What people say

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Jade11
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 105
   Posted 9/21/2006 9:03 PM (GMT -7)   
 
Sometimes it bugs me what people say about those who have bipolar disorder.  I am in a college psych class, and you would think people would be educated about the topic but they really are not.  Some people in my class say the most judgemental things about those with mental illnesses.  Even my instructor says things that are extremely biased.  She will say things like talking to the seriously mentally ill is like talking to "someone from Mars" and "they are not like us."  It bugs me so bad I just want to scream.  I want to tell them what I have just to show them how normal people with bipolar disorder can be.  However, I don't exactly want to out myself to a class of students I don't really know.  I know these people don't mean to be insulting to me, but it is hard not to internalize it.

2tall
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 186
   Posted 9/22/2006 7:42 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Jade,
    Since you feel compelled to say something; which I certainly don't blame you there!  Maybe you could explain that if they KNEW someone with mental illness, then they would truely know that it is NOT always like that.  You do NOT have to tell that it is you.  That is totally YOUR business.  And besides, I bet you are NOT the only one.  So many people in that class are inflicted with many things that you would freak if you knew.  Do not feel like the "different" one.  Cuz sweetie, everyone has something!  Relax and let it be known what you know and how you feel.  You would be surprised at the relief that you will give other's that are feeling the same way! 
    I remember getting ready to have my daughter and we were in Lamaz class and they were giving us a tour of the rooms and explaining what all would take place.  I popped up, and asked in front of the women and their husbands if there was that possiblity that when we were pushing if we would be "poohing" at the same time.....wow, you could have heard a pin drop, turned out EVERYONE wanted to know, but I was the only one that was "out there" enough to ask.  I got a lot of thankyou's that day! lol.....so don't hesitate to say your piece.  You will be fine.   You won't get through to everyone, but you will get through to some.....       
Becky Lynne~                                                                                                                                                                                
    2tall~
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    Coincidence:  when God chooses to remain
    anonymous...
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CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 9/22/2006 7:51 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Jade,

I'm totally with you. I've had a bit of this where I work -- statements like "if so-and-so's depression is interfering with their study, they shouldn't be at university" (I lecture at a uni and have had depression for as long as I can remember -- plus the person who said this *knew* about my depression -- I was really mad about it). Well, it's one thing if ignorant students are saying this, but if the instructor is saying stuff along these lines too, then I fully believe something should be said -- and it shouldn't be up to you to face up to your class with a "confession". Can you talk to your college counsellor and raise the issue of sensitivity? -- especially since this is in a psych class!!

Truth is, I sometimes find talking to "normal" people is like talking to aliens -- particularly those who are closed-minded about mental health and dismissive of its sufferers. In fact, even though it's my ex and not me who has the bipolar (I'm just a unipolar depression gal!), I feel more at home on this board than I do in most places -- certainly a lot more so than I did when I was on a board for people dealing with significant others who had depression (now that really *did* feel alien -- so much judgement!).

Just remember all the talent that bp is associated with. -- For all the bad, it's also got a reputation for being a condition suffered by some of the most brilliant minds there have been. -- And one day you'll leave all those non-bipolars for dust -- that'll teach 'em!!! :)

Rosie x
********************

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...

********************

 
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum


Phoelona
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 9/22/2006 8:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Hello Jade, unfortunately there are many ignorant people in the world regarding Bipolar Disorder. Many tend to forget the people who are Bipolar, that have made a well known name for themselves many scientists, actors, newsanchors,etc, have made it through Bipolar disorder. People with Bipolar lead functional lives with mental disorders everyday, but generally do not get the deserved credit for overcoming, and struggling to gain improvement. Hang in there frankly Jade, I do not feel that you owe these people anything, even giving them enough information to stigmatize you with. Take care and good luck on your future in Psychology. Phoelona

wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 9/22/2006 5:44 PM (GMT -7)   
hey, jade and everyone.
 
jade, people will demonize any minority in order to inflate their egos.  i've been around biggots who were badmouthing jews - until i told them that i was jewish.  and nobody is perfect - something about glass houses and stones?).  i've had people upbrade me for smoking until i ask them how much they drink.  red faces.  neither is "good" for you, but it may be those imperfections that bring us closer to the devine.  like a trrue perrsian carpet had one imperfect thread because allah (god) is the only perfection.
 
should you bring this bigotry to anybody's attention?  your decision.  it depends upon how strong your own ego is in handling other's imperfections.
 
wishing you the best,
 
warren

CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 9/23/2006 11:07 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey Warren,

I'd forgotten about Persian carpets -- a wonderful analogy, and a thought that has brought a smile and a calmness with it. Thank you.

Rosie x
********************

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...

********************

 
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum


Djonma
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 9/23/2006 11:26 AM (GMT -7)   
I think BiPolar people have a higher incidence of high intelligence.
Certainly looking at famous people with it; there's a lot of intelligent people out there.

