my heart is broken

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karfaye
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 11/26/2006 10:05 PM (GMT -7)   
my 34 year old son has had anger issues since he was very young.  he now suffers with anger and depression, alcohol abuse and gambling problems.  he shop lifts, alot and spends money, beyond his means.  he is divorced with 2 sons and is now remarried with a baby on the way.  he does not see his sons, mostly because of his anger issues....and i do not blame his ex-wife for that. he has been on an antidepressant for a few years. he met his present wife, 2 years ago,  it seemed as if he overcame his anger issues.  they bought a house and he was busy remodeling, to the point i had to tell him to slow down.  everything was good until 2 months ago, when his wife announced she was pregnant.  he started going out without her, staying out all night,  drinking and gambling, and running around with other women.  he even told me he met someone, as if i would be happy about that, when he has a pregnant wife at home.  i have taken his wifes side, which really upset him.........  he called me and yelled and cursed, very hurtful things to me and said he does not want anything to do with me, anymore. he has threatened suicide when he is drinking.  this is just the tip of the iceberg.......i could go on and on.  i have tried to tell him he needs help......but he does not think he does........it is everyone else that needs help.  nothing is ever his fault.  does he sound like he could be bipolar?  how do i go about trying to get him help........his psychiatrist says there is nothing we can do until he hurts himself or someone else.  

ran-down
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 11/27/2006 8:11 AM (GMT -7)   
There's a lot there that sounds familiar to my situation with my wife.  Especially the part that he says he found someone new and he thought he could tell you and you'd be happy for him.  They don't believe they're doing anything wrong when they're in a state of mania.
 
If he is Bp and was put on a anti depressant it could make his situation worse.  Also srtess like a pregnancy I believe could set it off.  My wife and I was trying to get pregnant and we couldn't, she started taking the drug clomid and she quit, I believe that's what set her off into a mania state.
 
I got my wife into counseling but I had to wait until she was depressed again to be able to talk to her about it.  When she was in her mania stage there was nothing wrong with her and she didn't need to see anybody.  When she was depressed she was more than willing to see somebody.
 

karfaye
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 11/27/2006 9:10 AM (GMT -7)   
i have gone through so much with him......but, it is still hard to do the tough love thing. how is your wife doing now? my daughter-in-law got a 2 week protection order against him. then, they go back to court......

ran-down
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 11/27/2006 11:22 AM (GMT -7)   
She's been to the counselor once.  I'm going to the same counselor and I talked my wife into seeing her after I went.
 
My wife hasn't told me anything yet about her session, but the counselor did tell me a few things.  The counselor said that she told my wife she believes she has bipolar and my wife agreed to seeing someone so she could start being put on medication.  I don't know when my wife is going to start or anything.
 
I talked to my wife today and she seemed really down.  Although I get talking to her and I can see her mood change as we talk.
 
I'm currently separated from my wife because of some things she did and was doing when she went into her mania state.  I talked to people and I felt like I had to protect myself financially from her because I was afraid she was going to lose everything the way she was going.
 
I basically came to these forums because I was looking for information.  There's a huge piece of me that wants to work it out with my wife, and I'm curious just how much she's going to change once she gets treatment.
 
My wife says she no longer loves me, she just loves me as a friend.  She's been unwilling to try and work out the marriage at all.  I'm too am curious how she's going to respond once she starts getting treatment.

karfaye
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 11/27/2006 9:54 PM (GMT -7)   
my daughter in law tried to get a court order today, so he would have to be hospitalized, she was unsuccessful.....the judge would not grant the order. he did not feel there was enough to commit him. HOW IGNORANT. if he hurts someone or hurts himself, then she can do something!!!!!! He blames me for everything. His exwife called me today to tell me he called her yesterday, aplogizing for the hell he put her and the kids through. she said he was very nice, not yelling or cussing, as he is well known to do. i don't understand why he did that. i hope everything works out for the best for you and your wife.
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