Is This Hopeless???????

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countrygal
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   Posted 1/17/2007 11:03 AM (GMT -7)   
 Are there any success stories for couples where one partner has Bipolar????
I use to have a handle on life ,But it broke!!!!


smiler
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   Posted 1/17/2007 11:30 AM (GMT -7)   

Well I know I posted to you before but I don't know if I told you that I have been with my partner for five years now (obviously I'm the one with BP).

I think we are doing just fine so I say yes to that :-)

Smiler tongue


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countrygal
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   Posted 1/17/2007 11:48 AM (GMT -7)   
 Thanks again smiler.It helps just to know someone is out there... :-)
I use to have a handle on life ,But it broke!!!!


wmnak
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Date Joined Jul 2006
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   Posted 1/17/2007 11:29 PM (GMT -7)   
gal,
 
yes, there is hope - but it takes saintly patience and love :-) .  i nam 60 yrs old and my wife is almost 65.  we have been together for over 35 yrs.  i am the one with bp, but it wasn't diagnosed until 2001.  she has stayed with me when I would have kicked myself to the curb (to quote dr. phil).  if that isn't saintly, i don't know what is.  she says it's patience and understanding.  i think she's nt telling the whole truth. tongue    she also kept with me when i acted exactly like your bf (based upon your other posts which i have commented on).  the other thing is that i acknowledge that i have a problem and am doing all that i can to help myself like learrning about the illness, findng good pdocs and taking my meds as prescribed.  also coming to this and other boards to share experiences and problems with others who have the same illness.
 
i can tell you stories about couples, just like yourself nd your partner, who did not make it.  the past moderater of this forum and her bf didn't make it (her bf was the one with bp). but it wasn't for lack of tryingon her part:  he refused to acknowledge that he had a problem and refused to take any action to help himself.  the former moderator is a real trooper and fantastic human being.  we haven't heard from her for a while and i pray to all the gods above and below that she is ok.
 
i hope that this has helped.  call it cautious optimism. 
 
all the best.
 
warren
That light at the end of he tunnel?  It's an on-coming train.
 
Some day you'll learn that a good bm is better than sex.
 
Insanity is defined as doing the same actions over and over again and expecting a different outcome.


countrygal
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Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 550
   Posted 1/18/2007 4:35 AM (GMT -7)   
 Yes I do know he needs to get help.I just hope being patient and letting therapist point it out is the right thing.Even if he is out of the home by then,as it could take some time.I know he will go into denial...Scared even tho he is a very easy going guy,if I tell him he will think I'm crazy,but not possitive,he may would quit wondering why he feels the way he does. Warren your posts have helped much in the past,and this one has also...Thanks much :-)
I use to have a handle on life ,But it broke!!!!


wmnak
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 1/19/2007 9:08 AM (GMT -7)   
thank you, gal. that mens a lot to me. boards are like shotguns. you put your thoughts out there and hope that a few hit the mark.

warren
That light at the end of he tunnel?  It's an on-coming train.
 
Some day you'll learn that a good bm is better than sex.
 
Insanity is defined as doing the same actions over and over again and expecting a different outcome.


COPSTER
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 1/19/2007 6:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey, i am 39years old. i have had a mental condition all my life. i only found out about it in 1999.
thank god my wife did not leave. i know my mind is not working right. my thoughts are not true and i know that. i don't know what to expect by saying that. mabey someone could relate

countrygal
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Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 550
   Posted 1/19/2007 7:33 PM (GMT -7)   
 Copster-Thank you for letting me know that.The great thing is you realize it in yourself.My husband very confused,does not understand why he feels this way.I hope when he realizes,I can help him thru this.But if he still wants to leave,I love him and still want him to get help.Good luck with all of what you are going thru.

I use to have a handle on life ,But it broke!!!!


