Daughter with odd personality.. bipolar?

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SarahP
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Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 1185
   Posted 8/8/2006 5:08 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi All. I have one child who is 11 who has been diagnosed bipolar. I can relate to her, and "see" the reason for this dx. But my older daughter, who is 13, has one of the strangest personalities I've ever seen. I've been told she's ADD.. but my gosh.. it's one type I've never seen before then. Of course, she was only seen twice for this, so a clear picture was never there for therapist.
She is a child that is very self centered. She wants to stay in her room and have nothing to do with her family most of the time. She sticks her nose into books and is lost to the world. She gets onto the phone with her friends (who number greatly) and she seems totally out of control. Very loud, almost hysterical sounding. Everything to her is a drama.. you cannot speak to her without her snapping that you are "criticizing" her. She can be horribly rude to others, to the point of telling her friends to simply.. "get out".. when asked what they did to annoy her.. she tells them.. I want you to get out of my house NOW. She has NO empathy at all, she can't understand (or maybe doesn't care) others feelings. One minute she is almost 'normal' teenage acting, then the least little thing will be said to her and she flies off the handle. She has a lot of problems sleeping, and tends to stay up late at night. But still manages to get up and make the bus on time. She tested near genuis level on IQ tests a few years ago.. yet almost failed the last two years of school.
A couple of her friends have told her that she is "bipolar" and she was complaining about this to me... and it made me wonder. Could this be the issue? Is any of this familiar?
My other daughter is impulsive, a little odd sometimes, moody. But nowhere near the mood swings that the older one has.
Thanks
Sarah
I'm not procrastinating----I'm still doing yesterday!!!! 
I have no medical training, any medical opinions expressed in my posts are just that....opinions.


Ellie 1
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Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 8/8/2006 7:19 PM (GMT -7)   
She sounds so much like my 21 year old at that age, younger even. I mean, they could be identical twins. Is she bipolar? No telling. My daughter has never been diagnosed as such. She's never really had a clinical depression that I know of, but is EXTREMELY high strung, very moody, self-centered, and will tell you straight up, no tact whatsoever. Bites her nails to the quick. Likes her alone time, and when she found out her boyfriend cheated on her (she did forgive him) she punched him in the face hard enough to split his lip. She is also loving, caring, and a wonderful parent.
She did treat her friends like that. Maybe not the phone thing. She never was much of a phone person. But is also extremely bright. And can be a loner.
She may be bipolar. As it stands, we just consider mine a little eccentric. I"d have your's checked out simply because you've already had problems with this disorder in the family with one of the children, but she may just be a little different. Mine will still read to the exclusion of all else, (she doesn't keep books around most of the time because she won't do anything else), but has mellowed somewhat with age. She's learned a little tact, and has much more self control than when she was younger.
Sometimes it's illness, but sometimes, they're just not like everyone else. Each of my children seems to have a "glitch" or two, but I think that keeps them unique. Society is so busy trying to fit our children into nice tidy molds, that every unique aspect of their personalities are starting to become disorders. Just my own personal opinion.
I know it isn't easy to deal with an intense child like that. But I survived it, and her daughter shows signs of being just as intense as she is. Hehehe. (She's getting a little of that back, lol)
On the up side, while she did lip off to a couple of teachers, she never got into any real trouble, and by her later teens was much easier to get along with.
Take Care
Ellie
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
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SarahP
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Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 1185
   Posted 8/9/2006 11:09 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Ellie.. that really lifted my spirits. Maybe you are right and it is just "her". I don't think I will start the medical merry go round with her just yet... I'll see what this school year brings. She wants (and has a good chance) of getting on the school softball team, she was an Allstar for ASA this year.. and that will make her keep her grades up, and keep her off the phone a bit..lol.
I know that sometimes parents and kids just don't "connect"... I can't understand her way of thinking and she can't understand mine. So maybe I'm just too judgemental of her, since I AM using 'my' scale of normal.
Thanks again for giving me a 'parental boost'.
Sarah
I'm not procrastinating----I'm still doing yesterday!!!! 
I have no medical training, any medical opinions expressed in my posts are just that....opinions.


