wats wrong with me

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horazontal
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 10/15/2006 5:53 PM (GMT -7)   
5 years ago i had buisness wife an most people would say a good life.i was always the life an sole of a party but on the inside i was weak worthless uglyfat usless the list goes on i was crying inside spending cash an drinkin drugs all made me feelgood 4 a wile then the feeling of loathing my self came back so isort help lost my wife job an home4 years on im agraphobic an suicidal mood swings bad again an my careworker cant see my problem they say give it time 4years is time enough i think skull

judyinky
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 10/15/2006 10:35 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Horizontal,

HI, I'm Judy. I was saddened by your post. I am also very glad that you made it to this board to post. If you have made this step, you still want help and you need support, friendship and acceptance.
You will find all those things here in our bipolar group. I welcome you with open arms, as I am sure others will.

I have had depression for over 25 years, but was not diagoised with the bp2 until about 10 years ago. I understand the suffering, the stigma, the desperation, and the times when you dont think you can make it another day.


As I read your post, I felt your anger, and I felt a bit angry myself. The thing that angers me is that you went for help and because of that, your life changed in such a negative way that you are now having a more diffiuclt time that ever,, or so it seems. I am wondering what kind of doctors and therapists you have had over the pasat 4 years. By now it seems that you would have found some stability with medication counseling, and work on your part to make changes in your life to help yourself. Also, a good support system. Do you have that? If not, please find one in your area. There are bipolar groups in most ciites. There is also a group called NAMI, a national orgainization for those of us will mental/psychiatic symptoms. They offer support for us, as well as any family members.

What are you doing with your life now? Do you work? Do you have family? Are you on medicaton?
I hope I'm not asking too many personal questions. I'de just like to try to get to know you.

This illness can be a real challenge to live with. At times there doesn't seem to be any hope. Those are the times that you lean on us here at Healing Well. We will help you through those times, and you will find that many of us have been right where you are. We are here, and we understand!!


I hope you will write again. I check this board often, and will write back to you.

Praying for you the AM,

Judy
"Hope is seldom found in the things we can see;it is the sweet fragrance of grace."

             

 




seechell
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 362
   Posted 10/15/2006 10:59 PM (GMT -7)   
Horazontal-
All I can say is I'm glad you've reached out for some support. I've found this board to be very helpful and the members are wonderful.
(((((HUGS)))) and keep posting.
Take Care,
               Chelle
    "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
  DX: ankylosing spondylitis, periferal neuropathy, chronic migraines/headaches, depression/panic attacks, probable Bi-Polar, hypothyroidism, hypoglycemia, orthostatic hypotension, sleep apnea
  RX: synthroid, estradiol, cymbalta, xanax, proamatine, inderal la, neurontin, torfanil pm, celebrex, sonata, aspirin, relpax, phenergan, esgic plus
  Surgeries: hysterectomy 1997, tonsillectomy 2001, deviated septum 2005, cataracts (both eyes) 2006
 
 


judyinky
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2006
Total Posts : 254
   Posted 10/15/2006 11:22 PM (GMT -7)   
opps, don't know why my post got posted 2 X's. That happened earlier today too.

 

Message from Moderator (CounterClockwise): It's ok, I deleted the "spare". -- I don't know why this happens somentimes either! I'm always a bit nervous about deleting a "double" message in case somehow it takes the original with it!! (Copied your message before I did it just in case!) All best, Rosie x

Post Edited By Moderator (CounterClockwise) : 10/16/2006 2:12:17 AM (GMT-6)


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 10/16/2006 1:25 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Horazontal,

Welcome to HW! So glad you found us :) This is a great group of people, and we are always ready to help!!

Well, Judy's asked all the questions I would have done. I too was concerned about what sort of support system you have. -- You mention your careworker, but do you have a psychiatrist and/or therapist? To me too it seems like you should not be where you are 4 years on. What medication are you on? Has that been reviewed and/or changed at any point?

