Is it worth it....

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sunandmoon
New Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 5/28/2007 10:38 AM (GMT -7)   
Hi everyone,
 
My dh has bipolar1, and had been symptom free for 5 years.  When he was first diagnosed he spent a total of 52 days, on and off, in the psychiatric hospital over the course of about 2 years.  After the initial diagnosis and gettting the right combo dh stayed on the meds for 5 years and things were really good.  In the past 5 months dh has stopped his meds 4 times, and went, voluntarily into the hospital for one of these times to get back on the meds. 
 
As of the past 3 weeks he has stopped taking Depakote, and is taking a lower dose of Geodon.  He is still on lamictal, and even though the dr. discontinued the Wellbutrin dh takes it occasionally. Dh told his psychiatrist that he did this, not the part about the Wellbutrin, and the psychiatrist is allowing it.  The problem is that dh is saying that this is not an illness/disorder and that he resents me for having to take medication.  He said he only took it for me over that 5 year period.  In the past dh has suffered from extreme mania that goes to psychosis.  Now though he seems irritable and edgy.  I'm told on a daily basis that I am controlling and that I don't understand anything because I have never been manic.  Well I have had to deal with all of the fallout from it.  I won't go into it, but it has not been fun.
 
I guess I should get to the point.  Is this worth it?  I just don't know anymore.  It seems to me that until he acknowledges that he has an illness and will have to take meds for the rest of his life this cycle will just continue.  It's very stressful and exhausting for me.  I've got to the point where I just feel kind of dead to all of this.  Dh believes that he is alive when not on the meds and spiritually dead when taking them.  My heart goes out to him, but I also just have shut down to all of this.  It seems like my life revolves around his illness.  Has anyone been through anything like this with their spouses with bipolar?  Thanks for reading this.  I'm just at a loss and I'm not even sure that my post makes sense.  Thanks for letting me vent.
 
sunandmoon

2Hawaii
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 82
   Posted 5/28/2007 11:59 AM (GMT -7)   
sunandmoon, I would like to reply, as I do understand, but also being new to posting on this web site, I'm not sure how to email you or leave a post just for you and not make it public. If you or anyone has any suggestions, please email me.

stressed in bama
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 33
   Posted 5/31/2007 12:15 AM (GMT -7)   
sunandmoon,
I feel your pain. My husband was diagnosed last year and this January 1st.I left for 3 weeks because my husband wasn't ding anything the dr.s told him and I was at a lost trying to be supportive when he was doing everything totally opposite from what he needed to be doing. He has finally for the time being ,, not self medicating and is doing pretty well. The difference with my husband and your situation is my husband knoews he has a problem and I have helped him to research and learn as much as we can about the illness. I do hope that your DH realizes that he does have a problem and that he has someone who loves him and wants to see him be better. I will put you on my prayer list and just know you are not alone.God bless you and may you find new strengh in each day.
stressed in bama

sunandmoon
New Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 5/31/2007 12:54 PM (GMT -7)   

Hi,

Thank you both for the replies and the prayers too.  It's just so miserable around here that I have to make some decisions soon.  It's really sad and unfortunate because dh did fantastically on medication for 5 years.    I really don't know what triggered this, and I guess at this point it doesn't matter.  I really thought we had this under control.  Things don't have to be this way, but they are.  Thanks again!  It does help just knowing that I'm not the only person dealing with this.

sunandmoon

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