Hello all, I am new here. I don't know where to start so I'll give a little insite to me.
I'm a mom. I have 4 kids and I'm raising them on my own. i didn't know I was bipolar until I took all of my kids and got on a plane and flew 2500 miles away from home, lost my mind, was put in a mental hospital and then flown back home. Thank God I was able to keep my kids.
I was also a self medicating bipolar. At first the pain pills made me feel normal and then they helped in trying to destroy my life. I eventually got straightened up from those and my therapist put me on 4 different meds for bipolar and 2 anti-anxiety meds. xanax and klonipine. Well, being the self medicating fool that I am, it wasn't long before I was also hooked on those as well. I became the typical addict, breaking the law and got in trouble and straightened myself up again.
Here I am today, unmedicated again because I moved to another county and cannot afford a regular therapist. The one the county wants me to go to says I make to much money to go there but I don't make enough to get another one. It's frustrating and complicated.
Anyway, right now I am really really depressed. During a manic episode, I packed up my house that I had worked so hard to redecorate, loaded up a u-haul and moved to this other county which is only 75 miles from my home town, but still, it's a move. Now, I want to come back and that causes a lot of anxiety as well because finding a new place is a real pain in the butt. Plus, I can do things really fast when I'm manic, but not so much when I'm depressed.
I also suffer from OCD and panic disorder. I guess I just need people who really understand me to talk to.
Sorry for babbling.