Terrible stuff, and stupid fears

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Djonma
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 9/26/2006 12:08 PM (GMT -7)   
It turns out the hospital I was in is incompetent.
My boyfriend is seriously considering suing them for malpractice and the torture they're putting me through by making me cope with this on my own with no medication and the only support being the option of going back there, which is removed because they've shown themselves to be incompetent so we'd have no confidence in going there.

I'll post the whole story at some point, probably tomorrow cos it's just too much for me right now.

But... I have stupid fears.
I just watched "Batteries Not Included" cos I picked it up really cheap at the weekend on DVD and I remember it was a lovely film.
But the old woman in it is a space case.
She's totally in denial about her son's death years ago.
Her husband can barely cope, and watching it is horrible.

It reminds me of my Mum.
She's not that bad, but... my Dad can't cope with her bp anymore.
She's pretty horrible to him and makes him do far too much (he's seriously ill himself) because of her mania.

Am I going to just become some mad old woman whose husband has to watch all the time just in case, and who can't cope with me?
Am I just going to ruin his life?
He has to watch me all the time at the moment, he constantly has to check I'm ok because I'm all over the place at the moment, bouncing between suicidal depression, and suicidal/homicidal mania.
I didn't want him to go to work this morning, but he had to... he can't have more time off, and I felt so angry at him for going, which is so selfish of me.
The slightest thing triggers me and makes me nuts.

I'm just scared that I'll become a complete old space case woman and I'll have ruined his life.
Thoracic Outlet Syndrome from birth - Diagnosed 1999
Fibromyalgia from birth - Diagnosed 2005
(?) Ulcerative Colitis - waiting for tests
(?) BiPolar - currently on Diazepam whilst waiting for assessment.
Thrombocytacemia

No other medicines - doctors are useless!


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 9/26/2006 3:10 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh (((Djonma))) -- you will never be a batty old space case (though I occasionally consider being batty in my age as a kind of career choice -- something about prodding people with knitting needles and prettending I'm deaf to suit me appeals...!). I didn't realise you were without meds after your visit. -- What about the psych nurse, etc? any help there? Well, I'll wait for the full story on that.

BUT: *You* are strong -- and proactive: you know that you have bp and that it needs treating, and I know you are pushing for this. When you move you will be able to push for it better because that area then *has* to take responsibility for you -- and you can find the best doc for you. Can you go back in the meantime to the nice doc you saw before? He seemed to really get what was going on and, although he only prescribed a med as a temporary fix, he might be a good person to see again before you leave for uni as this just doesn't seem to be helping enough at a very unsettling time.

In the meantime, please don't watch any films that are difficult to watch -- a strict diet of Legally Blonde for you for now lady, ok?!!?!! :)

My thoughts are with you hun. Biggest hugs.

Rosie x
********************

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...

********************

 
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum


CapninHapnin
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 9/26/2006 6:49 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Dj

Here is something my pdoc tells me, and I have to refer to it quite a bit.

People with BP are:

1. Naturally gregarious even though we don't feel it sometimes.

2. Naturally compassionate, as evidenced by your reference to caring about your boyfriend.

3. we are on the upper side of the curve on intelligence.

And finally........

4. We are survivors!

We have been through things that are incomprehensible to most, and we just keep plugging along. Evidenced by your sig, you are a powerful person, worthy of respect.

You are in my thoughts

Cap
I want "I wish I had one more day to spend at the office" on my tombstone.


Djonma
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2005
Total Posts : 285
   Posted 9/27/2006 1:11 AM (GMT -7)   
I'm trying not to watch bad films, and to keep my triggers at a minimum, I just remembered that film as being really sweet, and it was! It just shocked me how spacey the woman was and the way her husband had to deal with her....

Rob said it wasn't stupid thoughts it's legitimate thoughts and he said not to worry about it, it'll all be fine :-)
Thoracic Outlet Syndrome from birth - Diagnosed 1999
Fibromyalgia from birth - Diagnosed 2005
(?) Ulcerative Colitis - waiting for tests
(?) BiPolar - currently on Diazepam whilst waiting for assessment.
Thrombocytacemia

No other medicines - doctors are useless!


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 9/27/2006 5:35 AM (GMT -7)   
Your Rob is one great fella, Djonma -- but then you're one great gal, so it's only natural that you should have someone like him in your life. Yeah, you watch them triggers -- I'm trying to develop a trigger forcefield for you, but so far my efforts have been in vain. You and Warren are probably the folks for this! Mind you, Cap could just burn them out! :)

Rosie x
********************

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...

********************

 
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum


wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 9/27/2006 4:47 PM (GMT -7)   
dj and i resemble that remark (of course i'm a dinosour with computers now) :)
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Friday, December 09, 2016 4:30 PM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,735,544 posts in 301,315 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151417 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, porkdot.
350 Guest(s), 12 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Bui, THE HAPPY TURTLE, Teamchris, IamColumbo, Loutucky, NiceCupOfTea, ChickNorris, U B Tough, Fairwind, Hallahan, multifacetedme, Peter A


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer