Going back on meds - terrified

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olivia of course
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 3/26/2007 8:04 AM (GMT -7)   
I guess I have mixed feelings about this. Especially since I have been doing so well without meds, my moods are actually pretty leveled compared to how they used to be. I am doing good, and working really hard to find balance in things, and have been handling things better then I used to. Plus my attitude in life has changed since my last episode. I have even beer trying to work on the things that I thought would kill me in the past to deal with. I am almost back to normal, okay but this is probably the closest I will ever get.

I guess I am very scared to get back on meds because in the past things were out of control, with or without them. At times, things were worse on them, but I know if it isn't now it would be soon that I will have to get back on them. Plus, I am horrified of gaining all the weight back I just lost (20lbs in the last 2 months). In the past being on Lithium made it next to impossible to lose weight, but it was very easy to gain I must say.

Plus the pdoc also put me on Buspar for anxiety and Trazodone for sleep, but I heard that they do not have too much side effects and that made me feel a little better.

I am not having any hypomacic/manic or depressive symptoms at the momment, but my anxiety has shot through the roof. I guess that is a sign of a little insability right there.

Plus at the present moment I do not have a pdoc (or therapist), I just saw someone the other day just as a one time things. I am just scared of getting on meds but having no one to go to if problems arise. It sucks not having insurance and that's were I am.

Thanks for letting me express my fears :-)
@~ Olivia

"What is life? An illusion, a shadow, a story,
And the greatest good is little enough:
for all life is a dream, and dreams themselves are only dreams."
~ Pedro Calderon de la Barca, Life is a Dream

Post Edited (olivia of course) : 3/26/2007 9:09:46 AM (GMT-6)


gaz
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2004
Total Posts : 130
   Posted 3/26/2007 8:59 AM (GMT -7)   

hi olvia sounds like your doing quite well i myself have tried coming of meds numerous times usaualy stop them all together not reccomeded i go through phases when i think maybe this time i could do without meds always go back on them but this time i am trying again but properly this time syarted reducing lithium from 1200mg now taking 600mg my aim is to get of lithium all together been on it for 15 years then see what happens at the moment been feeling not bad for a week or so although i still dont think this depreesive episode is over been in it for over a year now i think your amazing getting of meds i would love to one day the idea of being med free is somthing i dream about whatever you choose to do good luck

gaz


olivia of course
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 3/27/2007 9:23 PM (GMT -7)   
I'm finally at peace with taking meds, i've come to accept it.
 
I guess I was a little nervous about getting side effects, especially with new meds that I have not taken before.  Plus, not having a pdoc to turn to made me nervous.
 
I am okay, it is now my 1st official day being back on meds, and so far so good.  I just have a bad headache from the Buspar, which I am hoping will go away once my body adjust to it.  I guess I freaked out a little because the pdoc I talked to has me on 30mg, even though I have never been on it before.
 
Also, I am supposed to take lithium (600 mg for 1 week), then 1200mg after that.  I was like wow that is a quick move up.  But at least I have taken it in the past and feel okay after worrying about it all night and pretty much half of the day.  And after calling 3 pharmacies to get an a-okay.
 
Overall, I am feeling good and hanging in there.  :-)
@~ Olivia

"What is life? An illusion, a shadow, a story,
And the greatest good is little enough:
for all life is a dream, and dreams themselves are only dreams."
~ Pedro Calderon de la Barca, Life is a Dream

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