Welcome to HW. Your post wasn't confusing, so no worries. It sounds like you really love your family and I hope that you can stay together as a family. BP is not only hard on us, but on those around us. I have been learning that for quite some time. And then when trust issues are thrown into the mix, it makes everything even harder.
Irritibility/anger, are symptoms of BP for sure. But I know you don't want to be taking that out on your wife and especially not the little one (Jackson is one of my favourite names ). Have you ever gone to counselling or better yet any support groups for BP? I was in a support group for my BP and going at first was a bit awkward (even though I was very much used to therapy), but after a couple times and by the end, the group felt like a huge group of close friends. We all taught each other so much, and the leaders of the group did too. Just about how to cope with our symtpoms. It might be really helpful for you. And maybe that would make a difference in your marriage, I'm not sure.
If your wife needs her space, as painful as it might be, it probably would be best to give that to her. But maybe as a follow up to your conversation this morning, you could see if there is anything she wants or needs from you to make things right. I'm not sure if you already talked about that.
Try to take care of yourself though. The better you manage the illness, the better it will reflect on your family I can promise you that.
Take care, and keep posting.
~~~ Olivia ~~~Moderator, Bipolar"Don't let your yesterday, ruin your today" "The moon if always full, think about it."Dx: Bipolar I (mixed-episodes), PTSD, Anxiety/Panic Disorder Support HealingWell: http://www.healingwell.com/donate
I can totally sympathise with the other side of this scenerio. My (ex) boyfriend and the love of my life is misdiagnosed bipolar. He knows there's something wrong, went to the doctor, and since he is not so extreme with his disease, is just being treated with depression and anxiety. He mostly deals with anger and rage. Though he has never (and would never) hurt me physically, emotionally he was terrible. I am a strong woman who never put up with anyone who did me wrong. However, he has broken me down so much that it is only since this last break up that I have opened my eyes.
I'll be very surprised if he doesn't come back again (he always has), but this time, I don't think I can take him back. He has to make some seroius changes on his own and take ownership for this problem to find the proper treatment. I was more than willing to stand by him as all this was taken care of, but as soon as the doctor hinted that he wasn't bipolar, it was law.
The doctor sees him once every 6 weeks...I see him every day. No, i'm not a doctor so I can't make a clinical diagnosis, but I see what I see and i'm the one who is emotionally abused, not him. 85% of the time, things are magically perfect. The remaining time, I want to jump out a window.