Pregnancy and Bipolar Disorder

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lmocombe
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 10/8/2006 6:46 AM (GMT -7)   
eyes Hello all,

My therapist and my Pdoc are not the same but
for right now they have me in counseling on a weekly
basis. I have a huge fear of medication during my pregnancy
so they have me with my therapist and that helps a lot but
I still have my really low low days. I think the high's are a bit
better to cope with but I try to tell myself that I only have
20 weeks left to try and manage. If I have to I will go on some
form of meds but everything that I was taking prior is deemed harmful.
I was on Equetro, Seroquel and topamax. I want to at least attempt to
nurse if I can but at this point I have the bigest fear of dying during childbirth.
It just sticks in my head and I obsess on it. I never felt that with my son.
My eating disorder seems to be somewhat controlled with my fear of being
big as a house. I eat pretty healthy with the exception of some ice cream from
time to time. I am in the gym at least 5 days a week to walk 2 miles and I do
yoga as well. Yoga is hard for me since I have a hard time quieting my mind but
at least I do the moves. Everyday is a struggle as I have mixed episodes that sometime
can be highs and lows often during the day. Well if anyone has any tips or has been through
a similar feeling I would love to hear from you

CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 10/9/2006 12:09 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Imocombe --

Hope you found my message to you in the other thread where you posted!

I really do see why this is so frightening for you. -- Can you talk to the midwife who'll be delivering you in advance -- explain the situation. -- They should be able to help you with your fears and be more understanding and helpful when it comes to the labour too.

I think as a pregnant mum, you have to allow yourself some icecream from time to time! Yes, keep that eating disorder under control, especially during your pregnancy, but I hope that you will manage to break through this a bit more for afterwards because you've had to be so good during these months. Your body is very precious (and not just because it's currently home to a new bub!) and you must find a way of treating it well. Do you have therapy for the eating disorder? I went through cognitive behavioural therapy and it was my absolute godsend for this -- *really* effective, and, apart from the odd tendency to cut back on what I eat (never too seriously) I have been free of anorexia (with binge eating) for about 10 years now.

Definitely make sure that you air all of your concerns with your therapist -- she sounds good, and sometimes we just have to make sure we keep talking things out. It's only natural that things will be really difficult for you at this time, and you need to make sure that you're getting as much help as possible. -- I'm really glad you found us here -- we'll all be here for you, rooting away like crazy!!

Don't worry that it's taking a bit of time to respond -- some days it's a wee bit slow, but people do get here and when they do they come up trumphs with excellent support and caring.

Rosie x
********************

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...

********************

 
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum


wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 10/10/2006 1:03 AM (GMT -7)   
imo
 
welcome to hw and our (slightly dysfunctional) family.
 
the National Instatute of Health (NIH) has a WONDERFUL article on bp and bp during pregnancy.  the main thing that i remember is that some bp drugs will not affect the fetus and is not excreted in mother's milk.
 
as far as your fears are concerned, you stand a much better chance of dieing in a traffic accident on the way to or from the hospital than you do in delivering the baby.  but this is your fear and it's real for you.  talk to your therapist about it.
 
hope this helps.
 
warren

lmocombe
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 10/10/2006 5:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks so much for your reply. I have an appt. this morning as
I do every week and I want to go over everything that has happened
over the last weekend. My biggest thing right now is the fear of dying during
childbirth. I had a c- section the first time and natural the second but my old
OBGYN doctor freaked me out bad! He said as far as my delivery options there
are complications with both the worse is death. So now all that I can do is obsess about it
Since I have the panic disorder, I can only freak out now that I'm shorter on breath and can hear
my heartbeat in my ears from time to time. The funny thing is that with my son I never had any of these
fears. They seem to get worse the older I get. I am 35 now and everything bothers me. I'll be back here after the
doctors appt.

Thanks,

L

CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 10/10/2006 11:39 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi lmo,

I hope "old OBGYN" doc means that they're no longer your doc! What a way of putting it! -- After all, the worst that could happen in *any* situation is death: should we all be worrying about that?! (Please don't tell me I've started you worrying about everything too now!)

Panic often goes hand-in-hand with depression and bipolar, and being off meds won't be making that any easier to handle. Hugs to you.

I hope everything goes well with the appointment!!!

Rosie x
********************

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...

********************

 
Co-Moderator, Bipolar Forum


lmocombe
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 10/10/2006 2:16 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for responding to me. This is the first
postings that I have ever done regarding my mental state.
Not because I don't talk about it but it is nice to have a place
where people at least are in the same ballpark as you and don't
think your totally nuts.

I went to see my therapist today and we were talking about my week.
She has another patient that is also bipolar and pregnant and started
meds. We are going to research what the meds are and hopefully go
from there. I really want badly to be able to get through the next 3 1/2
months without my meds but the doctor told me to not try to be a hero and
be miserable. We are going to take it week by week and see how it goes.

I spoke with my sister last night who also is out on disability due to mental issues
and she told me that mom had the same fear of dying. My mother died when I was
almost 14 so I don't have a lot of memories of her being healthy. Her and my father
both suffered from mental illnesses so my sister and I were bound to get them I guess!

My father was an alcoholic and after mom died was abusive. He did a few years back but
I cam upon his war papers from years ago and he was honorably discharged due to anxiety
and at the time they said he was also manic depressive. I never knew that till recently which explains
the self medication.

I have changed OBGYN doctor and go for my first visit next week and hope the experience is not
as traumatic as the last one.

Warren wrote something that was so true and the funny thing is that the rational side of me knows
that the odds of dying on the way to the hospital is greater but the illness doesn't see that. Since I am
also borderline personality, OCD, and panic stricken I seem to dwell only on the negative.

I'm trying to take it minute by minute but I have to tell you talking to you guys makes me feel not quite as
crazy. :-)

L
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