been taken advantage of

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Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 130
   Posted 11/26/2006 6:30 AM (GMT -6)   
my so called best friend  owes me a lot of money ive waited for over 3months now and she has not paid me a penny and said nothing to me about it,we knew each over for years when we were younger then lost contact in jan of this year we seen each other again and became close ive lent her money evvery now and then quite a bit every time ive started to think i may never see it again ive been high every time i know shes got money because she has two kids and shes been splashing out on them and herself i dont know what to do i know i should just ask for it but to shy.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 11/26/2006 9:56 AM (GMT -6)   
i think it was a greek philosopher who said, "a man who reaches the age of 30 and is not a cynic doesn't know enough and a man who reaches the age of 20 and is a cynic knows too much."  cynics are the happiest people in the world.   when something goes wrong they can say, "i told you so." and if things go well they can say, "wow!" 
so it is with lending money to family and friends.  whenever i lend money to them i consider it a gift.  if i get it back wonderful. if i don't, oh, well.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1529
   Posted 11/26/2006 12:15 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Gaz,

Does your friend know about the bp? Does she know what's possible when you're manic? If not, you should explain this to her. This may help you to ask for your money back. -- After all, if she's seen you happily handing over the dollars, she think you have them to spare. If she's a true friend, she'll feel awful when she realises that this wasn't the case.

In fact, it's worth telling a few close friends and family that you are susceptible to throwing money around when manic: that way they can help you at those times.

Let us know how you go!

Rosie x

People are not like fish: they do not work well battered.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded...


Moderator, Bipolar Forum

Regular Member

Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 215
   Posted 11/27/2006 2:26 AM (GMT -6)   
You are female, you have been diagnosed with bipolar. Do you do about anything to feel like you are a "good" and worthwhile person? Does this include giving your friend money?

Let me tell you a secret. You ARE a good person, just like you are. You don't have to do a thing to prove it!!

I'd ask her for the money back, it was a loan. I'd not lend her any more money, it doesn't appear it was need, but rather want. I am a little worried that she knows your vulnerable spots and is pushing your buttons to her advantage.

I make a point not to lend money if I can't afford for it not to be repaid. If I can afford to go without it, and it is need...I give it. Otherwise, you work for your money and you deserve all of its benefits.
The Lady Dragonfly
Yes, it was me...I know because I was there when I did it. Lupus sufferer, bipolar II sufferer. Currently on Indocin for chronic pericarditis related to lupus, and cherishing every deep breath without pain. Currently in graduate school for mental health counseling, class of Fall 2007. Vegan and loving it!

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