Sister w/ BPD is pregnant...any advice?

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Jezz
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2005
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 7/7/2006 10:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi all,
My 20 year old sister came to live w/ me in January of this year. She has BPD, for which she is medicated. She also has some problems with regression, supposedly, from what the doctors have said. For the first 6 months, she was doing really well, she got her license and got her car on the road and she went out and even got a job. Then she met a guy. And just like all her other relationships, it was rocky from the beginning. He evidently has a lot of issues himself. Within 3 weeks, she had quit her job because the two of them had gotten into a fight and she just had to go see him. Anyway, all that's is beside the point. The point is, she is now two weeks pregnant w/ his child, and because she lives with me, I am caught up in this too. She was only supposed to stay for a little while, at most a year. I'm only 25 myself, and I have a husband, we are newly married and can't afford to support her and a kid. My family is not going to take her in. My mom all but gave up on her as a teenager, and has a husband who is not very understanding or patient, and she's already lived w/ my other sister (who has 3 boys of her own anyway). My father can barely pay his own bills, and my brothers can't handle her moods.
I don't know if this has sunk in to her brain yet. All she can still talk about is "Ted" and how he's being a jerk, and how he is saying this and doing that. And she almost seems happy about this, and I'm wondering if she thinks this will keep them together. I'm just so blown away by all this, I feel so naive. I wanted to believe so badly that she wasn't that bad off and that she could eventually take care of herself on her own. But she's so much worse than I thought. And I don't know what to do. I don't want to give up on her like everyone else eventually does, but I can't take care of her.
If anybody has any advice for me, I'd love to hear it. And I'm particularly interested to see if anyone has had experience w/ group homes. It has been mentioned to my family before, but my sister has always been opposed to it, because she is afraid. If it could be a decent experience for her, then it is possible that I can convince her to try it. But I don't want her to go somewhere that she won't feel safe and happy.
Thanks
Jezz
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