Hi there DianeC , I'd just like to welcome you to Healing Well
It looks like you have a lot of serious issues which are being left undealt with and are affecting your life (and your childs) considerably. I feel that if you don't deal with these issues they are going to eat away at you as I can already see that they are burdening you.
Take a visit to your doc and find out about getting some counselling , they may also suggest some meds to help you through this.
Take care hun , stay strong.