When do you tell your date you have bipolar?

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otterheart
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 1/6/2007 9:44 PM (GMT -7)   
I have been entertaining the idea of dating lately. It has been many years for me and my meds are holding me fairly steady. I just wonder; at what point do you tell the person you are dating that you have a bipolar disorder? I wonder if this means I'll have to get out a pamphlet with a short synopisis of the disease and then some literature on my med's and how they help me? And if they run, do I blame them? :-)

smiler
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 657
   Posted 1/7/2007 7:02 AM (GMT -7)   

Hi there otterheart ,

Welcome to Healing Well :-)

I really don't think you should be worrying about this right now - just go dating and enjoy yourself.

If someone likes you for who you are and gets to know you first , BP won't be a problem for them. But if you start with lecturing them on your condition and overwhelm them with information they're gonna run.

Take care and have fun ,

Smiler tongue


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DX : Bipolar , Panic Disorder , GAD , OCD.
 
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Ducky
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Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 3199
   Posted 1/7/2007 7:03 AM (GMT -7)   
Hey there otterheart... some people tell their dates first thing..that way they get everything out in the open.. And some people choose to wait to see where the relationship is going before they divulge any info like that.. I prefer the later of the two... If you go on a date and it just isn't "there" between you, then you don't have to go out with them again... but if you find someone you really like and want to continue to see, I would tell them, that way they know the signs and know what they are dealing with... If you find someone that is truly supportive, they will ask questions to become more familiar/comfortable with bipolar... Let us know what you decide...
Confirmed Diagnosis of - Psoriatic Arthritis/Spondylitis/Graves Disease/GERD/Scoliosis/Hiatal Hernia/Graves Disease of the Eyes/Chronic UTIs
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Ducky
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Date Joined Mar 2005
Total Posts : 3199
   Posted 1/7/2007 7:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Ha, smiler, we were posting at the same time! :)
Confirmed Diagnosis of - Psoriatic Arthritis/Spondylitis/Graves Disease/GERD/Scoliosis/Hiatal Hernia/Graves Disease of the Eyes/Chronic UTIs
Current Meds -  Enbrel/Prevacid/Synthroid/Nitrofurantoin
Past Meds - Inderal/PTU/Prednisone/Voltaren/Feldene/Mobic/Cortisone and Steroid Shots
Additional Supplements - Multi-Vitamin/Bromelian/Acidophilus/Green Tea
 


smiler
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Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 657
   Posted 1/8/2007 5:21 AM (GMT -7)   
tongue  
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DX : Bipolar , Panic Disorder , GAD , OCD.
 
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LadyDragonfly
Regular Member


Date Joined Nov 2006
Total Posts : 215
   Posted 1/8/2007 9:53 AM (GMT -7)   
I consider bipolar information to be "initimate" information and only shared with those I am on "initimate" terms with. My family knows, my best friends know, my acquaintences do not know about my diagnosis. I am in school, my advisor doesn't know. I don't tell my fellow students, unless or until bipolar illness is taught in a class. If it isn't covered, I don't tell. Sort of, don't ask, don't tell kind of a thing.

I say, go out, enjoy yourself, enjoy the company of others and don't worry. WHEN the right one comes along, they will be fine with it. You have come a LONG way in combatting your illness and in feeling good enough about yourself to go out and date, try not to worry...and umm HAVE FUN!
The Lady Dragonfly
Yes, it was me...I know because I was there when I did it. Lupus sufferer, bipolar II sufferer. Currently on Indocin for chronic pericarditis related to lupus, and cherishing every deep breath without pain. Currently in graduate school for mental health counseling, class of Fall 2007. Vegan and loving it!


Jade11
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2006
Total Posts : 105
   Posted 2/5/2007 9:05 PM (GMT -7)   
I told a guy that I was dating that I have bipolar disorder.  I told him only a few weeks into dating him.  He was fine with it, and liked me anyway.  However, I ended up breaking up with him for various reasons.  I haven't talked to my ex in a long time, but I now work with his sister.  Sometimes, I wonder if he told his sister that I have bipolar disorder.  Then if she does know, I wonder if she has told everyone at work that I have bipolar disorder.  I probably don't have anything to worry about.  Although, I never imagined that things would play out like this.  I now think that the fewer people that know the better it is.
 
With the next person that I date I don't know when I will tell him.  I know it for sure won't be right away.  Maybe it would be after he says "I love you".  Sometimes I think maybe I would wait until after he "pops the question".  Although that might be waiting a little too long.  I for sure wouldn't just tell someone that I have gone on just a few dates with.  I would at least wait until you are in a committed relationship. 

otterheart
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 2/6/2007 6:42 AM (GMT -7)   
yeah  Thanks Jade11. My impressions about "telling" have been confirmed in my recently former work situation. My boss "knew" I was bi-polar and says he did so because his mom was this way. He says he recognized several "quirky" attributes about me. He liked me very much and wanted to find money to make me his personal assistant however the money wasnt there for that and he had to let me go becuase I wasnt producing well enough in my sales dept. More and more I feel like I am never going to fit in anywhere and no med can fix it. I wouldnt tell a person I'm dating about my bi polar until we knew each other very well.
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