I'm not sure where you're based, but wanted to give you some numbers/websites for suicide/self-harm support. The phone line is for the USA, which is where most of our members are from; if that doesn't cover you, just let me know and I'll find one for where you are.
National Suicide Hotline
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
This is a combined network of the Amerian Association of Suicidology, the National Hopeline Network, CONTACT USA, and many other organizations. Call are automatically routed to the nearest crisis center to the phone from which the call for help is placed.

Helpful Web Sites:
Suicide Hotlines (listed by state)

Suicidal.com (includes Suicide Crisis Center and Depression and Suicide)

http://www.selfinjury.com/index.html

http://suicidehotlines.com/international.html

http://www.befrienders.org/

Please do make sure that you contact a crisis line if you are feeling suicidal!! Nobody should have to go through that without help to get out of it!!

Rosie x

wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 10/16/2006 1:03 PM (GMT -7)   
everryone else have covered the bases.  you have all of the advice that i would or could give.  it's up to you.  do you stay on dead center and maybe off yourself, or do you get the medication and help that you need to claim your life?  that's the choice you have as i see it.
 
i'm not getting religious, but your diety, whatever his/her name may be, loves you with a love bigger than th universe.   and that's amazing.  and you are amazing.  you have potential and strength inside of you that you don't even know exist.  tap into that strength.  it carried me through when i was in your situation in 1970.  that inner voice said "this isn't you."  at that instant i began to claim my life and my happiness,  listen to that voice, hoizontal.  it won't fail you.
 
warren

horazontal
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 10/16/2006 3:23 PM (GMT -7)   

dear judy 'rosie'warran,chelle  my heartfelt thanx 4your replies  i read my post again2day an it seems veryself pittying .              mymoods at the moment canchange in hours it is now 11pm monday in nobad thoughts for 3 hours or so 2answer some of the questions  im a 46 year old male with2 daughters an 2 granchildren of 3 an 1. my mother is in the last stages of CO PD so has only a short time left my entire family network is huge so i stuggle 2 hide my illness from them most still think i am the happy go lucky person because i have lernt 2 be a good lyer i get invited 2 partys etc an ive always got an excuse not 2 go.   my sister is the 1 who knows most not all about me an she helps i have apsychatrist and a care co ordinator its only recently that they said i have bi polar they an me treeted my manic highs as me gettin better because they would last 4 days in which i would meke some realy bad desisions hence lossing wife home an most freinds because of eratic behavior imon meds 100mills seratalin an 5mil diazapan twice a day   i do not work anymore as i used 2 own bars an i cant face people have not been outside 4 nearly a year exept 4 a manic episode3 months ago made myself look aright arse  AGAIN  please tell me about yourselfs as ive ranted on about me 4 long enough all the best   cliff   ps im in uk


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 10/16/2006 4:04 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi Cliff -- I'm in the UK too!! :)
 
Never worry about sounding self-pitying: you have good reason to feel frustrated -- this has been going on for a long time and you naturally feel exhausted and anoyed that you are being told to give it time. That said, if it's only recently that you've been diagnosed with bipolar, a little time for the meds to start taking effect actually might be just the thing (they could just do with explaining the process better!!).
 
Seratalin is the same as Zoloft (for you folks in the US with your whacky med names lol), and is a depression/anxiety med. Diazepam is a benzodiazepine, and is also used for anxiety (more a med for crisis moments than a maintenance med). Have you started taking these meds recently? Your psychiatrist may be waiting for you to adjust to those before adding anything else to the mix. If this is the case, do ask your psychiatrist what his/her plan for your medication is. If you have been on these meds a while now, then there is one crucial question: why on earth have you not been prescribed a mood stabiliser? (In fact I think, fromn what you've said about your changing moods, a mood stabiliser is the *first* thing you should have been put on when you were diagnosed with bipolar, but your psychiatrist may have good reasons for taking a different route, so that may not be a problem in itself). Please do ask your psychiatrist about this at the earliest opportunity. Apart from anything else, although anti-depressants are a very useful *part* of bipolar medication, on their own they can actually trigger mania.
 
