glad that you decided to get on hw and read the thead that you started. i understand liking people but not wanting to be around them. my wife is probaably right when she says that i make them feel uncomfortable. people are idiots! people believe whatever pap they are fed. does anyone remember candidate g w shrub catagorically stating in a debate with al gored that "i will never enter into any armed conflict without a definite exit strategy?" yeah right. or that same candidate chastizing mr clinton for "nationbuilding.?" what are american kids fighting for in afganistan and iraq?
i am probably older than you and, therefore have been a cynic longer. but you have cynicism backwards. if something goes poorly a cynic can say, "yep. just what i expected." and if something goes well a cynic can say, "well i'll be dam*ed!" that's why cynics are the happiest people in the world.
someone once said that if a man eached the age of 20 and was not a cynic he didn't know enough and that if a man reached the age of 18 and was a cynic he knew too much. i've been a cynic all my life.
words are symbols (my degree in linguistics showing up). we are able to communicate with them because people have a "common core of shared meaning." communication usually happens through this common core. but ask rosie what a "rubber" is. in america we call it an eraser. in aussieland the word has a totally different meaning.
taboo words are totally cultural. in white america the word "bast*rd" is not realy taboo. white men often use it as a greeting, "how ya doin' ya old bast*rd." in black culture this same word is considered ude and crude and is definitalely taboo. the keyboard police in hw would not let me use the word "qu**r" when i was citing an old jordie (england) phrase, "there's naught so qu**r as folk."
given all of this educated cr*p, what does it have to do with the price of eggs at a&p? even though taboo words and concepts are cultural, we conform to a standard (hypocritical though it is) in order to get along. god knows i stretch the limits of rosie's tolerance and the keyboard police! with practice this can actually be quite fun. try it. you'll like it.
oh, yeah. cider, you're not old enough to be opinionated. i've got the market cornered. it's ok to be blasphemous, nasty, or anything else you want to be. the problem you are having seems to be that you don't think anyone cares. i used to think that giving my word was meaningless. i would promise people anything and deliver crap. then my therapist called me on it. i said the same thing thing you said, "why should i keep my word? nobody else does and nobody cares." she then hit me with one of the greatist gifts i have ever been given. "you do it because of who you are and because it's important to you." that was about 25 yrs ago. in those 25 yrs i have given my word a lot less but i have honored it every time it has been given. it is who i am. it matters to me. that's what counts.
and get yourself to a professional to help you with those dark thoughts. been there. not a fun place to be..
hope to hear from you soon.