Hi, all! I hope someone can help. My sister (51) used to be the most balanced, tactful, helpful person. We had endless conversations and laughed so hard. Now she is reclusive. She disappears from all contact for long periods of time and then shows up in our lives again as if she never left. Her house is full, FULL of junk. I haven't been in it for at least three years, she won't let me in.
She is late for EVERYTHING. She has been late up to four hours for Christmas. She comes in at the tail end of events when everyone else is starting to gather their things to leave, and then is disappointed that they aren't staying. Most of her friends won't have anything to do with her anymore. The ones that are still hanging on miss the old, former self so much.
Her last visit to my house she was like a maniac. Talking fast, acting overly friendly, talking only about herself and making us all really uncomfortable. She had invited herself over to a cook out we were having with our adult daughter, who used to be so close to her. Even Melissa escaped as soon as she could.
Our daughter works at a local hotel, where my sister was staying. There is another young woman who looks a little like our daughter from a distance. My sister spent 45 minutes talking to this young woman about personal and family matters without once realizing it wasn't her niece!
She has expressed disappointment to me that Melissa was so aloof and has lost her family values. I told her it wasn't Melissa she had been talking to and she told me emphatically it was her niece she had been talking with!
I am out of town for a month. My sister asked if she could hang out in my house. A week later, my neighbor calls me to tell me my sister is now living in my house for that whole time. Daughter stopped by and tells me the house is a mess, with uncovered food drying out in the refridgerator, the recycling bin knocked down with cans and such covering the floor of our porch, soda cans stacked up all over. She borrowed my daughter's cell phone to call the electric company; we think she needed to make payment to them to restore her service. A week ago her phone was cut off and was later restored. She seems unable to pay her bills, find her house and car keys.
She is touchy, no one knows what will set her off. We walk on egg shells around her and then when you make a mistake, she calls us controlling and tactless.
This hurts so much. I used to be so close to her and we sheltered each other through the problems of life. Now I don't even want to see her.