I like to think we're all so intelligent that we're just on a slightly different plane of thinking to everyone else :-P
It's not our fault they can't keep up with us!
Thoracic Outlet Syndrome from birth - Diagnosed 1999
Fibromyalgia from birth - Diagnosed 2005
(?) Ulcerative Colitis - waiting for tests
(?) BiPolar - currently on Diazepam whilst waiting for assessment.
Thrombocytacemia

No other medicines - doctors are useless!


wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 9/23/2006 5:55 PM (GMT -7)   
rosie,
 
i'm so full of trivia (my wife says it's something else) that my wife, daughter, and grandkids want to stgangle me.  the greatgrands are too young to understand strangle.  tongue
 
dj,
 
there are urban legends for almost everything.  i've heard that jews have fewer drinking problems and brushes with the law (actually it's the chinese).  i've heard that blind people learn to "see" with their ears (no real solid scientific proof).  i've heard, the same as you, the bp people are more intelligent (indications, but no hard statistical "proof."
 
it seems as though minorities often try to find some positive characteristic to help define them.  intelligence.  lack of drunkenness.  lack of criminality.  etc.  i'd settle for people with bp  to be like us on this board:  accepting, kind, considerate, loving ... you get the idea.
 
just my opinion.
 
warren

caroljwj
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 9/24/2006 7:55 AM (GMT -7)   
I am a 56 year old mother of a 36 year old daughter and 35 year old son.  My daughter is definitely bipolar.  Everyone who knows her knows this.  She is very successful in her career, but miserable about 98% of the time.  My son is not successful in his career and lives at home because he can't follow through on his life.  I can't figure out how you get someone else to get the help they need.  I would love to see my daughter happy.  And, I would love to see my son have the life he deserves.  Any ideas?  Thanks.

LDA
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 9/24/2006 10:54 AM (GMT -7)   
I tell people... I don't care what they think of me but they need to know that people with bipolar are out there and we all aren't crazy, dangerous, nuts who do nothing but droll on yourselves. I am proud of the fact that I am overcoming this illness! I have a job, a house, a husband, and I was so close to losing it all, even my life. If you had MS or some other disease the people around you would stand with but with mental illness there are still so many people out there that don't fully understand it - Yes even people in the medical community!!! Stand tall, stand proud Let them know that you that you are a survior - Have you ever read the studies that show that Bipolar patients are usually have above average intelligence and they understand body language more, show more epathy when medicated, and are among the most artist. I wear a t-shirt all the time that says "30% of my people commit suicide. We have bipolar disorder but we don't talk about it." The more people talk about it the educated the world will become... If no one talks about it then how will the mental health community show how important studies and new drugs for help those of us that are mentally ill but still out there in the world. I am not ashamed...

wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 9/24/2006 2:07 PM (GMT -7)   
stigmas are cultural and societal.  in western society, for example, there is a stigma attached to homosexuality.  in muslem countries this stigma does not exist.  in ancient greece and rome, this stigma did not exist.  hence, "platonic love."  julius ceasar, by most accounts, was gay and was probably having a thing with brutus (hence "the unkindist cut of all."
 
in most christian dominated societies there is a stigma with mental health.  this stems from the myth (this is the sociological use of this term, having nothing to do with veracity) of jesus casting out demons.  accoording to tradition, deviant bahavior if "of the deval."  (nice to know that all of us on this board have something else in common :-) ).  and mental health issues, such as bp, schizophrenia, depression, etc are caused by the individual being possessed by demons or the devel himself.  (now we  can all go to our g/f, b/f/, spouce, etc. and say "the devil made me do it."  :-) )
 
in some native american societies (tribes), mental illness was thought to be a sign that the person wa touched by the gods and was, therefore, special to them.  some musslem cultues share the same belief.
 
yes, we all have a lot of educating to do.  just don't expect it to be easy.  beliefs and prejudices die slowly and painfully.  ignorance can be infinite.
 
warren

CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 9/24/2006 3:58 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Carol,

Welcome to HW! -- I've started you a new thread for your question ("A thread for Carolwj: daughter with bipolar"), because it might get lost in this thread and I want to make sure that you get as many responses as possible.

Rosie x
********************

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...

********************

 
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum


CapninHapnin
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 9/25/2006 6:34 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Jade

Here is a strategy I use when faced with a situation such as your class. First off, I never, never tell anyone that I am bipolar. There is no advantage to me to let them know. But instead I use the wonderful plan callled, "the stupid question." Works great in court, and many other situations. For example, when told by the instructor that we are from Mars, ask, "How so?" Then follow with, "How does that make them different?" At first the instructor will try to answer your questions, but as you go on he (or she) will become unconfortable. His next move may be to apologize, or compliment your intelligence. Thank him for that, but continue the line of questioning. Keep on going with these stupid, but leading, questions until you have the instructor backed into a corner and 99% of the time the instructor will go on the attack on you personally. At that point, you have him. Next question would be, "I don't understand, why do my questions in an attempt to learn your point make me a......?" Continue on with leading questions about his response. His frustration will become evident, as will his arrogance. Great fun.

Give it a try!

Cap
I want "I wish I had one more day to spend at the office" on my tombstone.


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 9/25/2006 6:52 AM (GMT -7)   
Superb Cap!! I do this a bit myself sometimes -- I can be like a dog with a bone when something sets me off! -- but I hadn't really thought about it in this situation. Nicely summed up! :)

Rosie x
********************

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...

********************

 
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum

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