Optimistik
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Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 1/19/2007 9:27 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey Smiler, this is Optimistik, I am so glad to hear that there are success stories out there like yours... I hope that my story ends up a success like yours as well. :-)

smiler
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Date Joined Sep 2006
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   Posted 1/20/2007 3:16 AM (GMT -7)   

Countrygal , I hope everything goes well for you hun :-)

Optimistik , glad to have eased your mind - there is light at the end of the tunnel :-)

Take care both ,

Smiler tongue


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DX : Bipolar , Panic Disorder , GAD , OCD , IBS.
 
If HealingWell.com has helped you in some small or big way, please donate and enable us to continue helping others find their way to "healing well" at http://www.healingwell.com/donate/
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countrygal
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Date Joined Jan 2004
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   Posted 1/20/2007 6:34 AM (GMT -7)   
 Thanks again smiler,all I can do is keep trying... :-)
I use to have a handle on life ,But it broke!!!!


COPSTER
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Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 1/20/2007 10:01 AM (GMT -7)   

Thanks for chiming in. I do not talk to my wife because I don't want her to really see how deep I am.She knows if I am not feeling well. But I don't want to go to my phycotheripist. If I just go on and struggle through it. I am also am scared that my doctor wants me to go into the hospital. I have a 4 yesr old boy and it would be very tough to go in. I am a stay home dad (best job in the world). I don't want to go in to deep just being new to the chat room. I don't know what I want from any body. mabey just venting. I feel like I need to apoligize for my action and what i write is not to heavy.


countrygal
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Date Joined Jan 2004
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   Posted 1/20/2007 10:18 AM (GMT -7)   
 I think you should write all your feelings and fears,when you feel like it as I think it helps me.And my son is exactly what keeps me going.I think thats what will help my husband with this in the long run.He loves our son very much...And would get help to help Cody or me,which will help him in the long run....Take care... :-)
I use to have a handle on life ,But it broke!!!!


wmnak
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 1/20/2007 3:41 PM (GMT -7)   
copster,
 
smiler usually gives the 'official' welcome to hw and this forum, but i'm here now and, unofficially, welcome you to hw and to this forum.  :-)    feel free to ask questions, post answers or your own experiences, rant, rave, or whatever.  we're here for you.
 
warren
That light at the end of he tunnel?  It's an on-coming train.
 
Some day you'll learn that a good bm is better than sex.
 
Insanity is defined as doing the same actions over and over again and expecting a different outcome.


COPSTER
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 1/20/2007 7:02 PM (GMT -7)   
It is good to know somebody is out there. I have a great support net, but I don't want to dissapiont anybody. I feel like I am being judged all the time. I do know that this is'nt what is real to me. They say that hell is being judged for my short coming day after day for eterity. My anxiety is off the scale. I am very manic and that whats get me into trouble. My wife will tell me that I am getting over the top. Then I do feel bad when I realize it. I am such a doof.

allie1644
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Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 47
   Posted 1/20/2007 11:24 PM (GMT -7)   

Copster - I am really happy that you have put your feelings on here. It's much easier, as you know, to talk to other people who are going through the same hardships as you are. But talk to your wife -- just because we can understand what you are going through doesnt mean we will be there for you always. Your wife will be. Bipolar Disorder is not something to be ashamed of or embarrased about. I bet your wife would love for you to come out with your true feelings. If you need any help through anything don't be afraid to email me.

For the original post =) I believe just living with BP is a success story. But, relationship wise, I have seen the good and the bad. My older relationship lasted 6 months and this was before I was diganosed. My ex helped me through everything I had a hard time with (and these were my horrible times so I don't know how he did it!) Once I was diagnosed, I got a new boyfriend that was very... indifferent to my disorder. He would change the subject erratically, and his mom would not let him drive with me because she thought my meds made me crazy in the head. It made me feel horrible.

 

But I realized that things will arise like that. The thing you need to know is that there will be many people that will not understand the disorder. But they are many who will =)

Take care Country Gal =) Good luck!!



"Stability is a place bipolar people only visit"
 
Bipolar II, rapid cycler, severe depression/hypomania, severe anxiety, and lifesaver- Shadley's Titan, nine-year-old reg. Quarter Horse Gelding.
 
