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ciderTROLL
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 10/24/2006 7:26 PM (GMT -7)   
My apologies to all concerned. Ironinic really since I've not been added to the forum. I could have sworn that I was honest at the outset. Maybe I should have stated that I am somewhere between atheist and agnostic. Hell no! I might even be an anarchist. I don't practice the teachings of the bible but I have read it- I didn't burst into flames either. Philosophy to me is probably in the realms of Darwin originally. If you want a truly objective foundation to base your life on then try Richard Dawkins, Mr. Hitler, Siegmund.. er.. 'whats his name' and several other misguided individuals. I shall not contaminate this forum again and apologise for upsetting anyones sensibilities. I rely on myself for guidance- flawed though it might be- and responsibilty lies with myself. I don't need someone to blame. She probably hates me for it but my Wife is my rock.
 Find whatever comfort you can and remember to keep your mind open not only to other people but other ideas too. Communication has no limits even if society does.
 
 
Message from Forum Moderator (CounterClockwise):
Sorry Cider, but some of this post was pushing the boundaries again and I had to edit the part concerned. You did not upset my own sensibilities, but you must bear in mind that readers can be of all ages and persuasions, and that there are rules to ensure that the site remains supportive. I am not trying to censure *you* as an individual, but I have had to *censor* some of what you have written. Please review the rules (especially # 2, 12 and 13) and make sure that you work within them. In fact you *are* a member of the forum as soon as you register, and I hope that you will post again when you are comfortable with the rules and the fact that this is a support forum. Best, Rosie x

Post Edited By Moderator (CounterClockwise) : 10/25/2006 2:54:38 AM (GMT-6)


CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 10/25/2006 1:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi Cider,

Please do note the message I left you in your original post for this thread.

It sounds like things are bad with you at the moment: you seem to be fighting the world and I feel for you in that. Are you getting help with this (other than your wife and here)? Have you been to a psychiatrist recently? I don't like seeing you in so much distress when there are so many sources of help out there.

Best,
Rosie x
********************

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...

********************

 
Moderator, Bipolar Forum


wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 10/28/2006 7:47 PM (GMT -7)   
cider,
 
WHAT IN THE HE** DID YOU DO?  i read one of your posts and thought that your spiritual concepts were different from many but not that far from mine (i am jewish).
 
i found your post enlightening and very interesting.
 
you never offended me and i doubt if you offended very many on this forum.  i have learned in my 60 yrs on this earth that you cannot help but offend someone if you make any statment - even commenting on the weather.
 
please keep your sensibilities and your belief systems - as long as they support you.  you are truely blessed with you wife - i have one who is truely a saint.
 
noone can ever force you to do anything in this world.  i just truely hope that you will continue to stay on this forum.  i believe that there is a lot that we can learn from each other.
 
warren

ciderTROLL
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 10/29/2006 3:56 PM (GMT -7)   
The only two people I need to address this to is the 'pretty but thorny' and 'rabbit home'. I am in a quandary because I like peoples company but I don't like people. It probably makes me second class because I have spent a lot of my life reading books that serve no function to me spiritualy but have given me the tools to recognise patterns in people- from all walks- and draw my own conclusions. I think I am normal. I live by the credos(?) that we all weigh the same on the human scales. People are either bigoted or delusional but you can only give medication for one type and they are generally the ones who are suffering. I consider the other type as self medicating on life regardless of the consequences because society says it is 'OK'-nay positively desirable to be selfish without consequence. My sweet smelling moderator we are now both venturers into hypocrisy. Or is that me being unfair? Sinceretity cannot be a habbit or repetition. It makes me think of counsellors. 'Habbit?'-rabbit?. Warrens. I say again I am truly opinionated, obnoxious and down right nasty. Worse than that I don't care. No one else does so why should I? I love conversation but come 'X' certificate- not for minors. Rant? Rage? Blaspheme? Bring it on.

CounterClockwise
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 10/29/2006 5:56 PM (GMT -7)   
Cider --

I'm sorry you doubt my sincerity. My concern was genuine. I think you need to see your psychiatrist/psychologist and get help with what you're fighting.

As for the rules part, I'm afraid they are simply *the rules* and we have to abide by them and respect the reasons for this forum being provided. Further than that, I'm not going to engage on the subject here. As I said previously, if you are unclear about the whys and wherefors, you are welcome to email me (or indeed the Forum Administrator) to gain further clarification.

I will continue to edit out anything x-rated or otherwise contravening the Forum Rules because that's part of the job I've undertaken to do. I hope you can work with that.

Rosie
********************

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...

