Trying To Make Things Work

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New Member

Date Joined Dec 2006
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 12/9/2006 8:52 PM (GMT -6)   

I am new here.

I was diagnosed Bipolar I in 2001. This came after a series of life altering events. I had been severly depressed for over six months when finally my boyfriend ( now husband) convinced me to go to the Doctor.

I have been in therapy for five years. Working very hard to live well with this disorder. Now at a time when I should be celebrating my strengths and return to life as it was before DX... My husband has all but given up on our relationship.( and me?) He told me that my illness drains him too much emotionally. I really don't understand this because I have been hard at work at this getting well business, for all of the five years. I was very sick for most of four years and he was always there. But as I got better he began to pull away and which each triumph, we grew further apart.

I feel defeated and am heart broken.

I am wondering if anyone has been where I am at and how they delt with things.

Thank you,
Butterfly Girl

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 6056
   Posted 12/9/2006 9:11 PM (GMT -6)   

Some men like to be Knights in shining armor and rescue us damsels in distress. When we can stand on our own two feet and make it, they somehow feel threatened. This has been my experience in my marriage. I suffer from chronic depression and when I finally got medication, therapy and started growing emotionally my hubby started distancing himself emotionally. I finally got to the point where I started my own successful business and a friend gave me a framed saying for the wall, "Behind every successful woman is Herself!" He really hated that thing!

We have talked about who needs whom in a relationship and worked it out but it was tough going for a while. We have been in and out of love, falling in love again on and off for 33 years. It's normal to go thru a time when one gets stronger and the other needs to adjust. It's possible that he needs a clinging vine type wife and now that you are strong... he's lost. Ask him. Talk about it if you can.

I hope you can get thru this. If not, please be strong and keep healing.
~ Jeannie

"People are like stained glass windows: They sparkle and shine when the sun's out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light within."

- Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 657
   Posted 12/12/2006 3:56 AM (GMT -6)   

Hi there Butterflygal , and welcome to Healing Well.

I think Jeannie's got it there , he couldn't cope with the fact that you didn't need to lean on him any more.

Be strong hun , you will be able to work through this.

Post anytime , we're here for you.

Take care ,

Smiler tongue

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