trouble sleeping.  Are you taking a sleep aid?  If not you should think about it, it really helped me and my doc. had to talk me into taking them because I didn't want to because they can be addicting but I was suprised how easy it was to wean off of them.  It only took me two weeks to stop taking them after taking them for almost a year and a half.  Well I hope that the medications you are on right now work for you and that you don't have to change your treatment as much as I did but if it ends up that some of your med's do need to change please don't get discouraged.  I know it can't be easy to be going to work in your condition while receiving treatment and if your treatment ends up changing it kind of sends you on a rollar coaster ride and that's the last thing you want I'm sure.  Just remember in the end it will be worth it and you will get there, you just have to find the right "cocktail" (is what I like to call it) for you! tongue

Emily


mogli
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 1191
   Posted 4/25/2006 6:52 PM (GMT -7)   
Again Emily,
 
THANK YOU so much for your help.  Honestly.  Needless to say I am at my wits end right now, and you completely understand and that is a comfort that I cannot even begin to express.
 
You are right, my dx was very recent.  I do feel extremely overwhelmed (and discouraged) b/c although I am somewhat new to bp I know the battle derpession and anxiety brings.  I know what I am facing.  I am now more terrified than ever, b/c even though I am trying to research this illness, I am constantly confronted with the hurdles I am up against.  For example, the meds.  I know for a FACT that this is going to be something very difficult to get straight.  The combination I am right now is NOT good, and I have an appt with the doc in 2 days. 
 
The best advice I ever got from the pro-help was that in this illness, REST is THE most important thing. No HEALTHY person feels good when they don't get enough rest, and for us, it's even worse.  That is something that I realize for sure.  about 4 months ago I weened off of Trazodone which I was on for 2 years for sleeping and I am telling you Trazodone was the BEST thing that ever happened to me b/c it did help me get the rest that I needed.  With rest, I was feeling well physically and mentally.  So that is something that I am definitely going to mention to the doc on Friday.
 
I also strangely did not feel the addiction to this sleeping aid and weened off of them successfully more than once.
 
Anyway, where I work is BUSY and lots of pressure and of course I can't even mention my illness for accomodation b/c of the stigma, so that just adds to everything.  Anyway, I will try to stay hopeful.  On the plus side, I think I have met the love of my life and we are moving in together soon, and he has been wonderful.
 
And thank you for your prayers, you will be in mine as well.  I cannot tell you how much your words of support have helped me cope.  I am definitely calling the crisis/help line tonite just for some more support.  Sometimes a conv w/ppl who know what we're dealing with is more helpful than anything.
 
Thanks again, take care and if you ever need anything, don't hesitate :-)
 
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