When do I feel "normal" again?

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Jade11
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 105
   Posted 12/6/2006 10:44 PM (GMT -7)   
 
So, I have had bipolar disorder and have been treated for it for 3 and a half years.  The  meds help so that chemicals in my brain are balanced enough so that I don't get manic or majorly depressed.  I function well enough where I don't have any major symptoms and I hold a steady job and am finishing up college. 
 
However, in way I don't exactly feel completely healed.  Just having bipolar seemed to cause problems of its own.  There is a huge stigma with having bipolar disorder.  I know that I should be able to not care that other people don't understand this.  However, sometimes I can't help feeling like a freak because I have bipolar disorder.  I know it's not my fault that I have this. Yet other people could judge me as a person if they knew I had it.  It seems like almost everyday I think about how I have this, and in some way struggle with some aspect of it.  I have been treated for bipolar disorder with meds, but I don't think meds can really help me deal with this part of it.  Sometimes I wonder when I will feel normal again.  I just don't want to be thinking like this for the rest of my life.  And in a way I geuss it does come down to the way I think about this and how I cope with it.  Do other people struggle with this, and what helps?
 

sukay
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 1432
   Posted 12/7/2006 8:38 AM (GMT -7)   

Dear Jade,

I'm sorry for how you are feeling. I know I always use the same line on this board but, are you seeing a therapist? I have found that to be a tremendous help to me for sorting out my thoughts and getting some type of direction in my life on how to deal/pursue with things.

I have been struggling with bi-polar for 2 years now and I never felt normal and always wondered if I would ever feel normal again. Like you I tried many meds and thought I found the right cocktail but I just felt like my life was missing something. That went on for a long time until I mentioned exacting how I was feeling to my pdoc. I told him I felt like I was doing okay with things but I just felt like something was missing in my life and I felt like I needed a little jump shot of something to help me get to where I felt I needed to feel complete.

We made another  med adjustment and I was feeling Great after a week. I thought I would never experience this Normal feeling ever again. But I made it! Also through lots of work with my therapist whom I see regularly. We still need to do some more tweaking with the meds but I am pretty happy were I am at right now and and hopeful that I will be back 100% soon. And if not I will continue the same road of keeping in contact with my pdoc and therapist. I felt the normal feeling again even if it was short lived. But that has given me encouragement to keep fighting to get it back.

Always be truthful with your pdoc and therapist. If you're not happy with things in your life, or you feel something is missing, make sure you tell them about it. There is always something they can do to do help. Don't settle for less.

All the best to you.

~Sukay~*


LadyDragonfly
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 215
   Posted 12/7/2006 1:25 PM (GMT -7)   
Other people are very judgmental with bipolar people. They just don't get it...bipolar is a MEDICAL illness akin to diabetes or hypertension. It is NOT a mental illness. Yet, if you tell someone you are bipolar they treat you like a complete and total mental basket case! It is uncalled for and demeans those of us who try to live with this disease as successfully as possible.

As for feeling normal again...perhaps you won't feel normal again. Remember, normal is a dryer setting, why would you aspire to be a dryer setting? Appreciate your uniqueness and your own special gifts. Bipolar is a gift in a way. I think we have an acute understanding of what happens when a person is at the mercy of their emotions. We have a lot to teach others about the depths of feeling and damage that can be done by being judgmental and unkind, and we have plenty to teach them about healing when it finally comes. We have a lot to teach the rest of the world about patience and the understanding of human diversity.

You can equate your differences to being "bad" or being "unique." In the world today, "different" is another word for "bad" and it just isn't true.

Appreciate yourself as you!
The Lady Dragonfly
Yes, it was me...I know because I was there when I did it. Lupus sufferer, bipolar II sufferer. Currently on Indocin for chronic pericarditis related to lupus, and cherishing every deep breath without pain. Currently in graduate school for mental health counseling, class of Fall 2007. Vegan and loving it!


Howlyncat
Elite Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 12/8/2006 9:55 AM (GMT -7)   
Great input all thanks so much
Lyn
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