Past: Depakote, Lexapro
Current: Lamictal, Abilify, Buspirome, Minocycline, omega 3, probiotics
 
 

Post Edited (allie1644) : 1/20/2007 11:38:44 PM (GMT-7)


countrygal
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   Posted 1/21/2007 6:11 AM (GMT -7)   
 Thanks alli I hope things are good for you now....

I use to have a handle on life ,But it broke!!!!


COPSTER
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 1/21/2007 9:05 AM (GMT -7)   
Thanks Allie 1644. It is very hard for me to express my feeling.One thing I learned from my grandfather, when you are mad , don't say anything. Once you say somthing, you can never take it back. My wife gets upset with me when we are talking, we don't fight. I say what's up,she say's what she want. then we go on. I am so lucky to have a wife that will stay and go through this crap I am going through. My wife and I met when I was 16, she was 13. We have been together 6 years, and she finally told me "marry in a year or I am leaving your but. We have been together ever since. Sorry I am rambleing. I am very manic and loving it. Of cource I am making everybody very tired. they can't keep up with me and my constant talking and ideas. And boy do I have good ideas. Sorry for going on and on.....Sometime I good, but when I'm bad I'm even better.

countrygal
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Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 550
   Posted 1/21/2007 9:22 AM (GMT -7)   
 I am glad for you.I wish my hubby could see I'm here for him.Right now he does'nt seem to care.And this is the longest hes ever been on a down...I wish he realized something is wrong.So glad you're on an up right now...Take care

I use to have a handle on life ,But it broke!!!!


COPSTER
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 1/21/2007 10:37 AM (GMT -7)   
There was a study done to evaluate the different jobs house wives (and house husban like myself)do on a daily work. The answer is......$132,000. I told my wife, I AM GETTING A NEW CAR!  I also tell my wife, if you get a boyfreind, there better be another check coming in to the household.  Having a funny lookout in life keeps me going.

countrygal
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Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 550
   Posted 1/21/2007 12:55 PM (GMT -7)   
 Your right humor does help.Today is kind of bad for me.Hubby is home from work,but I can tell hes way down and doesnt want to be here.He wont leave us without a car...he says when he gets us one at tax time,then he'll go.Meanwhile it makes me miserable to know he does'nt want to be here.I dont think I can fix this.I love him but will have to learn to let him go...we use to joke with each other,if you leave I'm going with you...I still will try to get him help,but can't keep going thru this pain...Take care...Keep smilin :-)
I use to have a handle on life ,But it broke!!!!


COPSTER
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2007
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 1/21/2007 4:01 PM (GMT -7)   
I have learnd that you have to love the person for who they are. We're not going to change them.  I have also a saying in life. If you can't forgive anybody then you will lead a bitter life.You're a bigger person if you forgive others  and just walk away. Sure I have been hit on, and called alot of names. But I have never hit a person in anger or anything thing else. That is one thing I am most proud of. Signing off in wimpee vill. 

countrygal
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Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 550
   Posted 1/21/2007 4:11 PM (GMT -7)   
 Thats me,I love him and want him happy.Meanwhile I don;t want to be sad all the time.I wish he would stay and let me help.But honestly if he wants to go.Maybe he should just go.I just hate to watch our son go thru so much pain...and he will blame himself...Take care...You have helped much copster...see you in future posts :-)
I use to have a handle on life ,But it broke!!!!


wmnak
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Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 1/21/2007 7:17 PM (GMT -7)   
gal,
 
have you ever heard, "i love you enough to let you go?"  meditate on it.  maybe it will help if he is determined to take a small vacation.
 
copster,
 
listen, friend, i've been through he** and it's not at all what you are imagining. :-)
 
warren
That light at the end of he tunnel?  It's an on-coming train.
 
Some day you'll learn that a good bm is better than sex.
 
Insanity is defined as doing the same actions over and over again and expecting a different outcome.


countrygal
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2004
Total Posts : 550
   Posted 1/21/2007 7:48 PM (GMT -7)   
 I don't know how you know exactly what to say.But it always makes me feel better...Thanks,I am working on that,and I know you are right you have been there... :-) And I was having a sad day...
I use to have a handle on life ,But it broke!!!!

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