I'm sorry for how you are feeling. I know I always use the same line on this board but, are you seeing a therapist? I have found that to be a tremendous help to me for sorting out my thoughts and getting some type of direction in my life on how to deal/pursue with things.
I have been struggling with bi-polar for 2 years now and I never felt normal and always wondered if I would ever feel normal again. Like you I tried many meds and thought I found the right cocktail but I just felt like my life was missing something. That went on for a long time until I mentioned exacting how I was feeling to my pdoc. I told him I felt like I was doing okay with things but I just felt like something was missing in my life and I felt like I needed a little jump shot of something to help me get to where I felt I needed to feel complete.
We made another med adjustment and I was feeling Great after a week. I thought I would never experience this Normal feeling ever again. But I made it! Also through lots of work with my therapist whom I see regularly. We still need to do some more tweaking with the meds but I am pretty happy were I am at right now and and hopeful that I will be back 100% soon. And if not I will continue the same road of keeping in contact with my pdoc and therapist. I felt the normal feeling again even if it was short lived. But that has given me encouragement to keep fighting to get it back.
Always be truthful with your pdoc and therapist. If you're not happy with things in your life, or you feel something is missing, make sure you tell them about it. There is always something they can do to do help. Don't settle for less.
All the best to you.