I really don't think you should feel you have to hide the fact that you're bipolar from your close friends and family. For a start, bipolar has a strong genetic element so you may well find out some interesting facts about some of your relatives! Maybe you could start by asking your sister to help you in finding out more about the condition and the way it is treated. There are some great websites out there with information and loads of useful books (this is where I recommend David Miklowitz's "Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide" again folks! -- you can find it via the Resources/Books in the yellow column at the right of this page). I posted a list of really useful web resources for Chelle (seachell), who's also just been diagnosed, the other day in the Anxiety-Panic forum. Here's the link: http://www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=9&m=623705
 
I'm so sorry about your mother -- a very difficult time for all your family, and at times like this you probably need extra support (a terrible thing for anybody, but it counts as a "trigger" situation for bipolar, so it's no surprise that things are especially difficult at the moment).
 
Lovely of you to ask about us too! -- I'm 31 and live in the UK (down Portsmouth way). I came here at the start to find help with my ex who has bipolar (was my partner then -- yes, bp claims many relationships when it's not being managed properly). I found this group so warm and welcoming -- full of great insight and advice. As I say, since then my partner left (went completely blank, not taking bipolar meds, all very messy and painful), but I have remained here because I think it's so important for people who do reach out to have support and for us all to help each other through the tough times. I couldn't help my ex with what I've learned in the end, but I am so happy to be able to help all the lovely folks here.
 
Very best wishes to you Cliff.
 
Rosie x
 
 


********************

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...

********************

 
Moderator, Bipolar Forum


wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 10/16/2006 8:29 PM (GMT -7)   
hey clif,
 
once again, rosie has given you perfect advice.  please listen t this woman.  she knows what she's talking about (except when we disagree :-) ).
 
my wife and i live in texas but also bought a house in alabama to be near our daughter's family.  we will be going home to tx in the next few weeks to vote in the november 7 election.
 
we lived in the uk near london from about 1975 to about 1984.  worst mistake i ever made was leaving england.  we loved it there. sad
 
we have lived all over the usa and in germany and travelled all over western europe.  holland is my favorite country of all time.  and they even speak english there (a lot)! 
 
i am 60 yrs old and have had mental health prroblems all my life.  back inthe 50s all they knew to call these problems was "depression."  about 6 yrs ago i had a botched epidural steroid injection and the pain was so bad i attempted suicide - anything to get rid of the PAIN.  i ended up with a psychiatrist who first diagnosed me as schizophrenic, then schizoaffective, then, with my input, as bp.  i am on lithium as a mood stabelizer and welbutrin for depression (which constantly plagues me).  i have emphazema with copd, constant debilitating back pain, bp, neurropathy - he**, i'm OLD, what do you expect?
 
i'm really glad that you found us.  i look forward to your posts.  rant if you want to, ask questions, offer your experriences to others - whatever.  be warned, i have a wied sence of humor which is an aquired taste.  i'm also a cynic - but more about that later.
 
hope this helps.
 
warren

horazontal
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 10/17/2006 4:01 PM (GMT -7)   
hi warren thanx 4 your reply i look 4ward 2 finding out about your sence of humour no matter how down i am i still like a laugh i have found the suport i have recieved from all on thissite so helpfull 2day ifeel alot better no more bad thoughts im going 2 try an make myself heard when i see psych this week
ps some one asked my girlfreind if she talks 2 me when shes having sex she told them yes when i phone her lol

wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 10/17/2006 4:49 PM (GMT -7)   
horizontal,
 
on behalf of all of the membersof the bp forum, i thank you.  rosie, as moderator, will have to make it official.
 
i agree about a sence of humor and a good laugh now and then.  it often does me more good than the drugs.
 
my back has been giving me fits for the past few days.  have been in bed all day today because of the pain.  my wife (god i'm lucky) had to dress me.  a future like this is unacceptable.  i will do all i can to change me - that's all you can change in this life.
 
glad you're feeling better.  keep doing whatever it is that you're doing.  heck (that word makes it past the keyboard police) try something else if you think it will work.  just get off dead center (where i've been the past few days).  change is the only constant in the universe.  make those changes that will benefit you the most.
 
cynic:  a greek philosopher once said
 
a man who is 20 years old and is not a cynic doesn't know enough.
 
a man at 18 whi is a cynic knows too much.
 
i've been a cynic all my life. smurf
 
god bless you.  look forward to your  posts.
 
warren

CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 10/18/2006 12:00 AM (GMT -7)   
LOL Warren -- official status is granted to your thanks! :) (Used my sparkly magic wand for this!)

