new and lost (long one, sorry)

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Elisabeth417
New Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/27/2006 10:27 AM (GMT -7)   
My name is Elisabeth and I was recently diagnosed with Bi-polar disorder. My symptoms don't seem to match any one diagnosis guide I've found online, and I have a lot of questions.
Before I start, does any one else have a problem with family and friends, the minute you become anything other than a softly smiling zombie, ask you "Are you taking your meds?". This drives me crazy. Yes, I have a tendancy to be over dramatic and over emotional, but does that mean I can never express anger, or dissapointment, or unhappiness again? I just feel like no one is taking me seriously any more. "Oh, she's just bipolar. Ignore her." Is what they're thinking. Anyway.....
I am severly depressed most of the time, but there can be periods during the day lasting anywhere from five minutes to a few hours when I'm manic. Sometimes I'll go weeks without a manic episode. But they never last very long. When my docs thought I was just depressed, they put me on prozac, and I was suddenly manic for about 6 months straight. Of course, I just thought I wasn't depressed any more, but looking back, binge drinking, not sleeping, and promiscuous sex is not my style at all. Is this normal? Does anyone else often look back at behavior from months, days, or hours ago and wonder what they were doing?
I've been on about 10 different drugs so far, and none have seemed to help much. Right now I'm on Prozac, Zoloft, and my 2nd day of lamictal. (of course I'm about going insane, thinking every freckle and itch is THE DEADLY RASH!)
I'm still confused as to which bipolar category I fall into. I show signs of BPI and BPII, can you be both? And what is rapid cycling? There should be a manual. With instructions. And colorfull illustrations.
Basically I have no idea what is going on, and that is very frightening. Can anyone reccommend some good websites or helpful books? Thank you for your time, Elisabeth

whitedog
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 160
   Posted 5/27/2006 1:32 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Elisabeth:
 
Sorry to hear you're having a tough time. 
 
I totally agree with you about the emotion thing--I finally told my hubby that just because I'm BP doesn't mean I don't have 'regular' emotions, opinions and feelings.  At times they may be to one extreme or another depending on what's going on BP=wise, but just the same, they're as real as a 'normal' person's.
 
With the meds, it often just takes time to find the right combo.  Since being on Prozac without a mood stablizer bumped you into mania/hypomania, you can figure that's a good indication that you are bipolar--happens a lot and Pdocs need to be sure BP doesn't run in the family if they're only prescribing an antidepressant.
 
I'm on Lamictal and love it.  I'm assuming you're starting at a very low dose.  I got a slight rash the first week so I went in and had it looked at--nothing serious and went away within a couple of days.  If you have anything, get it checked for your own peace of mind.
 
Besides the slight rash, I had lots of bruising the first couple of month that's since gone away.  I was also unusally clumsy but am now back to my oh so graceful self!!!  Muscle twitching is the only side-effect that's been a problem and then only at doses over 100 mg./day.  Oh, and I also lost 4 or 5 lbs. on it!!
 
Take care.
 
Hayley


lazy
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 241
   Posted 5/27/2006 5:23 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Elizabeth:  I am a newly diagnosed bipolar although have probably been so for most of my life.  My daughter is 32 and has been diagnosed for about 5 years.  She has been the sexually promiscuous route, broken marriage, spent the money, tried all the meds.  I just bankrupted my husband and myself, almost lost my job, made a fool of myself at work,  cried all day today, laughed all day yesterday, been through the racing thoughts, obsessive thoughts, etc.  but other than that...everything is normal!! Whatever normal is.  I have found that the worst part is finding the right meds and waiting for them to work...tick tock tick tock.. that time goes by too slow.  We all seem to be lacking in patience.  I have been to counseling and some suggestions that actually work for me are exercise..when I get to where I can't stand to be in the same room with myself I run, walk, listen to loud music and dance, anything to get my mind off of my mind.  Shopping is out of the question because of my spending habits.  Stereo with earphones are good because the music does drown out the thoughts in my head.  I went to the library and checked out books on bipolar written by bipolars.  Thats all I can offer.  But just know that others do feel your pain is helpful for me.  Don't give up. It does get better.  I'm actually looking forward to going back to work in about a week. Staying busy is my best therapy.
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