Crazy thoughts Ideas

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sooper
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 815
   Posted 6/29/2007 2:54 PM (GMT -7)   
Hey everyone I really hope your all doing good right now :) Im feeling pretty decent (odd I notice im more depressed/anxious in the morning and more level at night.
 
Anyhoo, does anyone wanna share any really crazy things they have done or thought while manic?
 
 
 
1. I had this crazy idea in my head that I was this super special person, like someone outa the bible you could say - -  I made all these great ideas of where my life was headed what life was for everyone and what death ment, I had passed the test of life and great things were to come, I no longer feared death and seen it as a positive... and no crap during this episode of deranged thinking I ment up with these buddhist handing out books who said i would be very great and go very far...after hypomania talking them up -  the book they gave me was called coming back (reincarnation) I was like blambo IM BACK !!that just sent things sky rocketing. Was convinced I was gonna be a rock star, or some sooper power like Chris Angel, I really was (those were the days I dont have it in me anymore to even play my axe and well I havnt been able to walk on water yet lol) It was reallly reallly complicated had me thinking I was skitzo but they said it was just sever mania. Once I came to terms that all my biblical like answers to life were fantasy I got pretty depressed for a bit, I had it all sorted out so well, or all to hell as you can tell. The story is even more drawn out but tryed to keep it not too long. long of short, wow I need medications while on anti-d.
 
2. Ran around town naked yelling about morals and such to random people I remember syaing life is a buta  dream alot. I kept running to different churches for some reason - I cant remember when I got naked though, that really scares me. I was telling people I didnt care if they smoked crack did bad things that I loved em all and so on... At the end of my journey some guy was watching me for some reason and I was like want me to walk on the water, i'll do it ! luckly he didnt respond and continued on his way. I suddenly came to terms that I was butt naked in the freezing cold went to someones door they didnt answer but they called the police who took me too the nut house, god bless em. This went on for a long time these wierd thoughts and such I could write a book on all the trippy experiences and odd coincedences that just kept spiraling me out of control (like the buddhist) it lasted 2 years ago all summer, until my poor roomie was horrified at my behaviour and then I got help.
 
3. Paranoia. this was my most recent I was convinced we were reaching a spiritual peak in the world and that I was a very important part of this peak and that people were spying on me :( then my roomies said the jahova wittnesses came to see me and I was all freaked out they wanted a piece of my soul or something.
This all sounds skitzo I know but they assure me they dont think I am at all.
 
I know some of you might think less of me but hey this was life for me. All three happened after starting anti depressants, stopped was normal, got depressed back on AD back to mania, there was also lots of partying, talking, spending and all the gloria of hypomania. But I had three sever things I thought I would share with you.
 
I guess im really bored, sorry if this bored you or makes you think less of me.
im a professional... on an amateur level !


stkitt
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/29/2007 9:06 PM (GMT -7)   

Hey sooper,

Have you ever read Call Me Anna: The Autobiography of Patty Duke by Patty Duke.  It is an older book but a true story and amazing story.

You can pick it up in paperback or order it from library.

After reading your post this came to mind as a story I read that was written by a person in the public eye and how brave she was to share her story.

Just a suggestion and not a work book by any means but a life story.



Respectfully
Kitt
 
Moderator Anxiety ~ Panic Disorders

Dx: Anxiety/Panic, Depression 
______________________________________________________
"If you doubt you can accomplish something, then you can’t accomplish it. You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” 
~Rosalyn Carter

Post Edited (stkitt) : 6/30/2007 4:13:20 PM (GMT-6)


sooper
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2003
Total Posts : 815
   Posted 6/30/2007 9:58 AM (GMT -7)   
Stkitt,


thanks for the reply. I have not had a chance to read the book you mention, but as in another post was looking for good books. I will keep this one in mind, can only afford so much as im on disability. but im writing them al down

ahope your coping well today,

take care
im a professional... on an amateur level !


wmnak
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1123
   Posted 6/30/2007 1:00 PM (GMT -7)   

sooper.

what do tyou mean mania?  you just described my whole life.  :-)

warren


That light at the end of he tunnel?  It's an on-coming train.
 
 

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