Keep us posted on how you go with the meds/doc questions Horazontal!!

Rosie x


********************

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...

********************

 
Moderator, Bipolar Forum


dry
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2004
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 10/19/2006 5:00 PM (GMT -7)   
Welcome to our group of people who truly understand where you are coming from, because they, themselves have been there .  For your fears, your concerns, your doubts, insecurities and all the sadness you have had in your lifetime up to now. We say that we are sending you a great big hug or two your way.  You are on the right track, keep writing, and journaling your thoughts, your moods, and stay in this group.  We need you and you need us, we together will become united and one, and stand tall and firm like the mighty oak, and redwood tree, we will move forward in positive behavior and attitudes, enjoying the life we deserve which will be true freedom in our selves, and happiness among others.  Take care, God Bless and stay safe, and stay in touch.

Magaroo
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 10/20/2006 6:57 AM (GMT -7)   
I wrote this last night in the Panic forum, and decided I would repost it here and see what replies I get.  DOes it sound like I could be bipolar, or is it all just FEAR, FEAR, FEAR?... Thanks.
 

I have been suffering from PD and some agoraphobia for 2 years now.  The last week I have been breaking down and crying a lot.  Tonight my sleep has been broken just like in the past. on and off.  I am SO worried about going crazy.  The stress makes my tummy hurt beyond belief, forcing me to run to the washroom in the middle of the night.  I broke down crying at 2 am tonight and clung onto my sleeping b/f for dear life.  I am so afraid when I go through this, except it doesn't exactly feel like just a Panic attack the way I have them in stores and outside the home. Often at home I go through these weird majorly depressive moments, where I am still consumed by terrible fear and a major sense of impending doom.  I just feel like I should be going to the hospital at those moments.  I worry about being bipolar, because my brother suffers from something like it.  I can't say for sure that I have ever been manic, but the lows I have been feeling ever since one of these awful 'episodes' at home make me worry I am going through some weird depressive psychosis.  My b/f says there is nothing of the sort.  Yet it seems far too intense to just be a bout of normal depression that can accompany PD sometimes.  I am SO afraid, and I don't want to go and ask for heavy meds if it's just all in my head in the end. In addition, I am absolutely terrified of taking medication.  Sometimes I feel I am not even thinking any awful thoughts about going crazy and then this anxiety creeps up or a major moment of depression where I just break down and then am freaked out and scared for my life!  It's hard because I feel bewildered during these moments sometimes, and I worry that I am in some other realm and will lose control.  I don't know what to do.  I have ativan to take when I am terribly anxious or panicked, but when I feel this 'high' the last thing I want to do is take a sedative.  I really need reassurance or some advice, please...  I just don't understand how I can be a bit nervous because of not sleeping, for example, then decide to get up and have a smoke, change my focus, go to use the washroom, and as I am about to lay down again- I break down big time!  I just start crying and feeling SO afraid!  There is definitely always FEAR and major TERROR linked to each of these doomed moments.  I just don't understand myself lately, perhaps they are panic attacks accompanied with depression, but the intensity is so severe because I am ay home (apparently my 'safe place') and I often see no triggers.  I just needed to express myself and plead for help.  I am so tired of feeling so hopeless and like I need to be institutionalized and babied all of the time.  Please help.  *Even now I am worried that because I am typing this at 4:23 am and my thoughts are pouring out, that I may be hypomanic right now or something*.  Ahhh, Help! Please. Thank you all.


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 10/20/2006 10:53 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Magaroo,

Welcome to the bp board.

My impression from what you've described is that this is not a hypomanic episode, but rather depression and anxiety as you originally felt yourself. The 'high' sounds to me like acute anxiety. You would do best to get a proper diagnosis from a psychiatrist to rule out (or in) bipolar and give you a more concrete sense of what you are dealing with.

