husband recently diagnosed

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

doles
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 11/28/2006 10:22 PM (GMT -7)   
hi
I am new to all this... so please bear with me.  My husband was recently, on 10-29-06, involuntarily commited, because of delusional & psycotic thoughts he was having.  We have been together for 17 years, married for 10 & have two children 8 & 5.   He has only been home from the hospital  for 2 full weeks, and  is still in a somewhat manic state,  I think he was released far too soon & has only been on 1 med  Risperdol since 10-31-06.  In fact when he went to his PCP  the doc lowered his script from 3mg to 1 mg 2 x a day.????? I thought that was for a psyke dr to decide????   I thought, after reading lots of posts & seeing a docotor myself (to deal with all this)  that it takes time & sometime a change up to get the right med. & sometimes takes more than 1 to work.  He is having some side effects & every little thing  cough, sneeze, dry skin, stomach ache,  he is blaming on the meds.  He says the only reason he is taking them is because i am making him,  when in reality, the state is making him  not me.
 He does not see a therapist until this thursday & this will be the 1st session since hospitalized.  He said in family therapy while in front of dr's & me.   that he would welcome my support & help to "GET THINGS NORMAL"  but every time I suggest something he gets very angry,  for example,  i asked him if he could write his moods down on the calander & he flipped out at me  & said why dont i do it  cause i am the one that always is telling him how he feels.  He doesn't seem to be able to help me with any household duties & has racked the bills up  $4000 in 3 months time.  He is back to work & also has alot of side work,  but feels he needs to keep "HIS" money in his own checking account.  I have taken care of the household budget & bills cause I am the one with the corrected good credit.   He made sure he took care of the 2 missed payments of his truck (which is the only bill in his name only) & I know it will take time to catch up.
i am just having a really hard time dealing with it all.  Why should I jhust sit back & take his nasty tone of voice,  why should I be the sole caretaker of our 2 children, he does not even help write the bills,  although he said he would help with all of this in our family sessions while in the hospital.
 
i could prioably write a 200 chapter hard cover  factual book about the things that have happened in the past 3 months, but that would take too long so thanks for letting me vent alittle & please someone tell me it will be all good in time!
peace to all !
Kelly
 

LadyDragonfly
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 215
   Posted 11/29/2006 5:42 AM (GMT -7)   
If he is still manic, the medication is not working. Risperdol, if I remember correctly, is an antipsychotic, not a mood stabilizer. Bipolars need mood stabilizers.

If he is blaming the medication for every little difficulty, he is not really ready to see his illness for what it is. Part of the resistence is being viewed as a "mental case." Bipolar is NOT a mental illness, not by strict definition. It is a medical illness, much more akin to diabetes. It has been treated daily and carefully monitored, just like diabetes. I have had more than one psychiatrist tell me this, so I am not just talking out of the side of my face here. This is something your husband needs to know. He is not mentally ill, his body just needs help to be all that he can be. His brain chemistry is just deviated from the norm, it is physical. Without the right medications, others will think he IS mentally ill and well, he would not want that, would he?

I'd tell him that ohh that symptom could be the medication. If that is the case, we need to find you a psychiatrist and get you something that works better, how about it? Call your insurance company and ask for a psychiatrist who is well versed in bipolar I and bipolar II disorder. Go with him. If you focus on "I want him to feel better and be able to work and be there for our family" versus "fix his mental illness" you'll get more cooperation from your husband. Make it clear that you believe this is a physical problem like diabetes or high blood pressure. It is all in how you frame this for your husband.

Lastly, you are doing the right thing in getting yourself up to speed on bipolar disorder. You are outside of this illness and education gives you the best chance for coping with what is ahead of you.
The Lady Dragonfly
Yes, it was me...I know because I was there when I did it. Lupus sufferer, bipolar II sufferer. Currently on Indocin for chronic pericarditis related to lupus, and cherishing every deep breath without pain. Currently in graduate school for mental health counseling, class of Fall 2007. Vegan and loving it!


doles
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 11/29/2006 11:54 AM (GMT -7)   
HI LADY DRAGON FLY!
 
THANKS FOR YOUR VERY WISE SOUNDING ADVICE IN YOUR POST.  I APPRECIATE ANY HELP COPING WITH ALL OF THIS,  AS I SAID, I AM SO NEW TO ALL OF THIS & CONFUSION SETS IN VERY EASILY.
 
MY HUSBAND DOES HAVE HIS 1ST "THERAPY" APPOINTMENT TOMORROW 11-30-06 WITH THE FACILITY LINKED WITH OUR INSURANCE & REFERRED BY THE PSYKE HOSPITAL  WHEN HE WAS RELEASED.  THE PROBLEM I HAVE WITH IT, IS THE PERSON HE IS SEEING IS NOT EVEN A PSYCHIATRIST NOR A PSYCOLOGIST, HE IS A MSW (master social worker)  WHICH I KNOW IS AWESOME FOR THERAPY,  BUT WILL HE SEE THE FRONT, & REFER HIM TO THE "right" DOCTOR FOR HIS PROBLEM???  MY HUSBAND TOLD ME HE DOES NOT WANT ME TO GO WITH HIM TO HIS APPOINTMENT NOW,  HE TOLD ME HE IS GIVING ME NO DISCLOSURE TO HIS THERAPIST,  I ASKED WHY THE CHANGE OF MIND (earlier he told me he wanted me to be a part of everything) HE SAID BECAUSE HE MIGHT NOT WANT ME TO KNOW SOME THINGS THAT ARE TALKED about.    I JUST WNAT HIM TO TELL THE TRUTH & IF HE DIDN;T FULLY TELL THE TRUTH WHILE HOSPITALIZED  WHY WHOULD HE NOW??  
 
