Thank you all for your replies. I was doing okay for a bit there, but now I'm back in crisis mode. I'm scared again.
Ellie, I took my kitty into bed and tried to have a nap. I think I slept for about an hour. My cat stayed with me the whole time and it was comforting, so thanks for that idea. I was feeling a little better after that. No worries about the chat, sometimes I'm not comfy with it either. But may need to pop in there today.
I read through your posting today at work, I hope your doing ok. One thing I noticed is that you feel alone, and yet I see all the replies you have got in a short amount of time. You have a great support family here. Your not alone your just by yourself while you read the postings from your friends. You have a lot of good people here that are more than willing to talk and help you and others through the difficult times. Dutchie has been working outside all day but has checked several times to try and catch you online so she could chat. With the problems we are going through that should mean a lot that she is thinking so much of you, you have friends to talk to, it's just figuring out the timing.
Your a strong person dealing with a difficult time. The difficult time will pass, you will always be that strong person. Take it a little at a time and know that you will feel good when you accomplish small goals that you set out for yourself.
We are all thinking of you and supporting you through this.
Your cyber support family.