Do remember that what most people describe as depression is just "feeling a bit down" and anxiety for most is "feeling a bit anxious". The conditions themselves are a far cry from this -- much more intense, as you yourself are experiencing.

Fear of having lots of other serious condition is one thing that often goes hand-in-hand with anxiety ("medical anxiety"); so don't feel bad that you've been worrying about these things: just recognise that they are your anxiety talking in all probability, and not anything more serious. Do go to your doctor about this. And tey to look up some of the medications available for treating anxiety and depression: "heavy" as a description suggests that you are predisposed against them, but they're *very* helpful (though, as always, different meds work differently for different people).

Best wishes,
Rosie x
********************

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...

********************

 
Moderator, Bipolar Forum


dry
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2004
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 10/20/2006 11:24 AM (GMT -7)   
Dear Magaroo,  this may sound a bit strange to you but I want you to do something for yourself and for me ok?  wrap your arms around your waist, or shoulders and give yourself a great big hug.  And close your eyes and take ten deep breaths in your your nose exhale slowly through your mouth.  Did you do it?  Feel a bit calmer?  That was a hug group from us to you.  Everytime you feel anxious or fearful do that would you?  Deep breathing can be very helpful for a lot of reasons for a lot of people.  continue to seek your medical and professional help and you really do need to start on some kind of meds to adjust the inbalances in your body that cause your thoughts to race, and all.  I just want to tell you that you are not alone in this.  we are all here for you .  I also want to tell you that you are going to be ok.  It may take some time to get everthing worked out for you, but you are going to be ok.  You are talking to a worrier.  I used to be.  now I just have learned through counseling, meds and prayer how to handle what I can, and dont worry about the things I cant handle, that they always have a way of working themselves out, maybe not the way, I would like them to, but they work out in the end.  always.  I am not a religious person.  I dont practice religion.  however i choose my higher power to be God who I give the credit to because he always comes first, because he always comes through.  Find your higher power source and use it.  give your worries and problems to your higher power and start doing things you like to do for yourself.  Its ok to do that.  you deserve it.  a hot relaxing bath, a walk through wild flowers, or park, go window shopping, etc.    take yourself to a movie, its ok to do these things.  Start talking yourself up instead of down with self destructive ways, and verses.  This can all be learned in counseling, and groups.  We didnt learn these self destructive ways and thoughts over night, it took time, and so will the new positive ways.  You are worth the fight, so take a deep breath, got your running shoes on.  are you ready?  ok, then we will be waiting here for you at the finish line of your race, alot of us are still running it with you.  on your mark, take another deep breath, get set...................GO!.  we will be waiting to hear from you on your new life and new progress.  You are on your way to yeah TRUE HAPPINESS AND FREEDOM.  YEAH

horazontal
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 10/20/2006 12:45 PM (GMT -7)   
dear magaroo i like u are new to this site please listen 2 the advise you have received from rosie an dry.i have been living a nightmare for the past few weeksthe tears the panic the feeling of doom an a hole lot more i wasready 2 exit life but lucky 4 me an thanks 2 all those who wrote on here i am thinking clearer this site will not cure you ordiagnose you thats the profesionals job but it will give u the feeling you are not alone an once you feel your not alone the bad feelings will subside the bit dry said about hugging yourself sounds silly bit believe me HEY IT WORKSi no itried it good luck with everything i will b watching 4 your postings cliff
ROSIE was going 2 sort meds an my other probs out but sat in there room an said nothing i no it was stupid but need a bit of time 2 get confidence up 2 speek 2 them again tnank u all cliff

Magaroo
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 10/20/2006 1:39 PM (GMT -7)   

