Does anyone have the problem, they just dont wanna do ANYTHING, but you DONT feel depressed about it. I stopped school, dont listen to music anymore, stopped Tai Chi, have totally secluded myself from my friends, I cant log onto MSN anymore, but im not having any "down" feeling with it all most of the time, sure I feel down at times, but for the most part it just seems like some mental block, I just feel insane, yet sane to know right from wrong , it is just like some sort of a mental block or something. Something in me says nope dont do that. I used to play bass, was never great, but now im just like bass ? meh. and I get up in the morning and pace up and down the hallway, cause I cant bring myself to "doing" anything... if I try and sit and chill out even if I do feel relaxed it is like every minute feels like an hour, My days seem so frigging long... I wake up at like 5-6am... go to bed around 12-1... When I get up I get really frustrated.. I dont feel "down" but I cant be content with anything... I cant watch t.v, dont feel like being in the kitchen, so I end up going outside every 5 minutes to smoke, I never used to smoke, whacky I started I know, and I HATE IT ! I know when I was younger I was diagnosed with ADD, I sometimes wonder if this is all just a really really bad attention span to the point I cant do anything. Im getting really frustrated with it all. I try to explain to the p-doc how I feel, he says "your depressed" I says... I dont feel depressed. What the hell is wrong with me... can anyone relate to this huge jumbling rant... ahhhh... It is like I cant remember how I used to get through time... There was apoint when I seemed to keep myself busy but now it is like I cant, or I dont want to, and then I get really anxious about it. Ahhhh. The madness. Why cant I just be normal !
im a professional... on an amateur level !