********************

 
Moderator, Bipolar Forum


ciderTROLL
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 10/30/2006 3:23 AM (GMT -7)   
Rosie- once again I find myself saying sorry. Sincerest apologies that you think I doubt your concerns or genuineness. Simple answer is I don't. This forum to me is something that probably already has helped me in that it teaches me self control. Granted I'm not doing wonderfully well in that department at the moment but one of the hardest things I find about my condition is the sheer selfish nature brought on by the introversion. Add medication that makes it hard for me to care about anything outside of myself and sincerity becomes sinecure. The trouble is though that the emotions are muted but I still have observation and intelligence- high and low respectively- to see other people coping. Generally speaking I find other 'humans' painful to be around because they make me feel so much less, and that's only the 'bad' ones. Put me in the company of a 'good' one and I am proverbially Sodomized! Being cynical is a curse that I convinced myself was a protection. Bad enough that it hurts other people but absolute torture if you start applying it to yourself- hence here I am. Trying to keep both coping and changing at the same time. But all of you out 'there' know that- don't you?

wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 10/30/2006 4:30 AM (GMT -7)   
cider,
 
glad that you decided to get on hw and read the thead that you started.  i understand liking people but not wanting to be around them.  my wife is probaably right when she says that i make them feel uncomfortable.  people are idiots!   people believe whatever pap they are fed.  does anyone remember candidate g w shrub catagorically stating in a debate with al gored that "i will never enter into any armed conflict without a definite exit strategy?"  yeah right.  or that same candidate chastizing mr clinton for "nationbuilding.?"  what are american kids fighting for in afganistan and iraq?
 
i am probably older than you and, therefore have been a cynic longer.  but you have cynicism backwards.  if something goes poorly a cynic can say, "yep. just what i expected."  and if something goes well a cynic can say, "well i'll be dam*ed!"  that's why cynics are the happiest people in the world.
 
someone once said that if a man eached the age of 20 and was not a cynic he didn't know enough and that if a man reached the age of 18 and was a cynic he knew too much.  i've been a cynic all my life. tongue
 
words are symbols (my degree in linguistics showing up).  we are able to communicate with them because people have a "common core of shared meaning."  communication usually happens through this common core.  but ask rosie what a "rubber" is.  in america we call it an eraser.  in aussieland the word has a totally different meaning. 
 
taboo words are totally cultural.  in white america the word "bast*rd" is not realy taboo.  white men often use it as a greeting, "how ya doin' ya old bast*rd."  in black culture this same word is considered ude and crude and is definitalely taboo.  the keyboard police in hw would not let me use the word "qu**r" when i was citing an old jordie (england) phrase, "there's naught so qu**r as folk."
 
given all of this educated cr*p, what does it have to do with the price of eggs at a&p?  even though taboo words and concepts are cultural, we conform to a standard (hypocritical though it is) in order to get along.  god knows i stretch the limits of rosie's tolerance and the keyboard police!  with practice this can actually be quite fun.  try it.  you'll like it.
 
oh, yeah.  cider, you're not old enough to be opinionated.  i've got the market cornered.  it's ok to be blasphemous, nasty, or anything else you want to be.  the problem you are having seems to be that you don't think anyone cares.  i used to think that giving my word was meaningless.  i would promise people anything and deliver crap.  then my therapist called me on it.  i said the same thing thing you said, "why should i keep my word?  nobody else does and nobody cares."  she then hit me with one of the greatist gifts i have ever been given.  "you do it because of who you are and because it's important to you."  that was about 25 yrs ago.  in those 25 yrs i have given my word a lot less but i have honored it every time it has been given.  it is who i am.  it matters to me.  that's what counts.
 
and get yourself to a professional to help you with those dark thoughts.  been there.  not a fun place to be..
 
hope to hear from you soon.
 
warren

ciderTROLL
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 14
   Posted 10/30/2006 9:32 AM (GMT -7)   
Warren, where could I possibly start? A brief history might suffice to clear some of the confusion on this end. You are indeed older than myself, a mere sprog at forty, but with no intention of disputing your claim to the crown of either cynicism or opinions I must beg to differ that age matures either. I view both as akin to education and wisdom. Anybody can become educated but you can't learn to be wise. Your curious perception of cynicism with regards to something going poorly or well made me chuckle as being a realist will lead to the same conclusions. As you might have guessed I am an Englishman and have served in both Afghanistan and Iraq aswell as a couple of others. I have spent twenty one years in Her Majesty's Navy serving in the 'silent service' (think of the Beatles song about a yellow one). I haven't the faintest idea what anyone is doing over there but I do know that politicians have something to do with it. 'Us' armed forces types just do what we're told. It was a peculiar sensation when you mentioned that my spiritual concepts were not far from yours- you being Jewish and me an atheist- but I finally pinned it down to being flattered. When I bought Mein Kampf to read the lady behind the counter looked disgusted with me initially before she resignedly informed me that it was one of their best selling books. The back cover carried the declaration that it was the most evil book ever written. I would dispute that- I can think of at least three others straight away. They are just words on a page. It is the motivation behind the person reading it that is truly evil. With an open mind and relatively clear conscience anyone can read anything. It's unhealthy not to as far as I can see. Was it reading that helped to turn my thoughts black? No. Just people. I consider myself to be a 'pure' cynic living in a cynical world full of cynics in denial, living a dream that comes in the dictionary as avarice. Blast! Those pesky black thoughts just keep coming- "Yep. Just what I expected."
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