What goes up, must come down

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olivia of course
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 9/27/2006 6:22 PM (GMT -7)   
I guess, I am feeling really crappy lately.  I had a manic episode about a month ago, and it took me a while to calm down.  I would say I feel anything but normal.  For the last few weeks I don't even know how I was feeling, what my moods were.  I was in a confused state of mind for a while.
 
But now, I don't feel normal at all, but I feel like I am going down, and more down.  It terrible for every time I am up, it is the highest I have ever been, but when I am down the depression is very overwhelming, and affects most of my daily life.  It has gotten to the point that I am scared of myself sometimes, and I know that is not good.
 
I have discussed it with my pdoc and therapists, and they said they are aware of my mood changes as well.  I don't know what I am trying to say, I guess life seemed a little easier before my mania, and now I am struggling trying to pick up the pieces.  I just feel so lost, maybe I am having a mixed-state or something this time around, I don't know.


~Olivia

"Don't let your yesterday ruin your today."

Post Edited (olivia of course) : 10/6/2006 11:49:12 AM (GMT-6)


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 9/28/2006 11:48 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Olivia,

I'm so sorry that you're feeling awful. It sounds like you've been fighting off the depression for a while now and that it's beginning to win. Yes, depression is horrible -- and I'm so glad you've discussed this swing with your pdoc and T as it's very important that they are clear on what's going on. You don't say if they have helped in any way though. Have your meds been tweaked at all? -- Often this is needed when a different part of the cycle is entered: most obviously you cut back on a-ds when mania sets in and up them when mania is over and/or depression is on the rise. Since you came out of a mania recently I'd have thought this would be a good time to adjust your "cocktail". Has this happened? If so, when? If not, why not and has your pdoc even had this discussion with you? Seems to me that the next step has to be with that -- and if you're still on the med dosages you had with the mania, I would question and push for a change.

When can you next talk to your pdoc?

(((Olivia)))

Rosie x
********************

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...

********************

 
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum


wmnak
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 9/29/2006 3:12 AM (GMT -7)   
(((((olivia)))))
 
i don't know that bloody brit does it, but rosie hit the nail on the head once again.  where does rosie get all of this trivia?  i'm jealous!!!!!!!!  that said, olivia, i guess that i'm writing this at 4:30 am (been up since 4:00 am - woke up and couldn't get back to sleep) just to give you something to read and to pat you on the back for reaching out to us, your virtual family.
 
when you're on an upper, you get meds to bring you down.  when you're on a downer, you get meds to bing you up.  so simple.  WHY DON'T SOME DOCS GET IT???
 
it could be that since you have just come down from a manic state your pdoc is reluctant to give you an upper for fear that it may send you back into mania.  i don't know, i'm just guessing and figuring that you have a good, caring, supportive pdoc and t.  if not, then ask them to help fix you.  that's what you're paying them for.
 
i hope this brought at least a smile to you, olivia.  please take care of yourself and keep us posted.  i've missed you on this forum.
 
warren

olivia of course
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 10/6/2006 10:41 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks for all your support.
 
I just found out that I had 2 different episodes.  The 1st time around, I was hypomanic, and this past week or two I have been in a mixed-state, which was the strangest thing ever.  I don't like being up as well as down.  Half of the time it left me in a state of confusion.
 
Right now, my pdoc has me on Seroquel, and is adding back Lamictal as a 2nd mood stabiliser.  Hopefully, that combo will help.  Other than that, I feel much better than I did when I last wrote.  I am able to focus on things better, back then I couldn't even remember what day of the week it was.
 
I'll keep you posted on how things are going.  I hope all is well with you also, till next time my comrades!  :-)


~Olivia

"Don't let your yesterday ruin your today."

Post Edited (olivia of course) : 10/6/2006 11:44:11 AM (GMT-6)


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 10/6/2006 3:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Oh Olivia, I'm so relieved to hear that you are feeling better. Not sure how long it's been since the meds were tweaked, but it sounds as if you might already be feeling the effects -- which certainly bodes well!! :)

Hypomanic and mixed episodes are really debilitating but harder to spot sometimes than straight manic, because there's a tendency to think that mania is always high energy, high mood -- which it is categorically not. Glad your pdoc has helped you with this -- and hope the meds get you back on track really quickly.

Thanks so much for updating us -- I worried about you!! :)

Rosie x
********************

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...

********************

 
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum


wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 10/6/2006 4:21 PM (GMT -7)   
olivia,
 
you're sounding a lot better - hope the reality is as good as the sound.
 
i really have missed you in the forum.  your advice is sage, well-reasoned, and seems to be based on a wide range of deep experience.  you're a keeper. smurf    
 
please get better soon.  and keep us informed.
 
warren
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