I have so enjoyed reading the "You know you're Bipolar if..." posts! I needed a laugh today.
I was diagnosed with BiPolar about four months ago following a psychotic episode (precipitated by 2.5 years of anti-depressants which held me in a constant state of mania - - which, for me, is anxiety, irritability and nervousness). So while living my life being a homeschool mom and wife and was I struggling so hard and one eve, ran out the front door leaving my then 15 year old with my five year old. It was not unusual for my daughter to babysit. It's just that I neglected to mention I was leaving. I really felt the completely irrational fear that my children might be chasing me. Spent the eve hiding from my poor husband as he drove around our town looking for me. I mean hiding, literally, behind bushes, parked cars, etc. Strange, the whole time I kept telling myself I was acting ridiculous and really needed to go home and stop this silliness. I just couldn't though. My husband (who, by the way, is the most supportive loving person on the face of the earth) asked the Sherrif to look for me and they eventually found me and followed me till I got to my husband. Sheesh. My husband took me to a therapist then, when the cutting started, to a psychiatrist. I took meds (some very heavy seroquel, topamax - then lamictal and abilify) until I couldn't anymore. They made me sick, too sick to get out of bed. Hey, I have a life here. A family. So now I'm researching alternative forms of coping; cognative behavioral therapy, nutrition, exercise, light therapy, etc. Thing is, I'm really struggling. Leaning too heavily on the Ativan I have left over for the constant irritability. I am eating well and exercising though. I went back to the psych to discuss options but she was awful. I'm not sure she could have cared less about me and my boring little problem. I really need a doctor I can talk with - who will actually listen, with whom I can discuss treatment options that don't include massive doses of heavy drugs. Okay, I've just realized I am really rambling and spilled much more than I meant to bore everyone with on the first message. Sorry guys. Guess I'm a bit desperate for someone to identify with. Sheesh. Anyway. Hello all. :) My name is Chameleon (Tami really but I like Chameleon). I'm 42, married, homeschooling mom. Nice to "meet" you all. :)