Concern about sister.... bipolar?

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cherylln
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 256
   Posted 8/12/2006 8:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi, all!  I hope someone can help.  My sister (51) used to be the most balanced, tactful, helpful person.  We had endless conversations and laughed so hard.  Now she is reclusive.  She disappears from all contact for long periods of time and then shows up in our lives again as if she never left.  Her house is full, FULL of junk.  I haven't been in it for at least three years, she won't let me in.
 
She is late for EVERYTHING.  She has been late up to four hours for Christmas.  She comes in at the tail end of events when everyone else is starting to gather their things to leave, and then is disappointed that they aren't staying.  Most of her friends won't have anything to do with her anymore.  The ones that are still hanging on miss the old, former self so much.
 
Her last visit to my house she was like a maniac.  Talking fast, acting overly friendly, talking only about herself and making us all really uncomfortable.  She had invited herself over to a cook out we were having with our adult daughter, who used to be so close to her.  Even Melissa escaped as soon as she could.
 
Our daughter works at a local hotel, where my sister was staying.  There is another young woman who looks a little like our daughter from a distance.  My sister spent 45 minutes talking to this young woman about personal and family matters without once realizing it wasn't her niece!
 
She has expressed disappointment to me that Melissa was so aloof and has lost her family values.  I told her it wasn't Melissa she had been talking to and she told me emphatically it was her niece she had been talking with!
 
I am out of town for a month.  My sister asked if she could hang out in my house.  A week later, my neighbor calls me to tell me my sister is now living in my house for that whole time.  Daughter stopped by and tells me the house is a mess, with uncovered food drying out in the refridgerator, the recycling bin knocked down with cans and such covering the floor of our porch, soda cans stacked up all over.  She borrowed my daughter's cell phone to call the electric company; we think she needed to make payment to them to restore her service.  A week ago her phone was cut off and was later restored.  She seems unable to pay her bills, find her house and car keys.
 
She is touchy, no one knows what will set her off.  We walk on egg shells around her and then when you make a mistake, she calls us controlling and tactless.
 
This hurts so much.  I used to be so close to her and we sheltered each other through the problems of life.  Now I don't even want to see her.

Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 8/12/2006 9:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello Cherylln,
Welcome to Healingwell.
I'm assuming that at this point your sister hasn't been diagnosed with anything. Something is certainly going on. Whether or not it's bipolar or something else I couldn't say, but she needs to be evaluated asap. This could be anything from mental illnesss to some physical neurological issue.
I would do my best to get invited into her home and see just how bad things are. It may be time for family to intervene. I realize it's difficult to face how much a family member has deteriorated, but if she needs help, someone will need to be there for her.
You'll be in my thoughts, take care
Ellie
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
Unknown
 
 
 


cherylln
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 256
   Posted 8/12/2006 10:25 AM (GMT -7)   

Thank you for your reply.  She is under the care of a psychiatrist for meds related to fibromyalgia and ADD.

It seems more than FM and ADD.

Thanks again.  It is nice to hear from someone and receive a little sympathetic reply.


Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 8/12/2006 11:20 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm with you, it certainly sounds like more than ADD. Could it be the ADD meds causing this? I really don't know anything about the condition.  Also is she on any pain meds for her FM?  I've had a couple of back surgerys, and spent a few years on narcotic pain meds on and off.  I know they make most people sleepy and lethargic, but not everyone.  They make me wild and out of control.  Like speed. That could be happening as well.
Is your family with you on this situation? I know what it's like to deal with a family member that is slowly slipping away while everyone other than you turns a blind eye. Hang in there. Hopefully her pdoc will catch on. Can you call him, clue him into the situation?
Hope this all works out for you
Ellie


Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
Unknown
 
 
 

Post Edited (Ellie 1) : 8/12/2006 12:25:48 PM (GMT-6)


cherylln
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 256
   Posted 8/12/2006 12:16 PM (GMT -7)   

Ellie,

Thank you for your reply.  You asked some thoughtful questions.  My siblings and my mother will be no help.  But my daughter and  husband may be.  Plus she has two friends who have not bailed on  her.

I called a roommate from college today.  My friend is now a social worker, plus she knew my sister in the old days when we were all in college together.  She and I thought that a letter to her psychiatrist detailing her current functioning may help him point the therapy or treatment in a more appropriate direction.

I have thought that she may be either misusing the ADD meds OR the meds have become too strong since they have caused her to lose a lot of weight.

Bless you for your observations and questions.

Cheryll in WI


Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 8/12/2006 12:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Glad to hear you're not alone. You're being a wonderful sister to her, which I'm sure when you intervene on her behalf she's not going to appreciate. Just keep in mind it's for her and she will see the love in your actions at a later date.
God Bless
Ellie
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
Unknown
 
 
 


wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 8/12/2006 4:14 PM (GMT -7)   
cher,
 
just want to second what ellie said.  an intervention is in order.  like ellie, it doesn't sound like BP or BP alone, or like a reaction to meds.  but one never knows.  your idea of writing to the pdoc sounds very sound.  if you feel as though the problem may be more immediate, you may consider phoning.  it's hard to tell how immediate the problem is from your post.
 
wish you lots of luck.  you aren't in an enviable position.  know how that is.  we are with you and i'll keep you in my thoughts.
 
warren

lazy
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 241
   Posted 8/12/2006 6:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi CHerylln:  You certainly are going through a lot and my prayers are with you and your sister as well as the rest of your family.  I have to go along with the others and say it could be mental or physical or neurological, etc.  Although, I have a daughter who is bi polar also and she is a SLOB.  I think that in spite of her meds she still has a cluttered mind...thus, a cluttered environment.  I think the detailed letter to the psychiatrist is a good idea.  You express yourself well in these posts so he/she shouldn't have difficulty getting the point. Your sister is lucky to have you.  Hang in there.....Lazy

cherylln
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 256
   Posted 8/12/2006 6:57 PM (GMT -7)   

Thank you, lazy, warren, and wmnak!

I so much appreciate your wonderful words.  It helps so much to get real feedback.  You have helped a great deal.

Blessings,

Cheryll


wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 8/12/2006 8:29 PM (GMT -7)   
cluttered? NEVER (he says, trying to push the mouse through the maze of clutter). :)

lazy
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 241
   Posted 8/12/2006 9:14 PM (GMT -7)   
   LOL
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