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Djonma
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 8/26/2006 3:57 AM (GMT -7)   
So, of course, I totally crashed yesterday after the worst episode of mania I've had in a while.

For the first time though, I did manage to make myself compose whilst I was in that mood, and it did help. I got some work done on a piece I've been stuck on for ages.

But then it wore off.
And I crashed.
I was exhausted, so I thought I'd catch an hour or two's sleep.
But I couldn't sleep.
My mind was still racing.
I finally dropped off and then my Mum rang and woke me up.

The whole evening I was just exhausted and got really irritable and a bit depressed.
I ended up curling up whilst my boyfriend played games, and I dozed off on him.
I got a horrible headache too.

I'm still feeling pretty rough today.
My boyfriend's parents get home from holiday today, and I'm really not looking forward to it.
I need to clean the kitchen up quite a bit before they get here, but I'll do that after lunch.

I'm just not looking forward to them being here.
It's not that I don't like them or anything, I'm just really bad at the moment and not in much of a people mood.
And I feel like I have to be really talkative to them and stuff because we're living with them.

Another month.
In a month I'll move to halls at Uni and I can be on my own when I need to be, and I can get a new doctor and get all of this rubbish sorted out!

But how am I supposed to last a month?
I know.. I've managed 5 months here... but I'm such a mess at the moment, it makes it all so much harder!
And I know his mum will whinge because I can't eat the things they eat - she makes enough fuss that I'm a vegetarian, and now I'm not allowed fat because of my gallbladder.
I just can't cope with them being here right now! And I have to manage another month!
Thoracic Outlet Syndrome from birth - Diagnosed 1999
Fibromyalgia from birth - Diagnosed 2005
Currently waiting to see a consultant to test for Ulcerative Colitis.

No medicines - doctors are useless!


Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 8/26/2006 7:29 AM (GMT -7)   
Is there no way you can get to the doctor any sooner? I don't know the medical system where you are but it seems if you're in really rough condition there should be some way to seek medical treatment.
I'll be thinking of you
Ellie
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
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Djonma
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 8/26/2006 7:40 AM (GMT -7)   
I can see 'a' doctor before then, but it's a useless one and there's one doctor at the surgery who insulted me and made me even more depressed when I told him I was suicidal. And said he wouldn't do anything about it.

So I'm a bit worried about going back there... I'm back in a manic phase at the moment, I've never had them this bad or this close together, and I think if they upset me I might go mad at them.
Thoracic Outlet Syndrome from birth - Diagnosed 1999
Fibromyalgia from birth - Diagnosed 2005
Currently waiting to see a consultant to test for Ulcerative Colitis.

No medicines - doctors are useless!


Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 8/26/2006 7:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Hang in there hon, we're sure not doctors here, but perhaps posting here can help relieve some of the pressure. I'm off to pick up my mother (good grief, not my idea of a fun saturday) but will check in off and on throughout the day.
Take care
Ellie
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
Unknown
 
 
 


Djonma
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 8/26/2006 9:05 AM (GMT -7)   
This is mad.
I had a manic phase yesterday, and I crashed.
How can I be back onto manic now?
It's stupid.
I don't get manic phases this often. And not this bad.
I never have!
Thoracic Outlet Syndrome from birth - Diagnosed 1999
Fibromyalgia from birth - Diagnosed 2005
Currently waiting to see a consultant to test for Ulcerative Colitis.

No medicines - doctors are useless!


Djonma
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 8/26/2006 9:41 AM (GMT -7)   
And now I'm starting to crash again, and I feel sick, dizzy, and headachey.

This is ridiculous!
Thoracic Outlet Syndrome from birth - Diagnosed 1999
Fibromyalgia from birth - Diagnosed 2005
Currently waiting to see a consultant to test for Ulcerative Colitis.

No medicines - doctors are useless!


Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 8/26/2006 11:22 AM (GMT -7)   
I know this may sound crazy, but have you tried any dietary changes? Try cutting out most of your caffine. (I'd have some aceteminiphen or ibuprophen handy, leads to one heck of a caffine withdrawl headache if you use much of the stuff at all). Maybe eliminate some of the sugar from your diet as well...Anything that can give you an energy boost. Sometimes over the counter antihistimines (like benadryl) can slow you down as well, but I wouldn't do that without talking to a dr or pharmacist.
This is all I can think of that might help without you seeing a dr. Not much advice other than this I"m afraid. Maybe someone else will come along who will be more helpful.
Ellie
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
Unknown
 
 
 


Djonma
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 8/26/2006 12:13 PM (GMT -7)   
I haven't had caffeine in years, I can't have it, it makes me very ill.
I'm not allowed NSAIDS either.
So it's not that.
I'm currently on very low fat diet cos my gallbladder is messing around. Low fat tends to be low sugar.
Thoracic Outlet Syndrome from birth - Diagnosed 1999
Fibromyalgia from birth - Diagnosed 2005
Currently waiting to see a consultant to test for Ulcerative Colitis.

No medicines - doctors are useless!


Djonma
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 8/26/2006 1:35 PM (GMT -7)   
OK, I think with retrospect I didn't come down from the mania.
The crashes are my body catching up to what I'm doing to it.
I've done FAR too much whilst manic, and my body has given up.
That's why I'm straight back into mania.
I'm back up there already now.
bad bad bad
Thoracic Outlet Syndrome from birth - Diagnosed 1999
Fibromyalgia from birth - Diagnosed 2005
Currently waiting to see a consultant to test for Ulcerative Colitis.

No medicines - doctors are useless!


Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 8/26/2006 3:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Sometimes you can be manic even though you physically are depleted. You can go and go and go, and then even though your head is still going a million miles an hour your body simply can't take anymore and gives in to the physical exhaustion. So you sit and feel so tense you feel that you're coming out of your skin, but you're too exhausted to do anymore. I think sometimes thats worse than running around trying to do everything. Much more uncomfortable thats for sure.
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
Unknown
 
 
 


Djonma
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 8/27/2006 2:19 AM (GMT -7)   
With my other medical conditions, my body can't take very much.
I did a lot yesterday that I physically shouldn't have been able to do. So my body just gave up in the evening.
But then I was back up around 10pm and bouncing off the walls again.
Thoracic Outlet Syndrome from birth - Diagnosed 1999
Fibromyalgia from birth - Diagnosed 2005
Currently waiting to see a consultant to test for Ulcerative Colitis.

No medicines - doctors are useless!


Djonma
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 8/27/2006 3:10 AM (GMT -7)   
This is the third day running of this manic episode.
This is highly unlike me.
And I can't see my normal GP about it for a whole month when I switch GP's.
And I don't know what to do about it!
Thoracic Outlet Syndrome from birth - Diagnosed 1999
Fibromyalgia from birth - Diagnosed 2005
Currently waiting to see a consultant to test for Ulcerative Colitis.

No medicines - doctors are useless!


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 8/27/2006 7:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Djonma,

You're right, a month without medical support when you're like this is just too much -- and you shouldn't be expected to handle this on your own: this is an illness, not *you* just not being able to cope with yourself, and illnesses need treatment. Are there any other docs at the same surgery as your current one? If so, you need to book an "emergency" appointment with one of them. Doc surgeries in the UK *always* have emergency appointment slots -- but some surgeries don't advertise this fact! What you're going for definitely qualifies. If they've only got an appointment with your regular doc, that would be better than nothing and it would do him good to see how things are for you right now. Btw, if the receptionist asks why you need the emergency appointment, know that it is illegal for them to require details -- though it's possible that you may want to tell them so that they can help you find one of their docs who has experience dealing with patients suffering from unipolar or bipolar depresssion. You would be well within your rights, though, simply to say that you do not wish to discuss your condition with anyone but the doc if asked. The best way to get these appointments is by phoning within the first quarter to half an hour of the surgery opening: they should then have slots to fit you in for an appointment that day. Please try this.

Should you fail to get any help from an emergency doc appointment, then I think you need to take yourself to a walk-in centre. There are many of these dotted around the UK, and if you need help finding one for your area, just let me know where you are based and I'll look it up for you.

Take care hun -- and do get yourself seen by a professional one way or the other -- it can *definitely* be done in the UK.

Rosie x
********************
People are not like fish: they do not work better battered.
 
********************


Djonma
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 8/27/2006 8:09 AM (GMT -7)   
The problem is that my surgery refuses to refer me to a specialist because I'll be moving towns in a month and will no longer be under that PCT. And let's face it... even if I am referred I'm unlikely to see anyone withing a month.

And the nearest walk in centre is miles and miles away in Slough.

This is so messed up!
I don't see why my surgery can't just refer me to the hospital I'll be nearest when I move.
I can get there from here easily, it's only the next town, and I'm DEFINITELY going to be there in a month!

But no... they just refuse to do anything about any of my serious health problems.
Thoracic Outlet Syndrome from birth - Diagnosed 1999
Fibromyalgia from birth - Diagnosed 2005
Currently waiting to see a consultant to test for Ulcerative Colitis.

No medicines - doctors are useless!


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 8/27/2006 8:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Well, ok, so they may not be able to refer you at this time, but they *can* help you with this crisis in terms of looking again at your meds -- and I think you *have* to be proactive here and get this addressed. Of course you could always tell your doc that things are so bad that you probably won't be moving after all (even if this is not the case) and see if he will move things along on that basis. I wouldn't normally advise lying to your doc, but sometimes they are trapped in a system and we have to learn to play that system to our advantage.

Rosie x
********************
People are not like fish: they do not work better battered.
 
********************


Djonma
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 8/27/2006 9:03 AM (GMT -7)   
I don't have meds. I don't have a diagnosis cos a stupid doctor years ago said it was impossible to be both manic and melancholy at the same time, or to cycle rapidly between manic and depressed.
Thoracic Outlet Syndrome from birth - Diagnosed 1999
Fibromyalgia from birth - Diagnosed 2005
Currently waiting to see a consultant to test for Ulcerative Colitis.

No medicines - doctors are useless!


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 8/27/2006 9:16 AM (GMT -7)   
Well then lovely Djonma, you know the answer yourself: that doc was a fool and clearly had no experience of bipolar. Manias themselves can make you feel great or (which 40% of bipolar sufferers have) can be "dysphoric" -- that is with everything else that falls under mania symptoms, but no accompanying sense of well-being. You need to take what you know about bipolar back to your current doc and educate him: you need a mood stabiliser first and foremost -- and you could do with telling him what happens with bipolar if it is *not* treated with meds. meds are the lynchpin of recovery -- along with being taken seriously, I suppose LOL! If your doc's too busy dealing with people with colds to get info on this, *you* can help yourself by providing info to wise him up. Spend today and tomorrow (bank holiday -- typical!) putting info together to take to your doc and then on Tuesday get yourself that emergency appointment and show him what he's not getting for himself. When people get an understanding of what you're dealing with, they will probably be much more helpful.

Love to you,
Rosie x
********************
People are not like fish: they do not work better battered.
 
********************

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