I haven't been on in a while but need some advice, assurance, help....something..
I am married, trying to have a baby,,,,,and have come off my Lamictal in order to do so. I have been off my Lamictal since July but am still on Lexapro....I am not struggling with deep depression, which is more normal for me,,,,,,,
I am struggling with being bored with my life and changing my mind every few minutes, thinkingone minute I want to have a baby and then the next I don't BECAUSE I think I need to get a divorce and am afraid of getting trapped in my marriage...this is crazy, b/c I don't want to go out and meet someone else or think I am missing something,,,,,,,,, I miss the CRAZINESS I used to have.....the meaningless sex, drinking and partying equal freedom and independence to me----which I know logically is not what I need.....I am about to turn 30---have been on both sides of the fence---I have sown my oats....but I am CRAVING excitement and passion and craziness---- I want to have a secret life--an affair---something to spice things up--that is what goes through my head constantly--I have even dreamt about it......(and in my dream the after math guilt was there as well)))
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME AND HOW DO I DEAL WITH IT???
Is this normal? Does it mean I have a boring life and there is something better out there OR is this a symptom of some hypo mania and if so how do I deal with it without going back on a mood stabilizer---so I can get pregnant/// Should I get pregnant or is this a red flag that I should take off? My husband is supportive and sweet and tries his best, but it is like there is nothing he can do to please me---I just get irritated---
That's why I think it is me!!
PLEASE--ANY ADVICE WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED!!