You can't be in a remission from a personality disorder. If it is gone, you have experienced a cure! Most counselors are taught to believe that one cannot cure a personality disorder, that they are ingrained and permanent. This is not the case. Healing is something that the sufferer has to want and they have to see that the way they function in the face of the personality disorder doesn't work and they can change. They DO change and it is not a remission, it is lasting. I suspect your counselor feels that these things are incurable, but she is incorrect.
I think that you know that you are not behaving the way you wish to towards your family is further proof of a cure of sorts with regard to your life. You need to see the psychiatrist because this is not working. A medication can make you feel better, but what does that count if it makes such a rift in your family as you are describing. You need a new medication.
You have to understand, as many of us on the bipolar board do, that medication is not an end all, not a cure, not even necessarily a permanent fix for the problem. We know not to look at 100% better, but perhaps at 75% better. We all know that we'll have to learn to control ourselves to make progress for what the medication doesn't help. It can be done. Progress, not perfection! That said, I think it is quite reasonable and intelligent to give a medication a shot for 8 wks and if you come unglued at the seams, it is not working, then go back to the doctor and be straight. Take your family in part or all and let them talk about it. They are a constant relationship for you and the doctor cannot be. THey have more insight into your medication and reactions than anyone else, even you.
Good luck and remember, you are not alone...we are here for you.
The Lady Dragonfly
Yes, it was me...I know because I was there when I did it. Lupus sufferer, bipolar II sufferer. Currently on Indocin for chronic pericarditis related to lupus, and cherishing every deep breath without pain. Currently in graduate school for mental health counseling, class of Fall 2007. Vegan and loving it!