Return of the ex... part 1000 :)

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CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 9/8/2006 2:46 PM (GMT -7)   
Ok, so bipolar ex, who a week and a half or so ago announced that he needed to drop contact with me and his best mate, has just phoned and is popping round for coffee. -- As usual this was done with no sense that he's doing anything odd! Oh, don't worry, no crisis or upset on my part -- very used to this by now and I'm just relieved it didn't take longer. The good thing is that it might give me a chance to find out if he went to his appt with new pdoc on Wednesday (crossed fingers!!) and if so how it went (more crossed fingers!!!). Well, I'll let you know... .
 
Love to all,
Rosie x
********************

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...

********************

 
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum


Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 9/8/2006 3:36 PM (GMT -7)   
Wow Rosie,
You sure are giving him alot of leeway. Are you sure you're okay with this? I know he's BP but be careful not to be his doormat. He may, (and many with BP do) use his illness to his advantage to get away with acting like a jerk. You are a wonderful, kind person, and I know you care deeply for him. Just don't get hurt hon. Gotta protect yourself too you know.
If you can't tell I'm not a great fan of men (no offense guys) in MY personal life. I've taken enough abuse over the years to decide I like it here with my kids and cats and dog. I'm probably overly cautious, and I know if I don't let go of some of my trust issues, I'll be alone all my life. Just be careful okay. You don't want to end up like me, but you don't want to settle either. I think you're worth so much more than this.
Take Care Rosie
Ellie
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
You just have to accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. 
 


wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 9/8/2006 4:59 PM (GMT -7)   
rosie,
 
i figured how you can make your fortune!!!!!!  keep copies of all these threads and send them into the bbc!!!!  (or is it thames?)  this is the new coronation street!!!!  now who will play you and who will play your ex?  let's see.  hmmmmmmmmmm. :-)
 
as i've said to you before, be careful.  you've got to take care of yourself first.
 
and ellie, i've been through it with women.  my first wife was a druggie disaster for five years and then spent the next quarter century trying to distroy me in every way possible.  that's an unfortunate experience.  life has a lot more beauty than a few as*hol**.  i hope and pray that you get over your men issues.  really, there are a few of us who are ok.
 
warren

lazy
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2006
Total Posts : 241
   Posted 9/8/2006 5:05 PM (GMT -7)   
Rosie:  You are too kind.  Those of us who are BP still have choices about getting help.  If we refuse, there is nothing anyone else can do for us...Luv...Lazy

Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 9/8/2006 7:01 PM (GMT -7)   
Ah Warren,
It isn't that I hate men, I certainly don't. I get along well with them on a casual unromantic basis. I say hello to my neighbors and can chat with them in the yard. Just am no longer interested in deeper relationships. I realize there are good men out there. Just not within a hundred miles of me. I've struck out three times. I think the inning is over.
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
You just have to accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. 
 


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 9/9/2006 4:36 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi all,

Well, he did go to his new pdoc. Typically, there begins another saga ... doesn't like him because "he just knows things from books" (OMG, c'mon!!!) but at least he prefers him to previous pdoc. Apparently he sat there and listed off things to his pdoc in a very matter of fact way and said that he was dealing with it all now. Well, he's still going back next week, so the pdoc obviously didn't think an immediate discharge was in order.

Also, he's claiming he's not bp -- he's got ptsd (which I believe he probably has, but since he announced this just after telling me how great he's been doing and how much energy he has and how he doesn't want other people in his life ... well, go figure).

To me all the signs were there that he's in a hypomania, or possibly mania (but I don't think things are quite that extreme) ... so I guess I shouldn't have been surprised by what this meant for "us" (as I said in the "You know you have bipolar" thread, mania = we're not together). Apparently I'm the person he's closest to and he's never had a better, closer relationship, but we're over, etc., and, whilst sitting there having made contact he goes on about how maybe we shouldn't be in contact.

Long story short, by the end of this I was both upset and pee-ed off. Kept thinking "when is this going to stop?" I want to shake him, I want to shake *me*, I want to know that I'm important enough for him to make an effort and sort out why he feels the need to keep everyone at a distance. Was at the end of my tether last night. But I guess I'm still here this morning.

Warren is right: this *is* like a soap opera and I WANT IT TO STOP. I only ever wanted a caring relationship -- didn't have to be all happy hearts and flowers, just mutual and something I could trust. What kills me is that I *had* all that before the big crash in March. How do you stop believing in someone when you don't see the person you're dealing with now *as* that someone??

Don't worry guys, there are no answers to this: I know that. Almost wish I'd not even mentioned this -- after all, none of this is new, right? Just the same old flipping saga but this time the season's changed and leaves are turning red on the trees.

Rosie x
********************

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...

********************

 
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum


Ellie 1
Veteran Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 1291
   Posted 9/9/2006 7:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Maybe Rosie, its time to end the saga. Time to kick him to the curb till he gets himself together. This is his disorder, not yours and you can't fix him. You're making yourself sick, truly, over this. Maybe when he has noone to fall back on he'll take stock of his life and decides what he really wants. Right now he can have it all. You're making it wayyyy to easy for him to treat you badly.
I'm not criticizing you in any way. I've been in your place so many times it hurts just to read your posts. Gotta make a decision hon, we let people hurt us sometimes. I've been playing that game with my first husband for 2 1/2 decades. He can STILL push my buttons. But I let him do it. I react for him each and every time.
I hope you find some way to feel good about this relationship or maybe find its end. Either way, I want you to be happy Rosie, and this is only making you desperately sad.
Take Care
Ellie
Good judgement comes from experience and alot of that comes from bad judgement.
 
You just have to accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. 
 


wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 9/9/2006 8:41 AM (GMT -7)   
rosie,
 
all of us here cherish you.  you are a pearl beyond price.  but there comes a time in metaphisics when you must bless a person out of your life.  you wish them love.  you wish them happiness. you wish them all of the bounty that this world has to offer.  just out of your life.
 
there is no right or wrong.  there is no blame.  there is simply a parting of the ways.
 
perhaps this is an appropriate time for you and your ex?
 
with deep caring,
 
warren

Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 9/9/2006 10:18 AM (GMT -7)   
Sis ........Please email me your numer again I know I lost yours and ellise I am foreber asking for them ......my phone time is free today so please both of you email me and I will put on the wall right by phne kk ......worried beyond worried about you sis really.......
You are priceless and he has to be taught he cannot just use u when he wants his "Rosie " time ya know .......its to taxing on you and your ilnesses ...
we all love you more than you know sis
Talk at ya later ;
Luvs ya
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