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Gingerlovedalejr
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 56
   Posted 7/23/2006 10:52 AM (GMT -7)   
 
 
                I need to ask a few questions. I have tried to research as much as possible to figure this out.
 
I have a ex-boyfriend(whom I love dearly still and is still my best friend) that has a few major issues and I need to figure out how to get him help.
 
He has severe manic attacks. He acts like a little kid while doing this and talks non-stop and so fast that literally no one can understand. Honestly, though at first this was so much fun because I thought I finally met someone with a little energy and motivation. He's hilarous and so much fun to be around but then he drops...
 
He drops so severe, it scares the crap out of me. He constantly talks about killing himself- Not so much in direct ways but more like "If I can't talk to you anymore than I will just slit my wrist" I thought he was just wanting some sympthay at first and ignored it. One night while after going to a family party. He said that I ignored him and when I wouldn't sit up all night and argue. He came in and said I love you, bye and he had slit his wrist.....of course not to the point where he would die from injuires but he definitely wanted to cause some comotion. He constantly accused me of cheating if I was gone to the store for 5 minutes. He would repeatly call me even if I just left the house to see where I was.
I know this is more than the "jealous" person.
 
I even got him on my insurance under domestic spouse so that he could get help. I've take him to two doctors. He was always in a good mood and make a huge joke out of it when we went so that said "maybe it's just stress" and gave welbutrin. He took this for weeks but got even worse. He was constantly mad at something.
So when we went back the doctor told him effexor usually helps most people. He tried this for over a month. He had no mood then, He wasn't happy nor mad nor sad just blah. He complained of sweating all the time and completely drenching his clothes because of these pills. So he did eventually stop.
 
I had no choice but to leave because I couldn't be in a unhealthy situation especially with my children.
I continue to talk to him almost daily, at first everything was cool but now it's back to calling 17 times in 30 minutes and screaming at me the entire voicemail.
 
I want to help him desperately, He wants helps too (so he says) and I honestly think he is willing to do anything to feel "human" again, but he simply cannot walk in and say "hey Doc, I'm bipolar....hook me up on some meds"
This is actually what he told me he would say lol
 
I want to know what works for most people and what doesn't and if this sounds like someone who is BIPOLAR or something else possibly?
 
I've heard a few things about Lithium....but I don't know if doctors will give this pretty easily without a ton of test to rule other things out. I nor him are looking for fast answers, but some help from ya'll would be greatly appreciated!
 
 

CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 7/23/2006 11:00 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Ginger,

I've no advice, I'm afraid, but wanted to say hi, because I'm dealing with something similar. I've only joined this site recently myself (and am very new to this board -- some other posts in the depression forum), but have found that people are really helpful and know what they're talking about. I'm sure you'll get good advice.

All best,
Rosie

Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 7/23/2006 6:13 PM (GMT -7)   
I know you want to help him, and if he'll go to the dr. thats great. Be very, very careful about bringing him around your children. If he is so unstable that he is flying into fits of rage, that is not a healthy enviornment for kids. You never know when a child may cry, or have a tantrum and it could set him off. Just because it has never happened before doesn't mean it can't.
He sounds manic, but I'm not a dr. and certainly can't diagnose him. Maybe if you let him know you would like to repair your relationship, but not until he had stabilized on meds, it might inspire him to seek treatment.
Take Care
Ellie
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
Unknown
 
 
 


Gingerlovedalejr
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 56
   Posted 7/23/2006 8:23 PM (GMT -7)   
My children haven't went around him since the split. I talk to him on the phone and that's it because truly I never know what to expect from day to day.

I just gotta tell this story real quick.
He bought a very sweet rottweiler from the pound and treats this dog like a princess......well several months after getting the dog, we left the dog in the house because of the rain outside......when I walked into the living room......I said OH my god....She just destroyed the NEW lazyboy chair just bought several days before hand......

He immediately got up and went crazy. I realize being pissed off and definitely spanking her and probably putting her out, but he punched the dog and continue punching her in the stomach (He's 6'4 and 270 pounds, and strong as an ox) Then he started choking her and throw her against the wall.....I was screaming to stop at this point....I had to throw the ashtray at him to quit.....and then I reached up and punched him in the face, I would never do this but I was literally seeing a grown man kill a dog right infront of my eyes. I started immedaitely packing my stuff up and told him that I was calling the humane society about this incident. Of course, He used being sleepy and disoriented for the reason why he did this and that he blanked out and would NEVER ever do this ever again and to please not get rid of the only few things in his life that meant anything to him.....

I know this all sounds really crazy, but please don't get me wrong. I have seen this man be the sweetest man ever. He has waited on my hand and foot when I needed him to. He plays non-stop with the kids and even would help equally with housework....He never physically abused me, but I know this could short follow. I've always tried to take the bad with the good.......but it became more bad than good and that's when I left and I will not go back to that lifestyle. Above all though, I want him to get help for him, not for the possibility of getting back together but because this will benefit him no matter what.

He actually wants to go to counseling, He wants to take medication, I just wanted to see what type of medication has helped others.......zoloft, prozac, lithium, abilify, etc????

Thanks!

Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 7/23/2006 9:34 PM (GMT -7)   
There are alot of different meds and it seems that noone responds identically to any particular drug. Unfortunately, it's alot of trial and error. Many drs. start with lithium because it has been around so long and is very effective much of the time. Depends on the dr. and the symptoms too. With the rage you've described, I truly wouldn't be surprised if the dr. wanted to hospitalize him to get him stable. It sounds like the safest route not just for those around him, but for him as well. It would really be a shame for him to lose control like that with someone and end up in jail instead of getting the help he needs.
Take Care
Ellie
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
Unknown
 
 
 

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