I ALSO HAVE READ THAT BP REQUIRES ANTIPSYCOTIC FOR THE MANIC STAGE & A MOOD STABILIZER,  HE IS SO AGAINST TAKING MEDICATION & MADE THAT VERY KNOW WHILE "IN".  WHEN HIS DR CALLED ME..  SHE EXPLAINED THE RISPERDOL TO ME & SAID IN SOME CASES IT IT USED MONO.
THEN SHE CONTINUED TO INFORM ME about DEPAKOTE & HOW HE WOULD BE STARTING THAT,  BUT BY THE END OF THE CONVERSATIOIN SAID NO  WE WILL KEEP HIM ON THE RISPERDOL & SEE HOW THAT WORKS.
 
I DO BELIVE HE THINKS HE CAN WILL THIS ALL AWAY & THAT IS WHAT SCARES ME.  IF HE GOES THROUGH ANOTHER MANIC EPISODE AS SEVERE AS THE RECENT ONE,  911 WILL BE CALLED & THEN HE WILL NOT HAVE  FREE WILL.  IF HE GETS AGGRESIVE AGAIN WHAT CHOICE DO I HAVE??
 
I JUST WISH HE WOULD READ UP ON THE DISORDER, LEARN about IT &  GET ON SOME OF THESE MESSAGE BOARDS & SEE FOR HIMSELF THAT  THERE IS NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED about, THAT ALTHOUGH THIS IS A LIFELONG THING  IT IS TREATABLE & MOSTLY CONTROLLABLE.
 
ANYTIME I BRING ANYTHING UP RELATED TO THE ISSUE  HE GETS ANGRY, LEAVES THE ROOM & ASKES ME WHEN I GOT MY DEGREE ?  HE GETS VERY COCKEY & STANDOFFISH.
HE SAYS WHAT MAKES YOU SO INTELLIGENT & ME SO STUPID  HIS EXACT WORDS.  I IN NO WAY DEGRADE HIM
about HIS DIAGNOSIS,  I DO DISAGREE WITH HIM THOUGH THAT HE CAN NOT WILL IT AWAY & THAT HE HAS TO REALIZE THAT HE IS NOT WELL.
 
ANYWAY GOTTA  GET BACK TO WORK 
THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP AGAIN
I WILL FILL YOU IN AS TIME GOES ON
 
STILL CONFUSED
 
 
 

LadyDragonfly
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 215
   Posted 11/29/2006 8:20 PM (GMT -7)   
I am afraid I don't agree with social workers doing therapy UNLESS they have an actual degree in COUNSELING.

Social workers are taught about systems, not about the inner workings of the mind. They don't have counseling credentials like a Masters in Counseling has. Most MSW degrees do not require any courses in counseling. I am not degreed (yet to have a Master's in counseling), but I have more coursework in counseling now than an MSW has with the degree. I have witnessed some of the most horrendous "counseling" and damage done at the hands of MSW. I would not send my dog to one for therapy.

Counselors are taught to deal with resistant people like your husband. I still say there is more than bipolar in this, if that is the case, medication will not be enough.

You have a lot to deal with and I hope you find the answers you are seeking.
The Lady Dragonfly
Yes, it was me...I know because I was there when I did it. Lupus sufferer, bipolar II sufferer. Currently on Indocin for chronic pericarditis related to lupus, and cherishing every deep breath without pain. Currently in graduate school for mental health counseling, class of Fall 2007. Vegan and loving it!


doles
New Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 11/30/2006 7:49 AM (GMT -7)   
GOOD MORNING!!
 
I AGREE WITH YOU THAT MY HUSBAND SHOULD BE SEEING MORE THAN A MSW. & I AM HOPING HE TALKS TO ME TODAY (HE IS THERE RIGHT NOW) about ALL OF THIS.  HE ACTUALLY BELIEVES HE IS SEEING A PSYCHIATRIST TODAY,  BUT WHEN I SPOKE TO THE CENTER, I ASKED TO SPEAK TO THE DR. SCHEDULED TO SEE HIM (THIS WAS 2 WEEKS AGO)
HE TOLD ME HE IS MSW  TRAINED IN DUAL DIAGNOSISED PATIENTS.   HE SUGGESTED I COME TO THE APPT W/ MY HUSBAND, BUT LIKE I TOLD YOU BEFORE, MY HUSBAND DID NOT WANT ME THERE.  I NEVER DID TELL HUSBAND THAT I KNEW IT WAS NOT A PSYKE DR. HE WAS SEEING TODAY, I JUST TOLD HIM TO VERIFY WHEN HE GETS THERE WHAT KIND OF DR. HE WAS. 
 
THANKS FOR THE TIP ON BPD (I POSTED ON ANOTHER THREAD BY ACCIDENT ACTUALLY & YOU ANSWERED)  I AM IN THE PROCESS OF RESEARCHING THAT NOW.  
 
I ONCE AGAIN  APPRECIATE ANY HELP YOU CAN GIVE!
 
HAVE A GREAT DAY
 
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Thursday, December 08, 2016 4:58 AM (GMT -7)
There are a total of 2,734,571 posts in 301,223 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 151342 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, Auroracousland.
270 Guest(s), 5 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
bigecase, BreRosie, hypoHashimoto, Traveler, Steve n Dallas


Follow HealingWell.com on Facebook  Follow HealingWell.com on Twitter  Follow HealingWell.com on Pinterest
Advertisement
Advertisement

©1996-2016 HealingWell.com LLC  All rights reserved.

Advertise | Privacy Policy & Disclaimer