hello kenny. welcome to healing wekk and to the bp forum. i have found this forum to be a wonderful dysfunctional family. i hope that you do. too.
kenny, only a psychiatrist (we shorten this to pdoc) can diagnose bp. it is a hard illness to diagnose bacause most people with bp (like myself) are in a depressive state most of the time and present this to the dr. the dr seldom sees the manic side, for the reason, a diagnosis may take several sessions.
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...********************
Wow! All I can say is bi-polar bites big time. Anxiety, anger, very few truly happy moments, feeling like crap, and yes I can count 5 times in the past few weeks where I couldn't remember where I parked my car. Helpless? I've been feeling like my life doesn't matter for about 4 days. Make yourself call your doctor or tell someone - anyone that you feel so bad you want to end your life. You will find someone who cares. The people on this site care as do I and we can hold each other and rock away the fear. The most important thing is to keep hounding your doctor/doctors if they have prescribed meds for you and they are not working. I'm on the phone with my doc all the time. It's scary taking medication and trusting a doctor's judgement - but sometimes the alternative is even scarier. I personally would rather be medicated - don't get me wrong I see a therapist too. Talking things out is important - sometimes it's easier to pop a pill but this afternoon I bit the bullet and let out some tears and some very carefully thought out words to a close family member. Sometimes feelings are a good thing but when your are communicating them make sure you say what you mean and mean what you say. It is very difficult for others to understand how the bi-polar mind works. In my case I feel things so strongly almost to the point of overexaggeration. But I'm tired of being left out. And if you are ever feeling left out I'll be here for you.