When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...********************
Post Edited (helpless06) : 10/30/2006 4:07:55 PM (GMT-7)
Post Edited By Moderator (Ides) : 12/11/2006 3:59:48 PM (GMT-7)
Im new to this forum as well. I have been devouring anything I can about bp as I am a new wife to a DH who suffers. And I mean suffers. I ran across paperwork a few years back b4 we were married diagnosing him w/ "manic depression". I thought to myself "well i've been depressed b4" , "he's had a tough life and I'll give him the love he never had and all will be fine" I had NO CLUE. I've just come 2 terms with the magnitude of this illness. However, my question is, how do u determine what is illness and what is just him being a jerk? Well let me start off by explaining a bit.
My husband and I have known/dated off and on since 12 :) He was always a sweet wonderful guy. Had it hard, not much $ as a child. None the less as he grew older (im not making excuses) he needed to find ways to provide for himself. I couldn't understand his home life (found out this year his mom suffers from mental illness and didn't provide for him; food, clothes, much of nothing). The older "preditors" helped him @ 14 deal in "illegal activites" to buy food-Mcdonalds & clothes. During that time I tried to understand him but his newfound lifestyle caused a wedge. He became homeless when his mother had an episode and put him out and later lost their apt and needed him to provide a refuge for them both (lived in motels) promoting further his lifestyle. He began seeing an older woman,she was 28 he 15ish...U draw u're own conclushion blah blah etc.
Allegedly this woman spiked his drink (he was early 20's when this happened) and he had some type of breakdown and ended up in the er/mental ward for about a month. When released he had no where to go and no one to help and he bounced from bad situation 2 bad situation and landed in prison (6+ yrs).
Fastforward:He gets out we reunite and things were GREAT he'd "learned his lesson, seeked employment, tried to see his children (2) and be a productive person. He did just that for quite a while. However we live in an urban area and he has those same "preditors" some of whom are family and they taunted, ridiculed and baited him about his "corny life" & that "illegal" is the only thing that he can/should do well.
Side note: he usually has a really bad episode during this time of year-anyone ever heard of that? Seasonal cycling?
Anyway, I believe he is listening to these people as times/$$ are tight right now and his youngest daugthers mother (who has stalked him since him coming home) uses the daugther to try and manipulate him and does so successfully which also causes a lot of arguments between us as he takes it out on me, blames me for the state of the relationship w/ his daughter instead of the mentally unstable mother. We are separated now (1 1/2 months now) due to a huge blow out about the daugther's mother (story too long to tell) and she continues to stress him, argue, use the child, has him in $$ trouble w/ child support as he is not working and deep in dept (she pursues enforcement when he wont talk to her and threatens to call felony support when he wont comply w/ her requests) so on top of regular relationship stuff i have all these other issues.
I think I've digressed, My main point is how to find out how to get him treatment. When I suggest meds he says he was on them before and they made him lethargic and empotent. He also says they've "messed his body up"
I KNOW he's scared and he wants help but when I suggest anything healthwise or not he feels im trying to "tell him what to do" and he rebells. I LOVE my husband and I cry everytime I think about this. But I don't know what to do I want him get well more than anything. Also I read that BP was genetic and I'm terrified about having children with him. I know this post is long and I appreciate those who've suffered through this. I signed up for a family of bp support group and am looking into therapy. Unfortunately neither of us have health insurance so our options are even more limited.
After reading my own post I forget his symptoms:
1.Sometimes hes So inconsiderate and if he doesn't understand Im a person w/ feelings; 2.He has gotten us into a mess financally;spending 49k in 4wks, messed up or joint (no longer existant bank acct), 3. has inappropriate relationships w/ people ex. talked a business contact into letting him used "HER" car when we'd 1st sep. (i caught them-womens intuition) 4. Cheating, cheating cheating, 5.lying, lying, lying 6.exaggerating, exaggerating, exaggerating 7. Lashes out in rage (we've had a few dangerous episodes) 8. Gets so depressed afterward or when things are going badly and Im sure much of the rest of the other symptoms. I feel like such a fool as he does all these things and i've tried to work it out. I tried to sneak holistic bp treatments in like change his diet and vit;omega 3's etc. But honestly stress exacerbates his mood swings and then the seasonal cycle are usually the worst OR violent. I know this post is long Im sorry!!! I just thought others who KNOW what im going thru might have some insight. Like I said I LOVE my husband-the calm one, the other dude I bounce between feeling sorry for, afraid of or just exhaused.