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shine_on_u_crazy_dimond
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2007
Total Posts : 53
   Posted 7/14/2007 7:19 PM (GMT -7)   
Been a long day today. Time seems to be crawling by, maybe it'll race past tomorrow- possibly as fast as my thoughts.
 
I've been hypomanic for the majority of the day, I think the alcohol from last night and the lack of sleep contributed a lot to it. Does anyone else find their hypomanic after a night of drinking when everyone else complains about being hungover?
 
In my ultimate wisdom, I drank three bottles of wine and then decided to stay awake I would need some coffee...but I hate coffee. So,being incredibly drunk, I thought that snorting A line of coffee was a good idea when in reality it is pretty insane and I feel embarrased of myself, for obvious reasons. I think a deep feeling of inferiority was lurking about and my ego wanted some social approval - it made my mates laugh. It also kept me awake for the rest of the night.
 
Back to this hypomania. Does anyone know any ways to stop it when you're in it? It's mad that we spend so much of our time depressed and when this feeling of happiness comes along we have to deny it and try to battle against it. It can be just as difficult as battling depression at times. But I want to accept it, you know? I just want it to be happiness, why does it turn into hypomania? I don't understand.
 
I've decided not to battle against it today, I just let it engulf me. My voice was incredibly different, constantly cracking jokes and feeling a grandiose confidence which was verging on narcisstic. But I think it helped me in the sense that I was talking to people, being more social - but then this is hypomania... it's not me. Is it? It's so confusing :(
 
Tomorrow is a new day (well actually it's not because it's 3am just now) but things might be different after I wake up. The problem is the depression. Depression is always the problem. Do you find that you're constantly depressed unless your hypomanic? My voice goes monotone, I find it hard to communicate, my stomach turns more than the paths I try to follow, I feel emotionless- it's not even the sadness people associate with depression, it's just total pain and agony.
 
I'd love to be able to sit down with a girl just now and just talk. I'm 20 years old and as I get older the more difficult it is to talk to girls, I'm falling into a deeper hole each year and looking up at heights that were once below me. I've not had a girlfriend in years and I suffer from body dysmorphic disorder so I've never slept with a girl because my appearance orientated obsessions make me icredibly insecure.
 
I'm not much of a catch. A walking talking criteria for mental illness, I'd wear a t-shirt to advertise the fact, but I think it's probably pretty visible for all to see.
 
Well I hope all's well wherever you're at reader :)

olivia of course
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1523
   Posted 7/14/2007 9:28 PM (GMT -7)   
Shine,

Wow, sorry your going through a rough time. Having been through a mixed-state episode lately, I feel your pain. When I was younger I bounced back between hypomania and depression. Not much time to feel somewhat normal, and it was also (pre-meds).

I know about the drinking, I don't know if I drank because I was hypomanic or if drinking made things worse.

When I am in my episodes, I usually call my pdoc and try to get it under control with meds. I am usually in the episode for at least 1-2 weeks before I ask for meds. I am too stubborn and especially when it comes to asking for help.

Since you don't know how long and how far your episode will take you, you should contact your pdoc and ask for help. I am guessing they will increase your dose of your mood stabilizer, and/or prescribe you an anti-psychotic (which I have been on for various reasons).

Best Wishes!


~~~ Olivia  ~~~
Moderator, Bipolar

"Don't let your yesterday, ruin your today"
Dx:  Bipolar I, PTSD, Anxiety/Panic Sufferer
Support HealingWellhttp://www.healingwell.com/donate

Post Edited (olivia of course) : 7/14/2007 10:41:33 PM (GMT-6)


joe1976
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 7/16/2007 10:48 PM (GMT -7)   
Hi shineonyou,
I get hypomanic after lack of sleep and mild grandiose delusions (textbook stuff)... then I kind of need a sleep aid after not sleeping enough for 3 days in a row.

For me seroquel helps at night... and so does the valium. I get scared when I feel hypomanic cos I get irritable and sometimes tend to be mean to my significant others.

Agree with Olivia, hope your updating your pdoc and can resolve the issue if it is causing u distress

about the subject of girls.. I'm 30 and just terribly insecure and feel like a burden. So I guess I'm on a similar boat... but I do need to get better before I even consider seeing and greeting another woman... I think I'll go mad. Which is usually the case when I think I'm falling in love

Take care...

Joe from singapore
__________________________________________________________________
Bipolar Type 1
Social anxiety/agoraphobia
100mg Lamictal 3 times daily
500-600 seroquel at night
2.5mg diazepam 3 times daily, 10mg at night

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