recently diagnosed with bipolar, add, adhd, anxiety

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New Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 3/6/2007 8:16 AM (GMT -6)   
I have recently been diagnosed with bipolar, add, adhd and anxiety and have been placed on Medical Leave from work.  I try so hard to disguise my "disease" as it makes my husband crazy and my husband has informed our 14 year old that mom is not feeling well.  I have been asked by my husband not to fill our son in on what is wrong with mom.  I have placed all credit cards, check books and have added a 2nd signer on all my accounts, so I will not have the power to spend.  I wake up everyday fighting.  I fight the disease, I take my meds, but I do not take time for me.  I get treated by a therapist and a shrink and it helps when I am there, but I come up and my husband makes some remark, what did you do all day.  He leaves things laying around to see if I will pick them up "since I am home all day"  My doc says it is to early to go back to work, becuase I am fighting the symtpoms and not letting the moods come and go, becuase I am afraid of my husband.  I have been job searching and have a few leads, but my doc says to let them go, other things will come along.  But my husband checks up to see if I have gone and is always checking in to see what I am doing.  I have had the suicidle thoughts because of the way he treats me, but I keep thinking of my 14 year old.  I am tired, but I can not rest because the laundry needs to be done, the floors need mopped, the bathroom needs cleaned, dinner needs to be made, no time for me.  I am lost and so confused.  I take interviews, becuase I cannot live with my husband telling me that he will not have a wife sit at home and collect any type of assistance becuase I am more than able to work.  He will not go to therapy with me and complains about the expense of the therapy.  Any advice that any one can give would be a appreciated.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 657
   Posted 3/6/2007 2:51 PM (GMT -6)   

I really feel that your husband isn't taking your diagnosis seriously , or , he cannot comprehend what you are going through and the enormous pressure he is putting you under.

He needs to be told. Marriage is understanding and helping one another , trusting and listening to one another - marriage is being part of a team , he is not helping the team to win. By doing what he is doing to you I feel he is helping you stay ill rather than get better/cope with your situation.

Maybe you could get your doc/shrink to speak to him - he needs to know that this is real and it cannot be swept under the carpet with some good old fashioned hard work.

Please take care hun and know that we are here for you.

A warm welcome to our BP family ((((lost_lonely))))

Smiler tongue

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New Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 3/6/2007 3:45 PM (GMT -6)   
tongue  Smiler,  Thanks for the welcome.  My husband does not want to understand what is going on with me.  He fills that regardless of what is going on, as you know the trials and tribulations of the medications, this has been the worst for me.  The doc has gone out of his way to right down what each medication does and why I am on it.   I take Paxil, Xanax, Seroquel, Lamictal, Ritalin SR and Klonopin.   It has been a rough road and now the doc feels he has gotten the right cocktail going and I am having better days, my husband feels I should be myself again.  I have been diagnosed with manic depression for years and after failed suicide attempts, I have the correct diagnosis and getting the right treatment.  Just becuase I have a few good days and then I have a bad day, my husband makes the remark "you must have forgotten to take your meds or you are just being lazy"  I have spoken with an attorney becuase I would like to go and stay with my parents for a week or two, just so I can rest and he advised against it because he feels that my husband's attorney would claim abandoment.  I have always suffered from more depression that the manic periods and I would say that here lately I would rather not be here on earth to stop the suffering.  I cannot stand the put downs, the comments that my wife stays home all day becuase she is "sick" or while you are home, take care of the laundry, make these phone calls, make sure dinner is ready.  My therapist and dr think this is causing me to regress and I will admit it is, but I am stuck and I have no idea how to get out.  BP bites and I really, really hate it right now.  Thanks

Elite Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 24909
   Posted 3/9/2007 1:47 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi there
So sorry you are going thru all of this
Smiler is spot on your hubby needs to take your Disease more seriously and NOT be putting you down ya know
I had a wonderful hubby but I felt I was keeping him trapped with all my illnesses and DD I made him leave he is 15 yrs younger and deserves to have a life
WE do love one another very much and perhaps when I have finally gotten the operation and some of the illneses under control I will be back with him
I am retired RN and NEVER would my hubby say a word to me about doing anything I also have OCD so my house feels dirty to me at times where there is not a dirty spot lol all in my head ya know
I had a hubby like that my teens father he was a control freak and took every ounce of my inner strenghth and self worth that I had and stomped oon it making me feel like a piece of crud
I finally broke thru this and left him when Cait was 2 opened up own retirement home and away I went never looking back :: sadly because odf DD I had to sell and retire but I have a great 10 yr memory bank
You cannot let him do this to you it is not right seems like he feels he can control you because you are sick not so hun.....
Is he that mean to charge you with abandonment if you went to parents house that is so sad
I cannot imagine how you must feel deep down BUT want you to know we are all here for you so please do post often and find the warmth caring luv and support the ppl and all have here in the " family"
Smiler is a good friend and a person who I feeel is great to have your back
I wish you all the best ...........
Take care.........
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New Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 6
   Posted 3/14/2007 7:01 AM (GMT -6)   
sad  Feeling very down today.  I am just so tired and my husband just does not seem to understand.  I cannot stand this anymore.  My therapist has me off work for another month and that is just causing my husband crazy.  He is not able to live in the life is accustomed to and he says that it is ruining his image.  I am doing everything that I can on my end.  But I think I would be better with out him.  I don't even like to be around me anymore.  He does not talk to me, he does not even offer support.  I have to go outside my own home to find support.  I am exhauasted all the time, becuase I worry about every step that I take and everything that I do.  I feel like I am in the witness protection program, hiding this and that, putting things in a safe deposit box or letting my parents hold onto things.  I just want to be loved, is that to much to ask.  My doc says that my cycles are getting worse because my  husband offers no support to me what so ever.  If anyone has any advice of what steps I should take, please feel free to respond.  Thanks eyes

New Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 3/17/2007 1:01 PM (GMT -6)   

I may be new to this site, but not to what you are going through. Explain it to your child, he will understand. My 13 year old did! It sounds like you have been in an abusive marriage for some time now and you need to get out! It doesn't sound so much like the BP is pulling you under as he is. You have to pull yourself up from under his grasp. Only you can bring happiness back to your life, but you need support along the way. You also need to remember what is best for your child. You want and need him to growup being understanding about MI. Good Luck!!


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