lazy
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 241
   Posted 8/11/2006 6:43 PM (GMT -7)   
It is so difficult to tell with 13 year olds. Their hormones are raging and you never know which personality is going to appear. My daughter was diagnosed as bi polar when she was in her 20's but looking back, I'm sure that was what was going on with her when she was 13. She sounds so much like your 13 year old. Sometimes I wondered if she got switched at birth or something (just kidding). I am 56 and was diagnosed bi polar in April of this year. I can look back over my life and just know that I've been bi polar forever. I didn't act out the way my daughter did when I was her age but I certainly didn't understand my thought process and behaviors. And no matter how hard I studied I only made C's and D's. Now I know that it was my cluttered mind from the racing thoughts. Its really strange how I had the racing thoughts as far back as I can rremember but I didn't recognize it as abnormal until my psychiatrist pointed it out to me. I know this doesn't really answer your questions but I hope it gives you some insight into this illness. ...Lazy

SarahP
Veteran Member


Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 1185
   Posted 8/13/2006 8:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Well.. something interesting happened with my daughter on Friday night. She had school softball team tryouts, and they got rained out, so we decided to "sneak out"..lol.. and just me and her go to the library and video store. While we were out, she starts telling me that something is "wrong" with her. That she feels like she's going to "snap". I have noticed that little bitty tiny things upset her. Like she lost her cleats before the tryout... I asked her were they in her bag, she snapped at me.. my mother said maybe she didn't bring them up from her room, she snapped at her.. she was in tears by this point. Went down to her room to pout.. found her cleats lying on her bed. Now she swears she remembers taking them upstairs and putting them by her bad. Said she totally remembers holding them and laying them there thinking that she wouldn't forget them if they were by her softball bag. Now THAT is odd. I lose things.. daily..lol.. but I don't remember doing things that I never did.
Went to softball tryouts the next day, they had gotten rained out night before, and she did great. about forty girls, and only twenty will be picked, but her attitude over that was okay. Today, at four pm is the "posting time" online.. what a nerve wracking experience..lol. Plus, it's my son's birthday, so trying not to let all this bother me.
I suppose I just want clarification, and the proverbial pat on the back, that I did the right thing. I told her to go to her guidance counselor in school and tell her all this.. and get a recommendation from her of a good psychotherapist that we can go to.
Does this sound bipolar? Or could there be something else going on?
I'm sooo lost, totally lost. My truly bipolar daughter is just mainly manic.. has temper tantrums when told no.. does some serious dumb stuff sometimes.. but she's fairly manageable. None of this "weird" memory stuff, or totally losing something. Which actually happens with my older daughter on a regular basis.
Sarah
I'm not procrastinating----I'm still doing yesterday!!!! 
I have no medical training, any medical opinions expressed in my posts are just that....opinions.


Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 8/13/2006 8:58 AM (GMT -7)   
You know, my daughter melts down over nothing as well sometimes. She's 14 and just finally started her cycles, but I've noticed for the last year that she's been unstable. Now things seem to be settling down to one unstable week a month. lol
14 is a terrible year for mothers and daughters. I have two grown girls also, and I went through this with all of them. (I have a 2 yr old girl as well, so I get to do all this again in a decade, heaven help me!)
The therapy isn't a bad idea, I think everyone could use it at one time of their life of another. It may just be hormones though, and a normal phase in her development.
Hoping this passes quickly for you, (none of mine returned to normal again until they were 16 or 17) and for me as well!
Take Care
Ellie
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
Unknown
 
 
 

Post Edited (Ellie 1) : 8/13/2006 10:04:35 AM (GMT-6)


Chasm351
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 8/13/2006 4:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Sarah: on the kids...our daughter was similar and is now 20 - situation is worse.
 
Also, I am new to this.  My dad has tapes he listens to each morning from Mayo that help launch endorfs into his system by soothing the bipolar activity.  Dr. Budinski of Mayo(from many years back) had the tapes done...ideas on the best focus tapes/CDs?  Proven by any of you out there?
 
I am new here and more stories on my somewhat unsatble, but interesting self and family.  4 kids.  One stable and back from Iraq.
 
Thanks
 
Chasm

Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 8/13/2006 6:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Chasm,
Welcome to Healingwell.
I've never heard of tapes like that. Sounds like an interesting concept. This is effective?
Hope to hear more from you.
Take care
Ellie
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
Unknown
 
 
 

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