i'm far from being a psychiatrist, psychologist,or even a therapist, but (there's always a "but" with an
opening like that
)i live with the problems of bp every day, just like everyone else in this forum. all that we can do is share our experiences and hope that somewhere is this morass there may be a pearl of wisdom that someone else here can use.
were you married to this person while they were in med school or during their internship? if not (perhaps also if you were) i recommend that you read robbin cook's "the year of the intern." when i was in grad school (over 40 yrs ago) my next-door-neighbor was a med student. from what he told me, the experiences that cook provides are all-too-common. by reading this book, you may gain an insight into the basic insecurity of all drs and how they learn to cope with this overwhelm.
i'm not excusing your mate. far from it. there is never an excuse for rudeness and, from what you say, rude is understatement for his behavior. but by gaining an insight into his motivation, you may be able to gear your message in terms that he can understand.
in 2001 i had an epidural steriod injection go bad. i was in such overwhelming pain that i attempted suicide - anything to get rid of the pain. fortunately, my wife stopped me before i got more than a bottle of darvocet down. after that she controlled all of my meds and everything else about my life. she treated me like a child. honestly, i was not capable of handling my own affairs at that time. as time passed, i got better and gradually took over more and more of my own responsibility and responsibility in the home. but all of this was earned - it was not given.
i hate confruntation. it genuinely upsets me. but perhaps you have to lay it on the line to this person. what do you want? how do you want to be treated? what do you want him to do to facilitate your progress? and what ae you willing to do to get there from here?
one other thing. are you old enough to remember "the graduate?" where dustin hoffman got his start? "love is never having to say you're sorry." forget appologies. actions say a lot more and a lot more loudly.
i know that this is rambling. sorry.
but i hope there is something here you can use. i wish you the best of luck in a difficult situation.
That light at the end of he tunnel? It's an on-coming train.