Wow, thank you all so very kindly! I can't believe how thorough and sincere all your responses were.  I am so glad I found this place; I feel better having read your replies already.  It's just been such a long journey already, and just as I am getting better for weeks at a time, I often tend to have setbacks and those change my mind state from positive to negative all over again.  I know I shouldn’t see these setbacks as failure, instead I should see them as opportunities for growth.  I will try and practice that more often.  It's just hard you know (of course you do), because one moment your life is in place, the next you are living in Panic and Fear nearly everyday of your life.  When your home is no longer acts as your 'safe place' it gets really tough, because where do you escape to then, right?  I'm 22 years old and really confused and unsure of myself.  One thing I was always good at in the past was being truly comfortable being with myself, that feeling has since disappeared.  I really want to be a better g/f for my b/f, offer him more laughs and smiles again.  I'd like to take care of him for once, he has proven to be a Prince for a while now and I have to say that in this way I am truly blessed.  I hope you all know I am here for you as well.  Btw, I just wanted to add that I have gone to the psychiatrist a while ago and he diagnosed me with an anxiety disorder, and then a few months later bumped that up to a Panic disorder.  He is definitely correct in his diagnosis, and even thought he told me that I am not bipolar- yet somehow I can't seem to shake that fear off though.  It's sad too because when I get happy at times now, there are moments when I will take that away from myself because I am worried that may indicate a manic state.  I practically live my life by walking one eggshells- if I don't cry today, that means it's less than what is needed to be considered majorly depressed- etc... I land up bottling my emotions up, and then hitting rock bottom.  I know I should just let myself feel what I need to be feeling at a given moment, but I just have this strongest urge to be in control at all times.  I think that I tend to forget that while I suffer from PD, I am still human and other things still go on in my life that may cause me stress or insomnia, etc.  I want to stop judging myself, I just haven't found a way to do so yet.  I know I am rambling now, but maybe it will help someone else here feel that they aren't as alone.  Maybe it will help people see that while our situations/disorders/struggles all may have a similar name, all our cases our quite complex in the end, because we are so uniquely beautiful and different.  Above all, we are human!  Thank you all so much for your replies, it means so much to me.  Even as I write this now I feel quite bewildered, high or even perhaps a slight sense of 'derealization' but I know it'll be okay now.  My emotions are stable and I feel okay, I am trying to remember that anxiety and stress can do extremely weird things to our bodies and for different lengths of time.  I need more sleep, last night was hard and my sleep was broken all night.  I will try and stay positive and calm, and I hope you all will too.  Let's fight all of this together.  We will persevere. XoooX.~ yeah

Post Edited (Magaroo) : 10/20/2006 5:59:45 PM (GMT-6)


wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 10/20/2006 2:51 PM (GMT -7)   
mag,
 
glad to see you here!  let me be the last person to welcome you to the bp forum.  :-)
 
i'm glad to see that you are getting professional help.  that is the critical first step.  just as important is realiazing that this affliction is something you cannot handle on your own.  you MUST take your meds.  without them you are trying to bake a cake without flour.  it takes meds and therapy (usually) to deal with this.
 
there are two types of fears:  those with an anticedent and those without.  a fear with an anticedent might be a fear of firearms.  the firearm itself is a physical object that you can point to and say "i am afraid of THAT."  fear without an anticedent turns inward and becomes anxiety.  anxiety can actually be defined as a generalized fear.
 
then there are fears that are reasonable than those that aren't.  i have a fear (phobia actually) of confined spaces.  unless i become as astraunaght or a submariner A(not likely at my age) this is an unreasonable fear.  however, if i were severely injured in an automobile acfcident because someone was tailgating you (this happened to me - twice) you might have a fear of tailgaiting (yes, i have this fear).  this latter fear is actually healthy and is adaptive.
 
hope my experience helps you.
 
warren

Magaroo
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 10/20/2006 4:53 PM (GMT -7)   
Thank you for your response Warren.  I definitely have problems with identifying my triggers a lot of the time now because the anxiety has been so internal throughout these 2 years at times.  I have ativan for it, and I suppose I can try and take it more often.  It's just hard when I am feeling 'high' from insomnia or even a bit spaced- out from acute anxiety, because the last thing I want at that moment is a sedative running through my system and making me feel even more 'high'.  Suppose I have to find a median though.  Thank you again, take care.  Thank you all for taking my Panic disorder and fears of 'losing control' seriously.  Thank you for not seeing this anxiety disorder as a joke. But most of all thank you for giving me hope that this own't be my life forever. XoooX.
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