Thank you for responding to me. This is the first
postings that I have ever done regarding my mental state.
Not because I don't talk about
it but it is nice to have a place
where people at least are in the same ballpark as you and don't
think your totally nuts.
I went to see my therapist today and we were talking about
She has another patient that is also bipolar and pregnant and started
meds. We are going to research what the meds are and hopefully go
from there. I really want badly to be able to get through the next 3 1/2
months without my meds but the doctor told me to not try to be a hero and
be miserable. We are going to take it week by week and see how it goes.
I spoke with my sister last night who also is out on disability due to mental issues
and she told me that mom had the same fear of dying. My mother died when I was
almost 14 so I don't have a lot of memories of her being healthy. Her and my father
both suffered from mental illnesses so my sister and I were bound to get them I guess!
My father was an alcoholic and after mom died was abusive. He did a few years back but
I cam upon his war papers from years ago and he was honorably discharged due to anxiety
and at the time they said he was also manic depressive. I never knew that till recently which explains
the self medication.
I have changed OBGYN doctor and go for my first visit next week and hope the experience is not
as traumatic as the last one.
Warren wrote something that was so true and the funny thing is that the rational side of me knows
that the odds of dying on the way to the hospital is greater but the illness doesn't see that. Since I am
also borderline personality, OCD, and panic stricken I seem to dwell only on the negative.
I'm trying to take it minute by minute but I have to tell you talking to you guys makes me feel not quite as