Please , tell him how you feel. Tell him that you need to take one day at a time , that you need to stay focused on the present as the future is too overwhelming right now.
You need to find a new therapist , so that you can get well. Only when you are well can you start thinking about babysitting again.
Let me know how you go ,
Take care ,
Ath , you're stronger than you think.
It's great that you had someone to call on who understands you (and that you had the courage to call them - in my worst times I never called/talked to anyone cos I thought they would think I was weak , I struggled through alone)
Stand up for yourself , if you can't do something you can say no - nobody owns you , you are your own person who has to make their own life choices no matter what others think.
Use your "screw them all" anger and turn it into the strength you need to get through this.
I wish you well ,